Bringing Partners Into Therapy Session?

[LizBeth1]

Hi all -

For those of you in relationships whose therapists have suggested bringing your partners in to talk about partner communication and things like that, have you actually been able to do so?

My therapist has suggested this. Initially it seemed like a good idea, but then I realized, "What if I get triggered, and he witnesses me regressing and my therapist having to ground me?" When that happens, it can be pretty intense and emotions can be hanging out all over the place. I have no idea how my partner would interpret what he was seeing under these circumstances. I let my therapist know about this concern and she understood completely and said that of course these were my sessions, they were for me, so we certainly didn't have to do that if I was uncomfortable.

But it made me wonder if anyone else has successfully brought a partner in to talk together with the therapist. Have any of you done this? Have you gotten triggered, and did your partner witness your therapist working with you while you were regressed? If so, how did that work out?

Thanks...
LB

 

[The Albatross]

Yeah, I'm in joint counseling with my husband right now. I don't disassociate much, because I consider my therapist's office a "safe" place when I'm there. It has been beneficial for me to hear what my husband thinks, and for him to hear me and what goes on in my head too.

I had to get to a better place in my relationship before I did that though. We did 14 weeks of effective communication counseling in our church last spring and summer. It helped us a lot and without it I don't know if our sessons would be as beneficial. He has matured enough to not feel offended and is coming from a more supportive place now, and so am I. The primary focus of our sessions though now is my depression and PTSD. I had reservations too, but agreed to do several sessions before I made up my mind.

My T doesn't do regressions though. I hope some others here will share their experiences for you too.
Do what's right for you LizBeth, there may be another way to involve your spouse, in some sort of support group perhaps. We'd done that as well, with some success. Not a group here at the moment though.

 

[Reclusive]

My fiance and I have periodic joint sessions - we both have PTSD and it's a good way to get in touch with how we should be maneuvering around each other as we are in different stages of coping and dealing with different things. Our t helps us identify ways we can communicate and how to recognize when we should just give each other space. He also helps translate for us, so, say I've been trying to tell my h that I need something and he isn't getting it, doesn't understand, sometimes we can get it cleared up with the t. It's been good so far.

 

[LizBeth1]

That's great. Thanks Albatross and Reclusive for your insights - sounds like it's helped.

 

[Gamereign555]

Yeah I was given that option in the very beginning and have been going to sessions with my girlfriend of 5 years the whole time. It's been pretty good.

 

[ragdoll]

I see a psychiatrist every few months and a psychologist every 2 - 3 weeks.

My hubby is my best friend. He knows me "as me" before all the PTSD muck. He comes with me to my sessions with my psychiatrist. Sometimes it's so hard to explain how I am feeling to my P yet sometimes easier to tell my hubby. Hubby can often help me explain the constant rollercoaster of emotions and behaviours I've been going through. It helps my P get a better insight of who I was and who I am now.
The visits also help my husband get a better understanding from my P of what is going on in my head. This gave me comfort knowing hubby is aware of what I am going through.

I had a really intense panic attack when visiting a different P and it threw my husband right off balance. After the attack and seeing the look of helplessness on his face, I was more concerned for his feelings.
Yes, the session was for me and as horrible as it was for him to see that, it was also helpful for him to learn some basics on how to ground me and to see the techniques I use to ground myself.
It gave him an understanding of how draining panic attacks are.

Sometimes, hubby will come with me to my psychologist sessions when he feels like he is "losing" me again. He tells me and her I often become very distant. Not really there. She suggests strategies for both of us to get me back to a coping place.
Often the psychologist sessions are just me and her. It would be too overwhelming for hubby and me if he came to everyone.

LB, I did give my hubby the choice to attend sessions or not. He wrapped his big strong arms around me and said "in sickness and in health." :inlove: Sometimes I wonder how much sickness he can put up with!! :confused:

I am so grateful for his love and support. However, it was important for me to feel comfortable and he did too with the whole process. If not, it would have added more stress to my healing.

Hope this helps. Warmest thoughts.
Ragdoll xxxxxxx

 

[BloomInWinter]

I did it. ONCE.

Haven't had the guts to do it again. It was fine - and my T. and my hubby really made sleep work better.

Just...felt too much like a kid in the principal's office. Though...I'm going to ask him to come to my next one.

Ok, there's my dare to myself. *sigh.

 

[Srain]

Mine is coming in. We are getting set up for it. I think I'm finally getting it across to her what the problem for me seems to be. He is so different than me that I often compare myself to him and honestly I feel like if he wasn't such a great guy he would be long gone! I catch myself telling him that I hardly seeing him being the kind of guy telling me it's over get out. He's not that kind of person and now that we are married....on and on and on....until I'm like the worst squatter in the world!

It will be good for us to have a session in which my tdoc can say what I seem to only be able to babble about then get self-deprecating and hateful over. I get angry and he remains calm so I feel like there is something awful about me. He says nothing about it, he just tries to listen. I forget the things I like about me because I've forgotten who I am as I explore the traumas and shattering.

I feel very confident in my tdoc. She is both balanced and with me.

 

[Tinyflame]

Dear Srain, don't feel badly to say what you are feeling, it's the truth and you work very hard to overcome everything.

Your husband sounds like he's a good grounding source (and force) and loves you (for you- as you are) and understands- that is why he doesn't get angry.
(((((SRain)))))

 

[mikenanboy]

I am bringing my wife to our first session together Monday afternoon. I asked my T earlier in my sessions if she thought this was a good idea and she said she thought so. My wife is curious about the sessions and wants to participate as much as possible, plus she wants to meet my therapist. I think it will be a good thing and will only bring us closer.