- Thread starter
- #13
Not a real Seashell
Learning
@insignificant i think every reaction I have is from feedback I received, either as a child or from my abusive husband. That's a grand total of 59 years, and I know that on most things my perception is warped because of the negative feedback I received for so long. I'm finding I need to take a step back often and ascess my thought pattern. Is it reasonable, is it regurgitated garbage from the past.
I'm really very lucky, my Cerebral Palsy wasn't that bad for many years. I went to regular schools, got married, was able to keep house and raise my two kids. The last decade or so has been a lot harder, my aging body and, I believe, being on the wrong meds for too many years have taken quite a toll on me but my son is wonderful. I don't have to do anything I don't want to do, don't do anything I can't do. I didn't have to cook that meal,he would have done it when he got home but I still wrestle with feeling like I SHOULD contribute, and actually wanting to contribute.
I've never been good at being kind to myself but I'm getting a wee bit better at it. My son shows me a new perspective, he tells me he sees me struggle to do things that are easy for him and it makes it a little easier for me to cut myself some slack. I can be a worthwhile person even if I can't or choose not to do things that are easier for someone who is able-bodied.
I'm really very lucky, my Cerebral Palsy wasn't that bad for many years. I went to regular schools, got married, was able to keep house and raise my two kids. The last decade or so has been a lot harder, my aging body and, I believe, being on the wrong meds for too many years have taken quite a toll on me but my son is wonderful. I don't have to do anything I don't want to do, don't do anything I can't do. I didn't have to cook that meal,he would have done it when he got home but I still wrestle with feeling like I SHOULD contribute, and actually wanting to contribute.
I've never been good at being kind to myself but I'm getting a wee bit better at it. My son shows me a new perspective, he tells me he sees me struggle to do things that are easy for him and it makes it a little easier for me to cut myself some slack. I can be a worthwhile person even if I can't or choose not to do things that are easier for someone who is able-bodied.