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[macbeth]

I feel like giving up on therapy because I feel like every time I start to make inroads I find myself back to where I began. I was seeing my T for about 3 years every 2 weeks (more if I needed it) up until August. I had my next appointment already booked. Just before I was to see her I got a text that she wouldn't be able to see clients as she had taken unexpected personal leave. She would return in September. If I need immediate care call to see someone else. I didn't want to see anyone else as it has taken that long to build the relationship with all of my trust issues that most of us have. That months comes and a letter in the mail arrives. Her leave extended until Oct. And they would try to make other arrangements. A few weeks ago I received a letter from them again. It simply said that my T will not be returning and as their services are at capacity I they were letting me go. That was it. Cold and blunt. I've just had enough. I know I need it but I just don't know how to start again. Sorry I think I just needed to vent I'm just sick of being shunted around the system which has been happening for more than a decade and she is the only T I've had for more than 18 months How do I start over?

 

[Ronin]

Okay - do you know what you've learned in therapy already, and can do on your own for yourself, and what are the other things that you absolutely need a therapist guidance and presence for?

Maybe can be a place to start, if you're able to do bits here and there for yourself, looking for someone who can do the more emergency parts that you can't.

Some times the ground isn't a totally new ground, because we've fallen there already and gotten up. You know that ground, kind of a reasoning.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

irkkk I would hate to be in your shoes. I really can't imagine my therapist "dumping" me like that.

Question: do the various therapists you have had over the years seem consistent with what they're encouraging you to do? Do they tend to agree with each other or are they completely different in their approaches. The message that comes across to you. Are you able to digest and practice what they coach?

I guess I'm wondering if @Ronin may be right. Perhaps for the time being - since it doesn't seem like they're giving you many options, you might take it as an opportunity to practice some of what they've been teaching. Personally, I'd probably get mad if someone suggested that to me, but overall, they might be right.

Just a thought. I really don't mean to offend in any way. I'm sorry if any of this sounds callous or uncaring.

 

[macbeth]

Some things I have learned over the years I have tried at home but have found I respond better if it's guided by a practitioner @Ronin. The problem is the inconsistency in their advice , it has even contradicted itself. @stp2012 , in Australia we have a service we can access from our Dr. called a mental health plan. You can get psychological appointment s. for almost free but are limited to 10 a year. My psychologist referred me to a hospital run program that would offer ongoing support because she felt I needed intensive thereapy. This is the program I've just been let go off. I was told to go back to Dr. and get another plan. I''ve been angry, sad hurt you name it. I think I might just take your advice and take a break. And no you haven't offended me at all. I appreciate your points of view

 

[Suzetig]

Things happen to therapists, the same as they do to everyone - that means they have crises and emergency and that life just gets in the way sometimes. It sounds like something unexpected has happened in your therapists life that's got in the way of her working life. I very much doubt that's about you or your work with her.

Can you draw on the parts of your work with her and use what you've learned to manage your feelings with this. Those feelings of anger frustration and hurt are really natural when we experience loss. It may help to think of it as something that's happened in her life rather than something she's done to you?

 

[Deleted member 33880]

I know you know about how horrible my own termination was and is. So I came to look at your thread.
One of the things I think now is that therapists can have a sore toe, a bit of back ache or a feeling of needing a break - and it is classified as much more important than a client who they terminate being so high risk that they will probably kill themselves.
I sound bitter?
This is only the half of it!
They are trained at therapy school to remember that a client who is suicidal and never trusted anyone in their life can be dropped like a ton of bricks if you the therapist feel like you need a year off because you would like to have more time with your dog. They are told that you cannot compare pains and their pain is always more important. Always. You are just the insignficant client.
Rant over. For now.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

Things happen to therapists, the same as they do to everyone

Very true. I felt like I needed my therapist this past weekend. He knew I was in a crisis type situation. I did feel let down and honestly angry with him. Turns out he was at a 20 yr old's funeral. Someone he had assessed a year ago. This person committed suicide. He was really struggling that day. He was also scheduled to speak at a seminar on Sunday on depression. None of which I knew. Yes, therapists have crisis' in their own personal lives just as we do.

It's actually amazing that they're able to keep their personal lives separate from their professional lives. I know I wouldn't.

 

[Suzetig]

They are trained at therapy school to remember that a client who is suicidal and never trusted anyone in their life can be dropped like a ton of bricks if you the therapist feel like you need a year off

That's not true. I know it feels like it for you and that it comes from a place of hurt and pain but I don't see how it helps you, or anyone else, to start making up stories about what happens in training.

Most therapists I know take their duty to their client incredibly seriously and don't cancel appointments much less terminate without very good reason. The OP doesn't know why her therapist has had to take personal leave but I doubt it was to spend time with her dog. In your case your therapists father died. You've talked about him being "like a father figure" and talk about hardly being able to function because of your grief and loss. His actual father died - not a father figure, or a professional relationship - his father. That's enough for someone to take time out of client work and, if he's experiencing the loss of his father the way you're experiencing the loss of your "father figure", it's responsible for him to stop client work.

I know there's more to it and that you're lashing out to some extent and I'm truly sorry your therapist has left you in such a state. But there are people on this site who rely on the professionalism of their therapist - as you did - who aren't helped by you running down a whole profession on the basis of your bad experience.

My therapist has cancelled 3 times in just over 3 years. Each time it was for a serious family emergency (e.g. hospitalisation of her child), not because she broke a nail or felt like a day off. I really could have done with seeing her, felt I was seriously struggling but actually I'd rather she attended to her own and her families need than try to work with me when her heart and mind were elsewhere.

 

[macbeth]

@Suzetig I know this had nothing to do with the work she was doing with any of her clients, things happen. What I'm feeling has more to do with the hospital service she worked for and how they've handled it. Without warning I've been discharged because no one can take me on. Just a two sentence letter in the mail saying to go back to Dr for 10 sessions that weren't enough and the reason I was there in the first place.

 

[Suzetig]

I can understand that - the hospital owes you a better standard of care than that. Therapists need to work within the limits of the agencies that employ them - as we all need to work with min the policies of our workplaces. If your T has been as good with you as they sound, I imagine they're no happier about the termination - and may not even know about it if they're still off on personal leave.

It's a horrible ending, whatever the circumstances.

 

[qwyoey]

I know you know about how horrible my own termination was and is. So I came to look at your thread.
One...

This isn't true and this type of thinking doesn't help anyone.

Therapists have an INCREDIBLY difficult job. They have many clients. And their own personal lives and issues. And sometimes those issues have extreme consequences and it is better that they do not see clients - which is for the clients own sake.

 

[Mice]

@macbeth I'm so sorry for what is happening to you. I also lost my 3 year therapist this week, 2 weeks notice. It's so scary and painful. At least, I had the chance to have a last session... I just want to mention that I think you are great for directing your frustration towards the hospital rather than your therapist - even if that may feel safer. Could perhaps your doctor directly refer you to another hospital run program for long-term therapy? Or do you have to go through a 10 sessions therapy before getting referred to an upper level?