Being insecure

[Angelwings]

I've been worried about posting here, lately. I'm worried that no one here likes me, or that I'm too dramatic for people. I'm also worried that I have been annoying my new therapist, and that she's going to dislike me, as well. I suppose this has been a theme in my life. I have no friends that live nearby, and even if I wanted more friends I can't get myself to join a group or a yoga class, so that I can meet new people. It all seems pretty dangerous to me.

 

[WishfulThinking123]

@Angelwings I resonate so much with feeling the things you describe. I know I havent been around much and just started coming back here lately but, I remember you from before and have always liked you and never thought of you as being dramatic! That is actually a huge trigger word for me....and feeling this way has actually inhibited my ability to heal. I actually start almost every conversation with my T....I know you will think this annoying, stupid, etc... and actually in doing this she always reassures me that she has never felt this way and my pain is real. This has helped little by little in trying to change my perceptions of what others are thinking without actually asking them or truly knowing.. Being vulnerable is REALLY scary but, it does become EASIER the more you put yourself out there. Maybe at first you dont have to look for deep connections but, just people you can do yoga with, have coffee, chat with, etc... I have quite a few friends who help me get those social needs met but, dont know my life or what I go through on a daily basis and that is ok. Learning about you and being let in is a privilege and not something that happens right away but something thats earned.. Please dont be worried about posting anything! You can also pm me Take Care!

 

[Angelwings]

@Angelwings I resonate so much with feeling the things you describe. I kn...

Thanks @WishfulThinking123. Hearing that is reassuring. How do you go about meeting people? I'm on disability, and the majority of my time is spent with my son, or, when I feel well enough, volunteering at his school. I have two people I make small talk with there, but don't consider them to be friends. It's a big leap of faith for me to even try to hang out with someone. Even other parents at school.

 

[WishfulThinking123]

Well I've found being a parent has actually helped me make more friends. There are a lot of groups through social media of moms wanting to meet up or get together. If you just search around on Facebook or online, thats how I have met a lot of people. Actually, asking other moms (maybe moms of your sons friends) over with thier kids, so its not as vulnerable but sounds like you just want the kids together and then you can better get to know the moms and drink coffee while the kids hang out/play video games/etc.. I've found moms are always looking for an excuse to get out of the house. But, my true friends who really know me and my struggles I found through my Church. I just force myself to go into these uncomfortable situations and good things always comes from me putting myself out there. Hope I've helped!

 

[MrMoonlight]

I'm trying to overcome or at least challenge myself when it comes to isolation in all its forms. Sorry you're struggling with this too. I have no friends am on disability and don't get out much. This has been a way of life for the last twenty years so completely opening myself to others is really hard. This attitude follows me even here on this site. I'm insecure and have little self esteem. My talents, decent character and accomplishments can be written on paper but it doesn't translate emotionally. I don't know how to get out of this box.

 

[Mach123]

This is more than a pattern it's a pathology or it can become one at least with me. You set it up perfectly and if it starts running in your (my) head it obviously becomes self fulfilling. The difference is when you make (?) the outside world answer you by acting it out. The outside starts to behave according to the inside. Dangerous is a good fit as well, it gives "I'm my own worst enemy" a darker meaning.