Uncovering The Past - Do I need trauma details to find peace in the present?

[Jewell]

Do I need to uncover the details of my childhood ( alcoholic parents) to have peace in the present ???
I feel some peace with my recent CPTSD diagnosis and now thinking back all makes sense

I had it all so buried as I was made to believe we had a wonderful Brady bunch like family ( needs met as far as food , shelter , college education etc but none of my emotional needs were met)…my sister still believes we were so lucky to have a wonderful family
My brother not so much but won’t revisit the trauma

 

[scout86]

Do I need to uncover the details of my childhood (

Maybe not. And, maybe it depends on the situation. My therapist didn't make a big deal about retrieving details, with me. With some of his other clients, I have the impression that he did. What he was looking for was having people be able to "remember" stuff as opposed to "reliving" it. The way my brain works, that was a bit of a problem. We spent way more time working on how the past effects the present an how I could use that to change the way I deal with things now. It will be interesting to see what you get for answers. I think different people have different experiences with this.

 

[PCV]

Do I need to uncover the details of my childhood ( alcoholic parents) to have peace in the present ???
I feel some peace with my recent CPTSD diagnosis and now thinking back all makes sense

I had it all so buried as I was made to believe we had a wonderful Brady bunch like family ( needs met as far as food , shelter , college education etc but none of my emotional needs were met)…my sister still believes we were so lucky to have a wonderful family
My brother not so much but won’t revisit the trauma

I had a similar experience. Until I was 39, I thought I had the best brother and best parents. Then slowly I started dwelling on how my brother used to sexually and emotionally abuse me when I was little and how my parents were there for me much.

I'm having the same struggle. It feels like if I can remember everything, then I can justify feelings of trauma. But I don't think that's how it works. My therapist says that its not what happened, but rather the hurt that I kept inside me for so long that are causing all the C-PTSD symptoms. So we have started doing some EMDR therapy. I had one session of it so far. It was good how it helped me to unlock what I suppressed for so long.

 

[Movingforward10]

My therapist says that its not what happened, but rather the hurt that I kept inside me for so long that are causing all the C-PTSD symptoms

Yeah I think it's exactly this. It's what is happening for us in our life now (symptoms) and making meaning of the past and how it impacts now.
It's hard though, because at the beginning of trauma therapy I think I wanted to know all the precise details of this and that to make sense of it. But you don't need that. As it's how we hold the past that is the key.

 

[whiteraven]

Do I need to uncover the details of my childhood ( alcoholic parents) to have peace in the present ???

I don't think all those with PTSD need to uncover and "process" their traumas to have peace. l actually believe that we have normalized processing trauma (and in many cases, have made it a "should"), and have gotten away from other ways to bring ourselves to peace.

 

[arfie]

i don't believe i need the details of my childhood trauma, but i need a comfort zone in **going there**. for one, reminders are everywhere and it bites, big time, to have to field a ptsd psychosis for every reminder. secondly, there are important gems in every childhood worth carrying forward. even mine.

i don't expect my trauma tales to ever be my favorite chit chat, but i'm grateful i have been able to repair at least part of the memory damage. i believe i am the only senior citizen i know whose memory has actually improved with age.

 

[Friday]

The first time I managed my ptsd down to virtually asymptomatic, I didn't touch my trauma history at all. PURELY went after symptoms. And that worked, for a decade or so, until new trauma/loss of coping mechanisms & stress? Kicked Pandora's box wide open, again.

10 near asymptomatic years? Nothing to thumb your nose at.

But?

Took me roughly 5 years to manage it, and when everything kicked off, again? Instead of a shortened timeline (I was hoping/thinking/expecting 2-3 years), it's doubled. 10+ years.

Having the option to go back in time and NOT set the springloaded trap for myself? I would do in a heart beat. Shrug. Live & learn.

I'm glad I got those 10 years. I'd rather have had 20, 30, 40.

 

[Jewell]

i don't believe i need the details of my childhood trauma, but i need a comfort zone in **going there**. for one, reminders are everywhere and it bites, big time, to have to field a ptsd psychosis for every reminder. secondly, there are important gems in every childhood worth carrying forward. even mine.

i don't expect my trauma tales to ever be my favorite chit chat, but i'm grateful i have been able to repair at least part of the memory damage. i believe i am the only senior citizen i know whose memory has actually improved with age.

The first time I managed my ptsd down to virtually asymptomatic, I didn't touch my trauma history at all. PURELY went after symptoms. And that worked, for a decade or so, until new trauma/loss of coping mechanisms & stress? Kicked Pandora's box wide open, again.

10 near asymptomatic years? Nothing to thumb your nose at.

But?

Took me roughly 5 years to manage it, and when everything kicked off, again? Instead of a shortened timeline (I was hoping/thinking/expecting 2-3 years), it's doubled. 10+ years.

Having the option to go back in time and NOT set the springloaded trap for myself? I would do in a heart beat. Shrug. Live & learn.

I'm glad I got those 10 years. I'd rather have had 20, 30, 40.

Thank you
So you’re saying you wish you had addressed the trauma details from the start ?

 

[Friday]

Thank you
So you’re saying you wish you had addressed the trauma details from the start ?

Very much so.

It's not necessary to achieve peace. At least for a little while. But I wish I had.

 

[Jewell]

Very much so.

It's not necessary to achieve peace. At least for a little while. But I wish I had.

Those are my thoughts as I approach this new diagnosis
Clear out the garbage from my brain and body
I have buried it for MANY years

 

[arfie]

So you’re saying you wish you had addressed the trauma details from the start ?

no. a goodly portion of my own therapy was dedicated to getting past my habitual wish washing. wishing for a different past has yet to get me far.

perhaps i am only splitting grammatical hairs, but i'm saying that my healing did not begin in earnest until i addressed those gnarly details.

 

[CooCoo4CocoaPuffs]

I don’t think so. Once I yeeted c**t mother a bunch of awful memories came back. It really fckd me up for awhile. Holy crqp, the nightmares were wild.