Brother

[Bookoffee]

Everything between my wife are much better once realized that I hadn't taken my medication for four days.

Prior to our awaking, I decided to e-mail one of my brothers. I haven't talked to him since his two children were in still wearing daippers. Now there are is anothet kid and the oldest gradurated.

Growing up he would stay for a couple of weeks and move on then come back,so on. There was a night that my stepfather tried to kill my mother and I. My brother got him away from us without getting to bruised. Once he had our stepfather hidden somewhere, my mother and I jumped in the back of the pickup and threw anything we could grab to put over us.

I emailed my brother within the past few days and asked him why he wouldn't our stepfather kill us. Then I asked why our mother didn't decide to have an adoration when she found out she was pregnant with me.

He told me to call him and gave me his number. It took a while but I made the call. I can't remember what we talked about. I remember my wife coming in and my brother wanted to talk to her, they have never met or talked to each other. I handed the phone to my wife and she was extremely upset that I had called him. He has never cared about for the last decade or so

I became angry becaused he told me he would call back to see how I am doing. He never called back. I didnt hear from him for a few days and finally I wtoe back to him thatt his wife stopped inviting me to his children events after my first serious suicide attempt. ZI told him that our mother defended the abusive brother by yelling at me that at least he didn't rape you.

I told him it was a mistake to reach out to the brother that protected me as a child. He called me today and left a message just telling me to call him.

My wife and I talked about it if it would be a good idea for me to return his call. He is no longer that teenager protecting me. He has a new life with children of his own, been to war three times, is a police detective in one of ourdangorous city. He is a new man.

Would he try and make my mother and I to talk again? Is he telling my mother that I had another breakdown? Can I trust him to be in my life? Would I feel comfortable around him? Etc....

Thank God I have therapy tomorrow

 

[Friday]

There are so many pieces to this... But one of the ones that stands out the most

I became angry becaused he told me he would call back to see how I am doing. He never called back. I didnt hear from him for a few days and finally I wtoe back to him thatt his wife stopped inviting me to his children events after my first serious suicide attempt. ZI told him that our mother defended the abusive brother by yelling at me that at least he didn't rape you.

The vast majority of the time when I tell someone I'll call to check in on someone & see how they're doing? I mean within a week or two That's a pretty realistic time frame for things to have changed, and gives them some time to sort out what they've gotten behind on in their life from being sick. "I'll give you a call in a few days // I'll ring you sometime next week, see if you're feeling better maybe we can set something up."

It's extremely rare that I would call someone the next day, much less same day. My absolute closest friends, only, would I be calling back any sooner than several days out.

What I'm reading here... Is that you've been estranged from your brother for over a decade? That there is a whole lot of complicated history here, including it sounds as if you were deemed a threat to his children at some point... And your first contact back with him? Are holding him to some pretty impossible standards. :(

I would really urge you to take a step back and consider what it is that you're hoping for, here. He seems amenable to possibly reconnecting, despite being lashed out at twice already... his immediate response has been to talk in real time, also to the point of talking with your wife to try & get a better handle on the situation? If this is the case it sounds like someone who is very much trying, not the opposite. I would similarly very much suggest working out what your goals here are with your therapist when you get there, as well as some reasonable expectations for how to get there :)

 

[Bookoffee]

Past week or so I have been struggling a lot, I am sure you can see. I can't stop seeing my stepfather. When my wife talks, I freeze and can't understand her because I hear my stepfathers voice. ,y brother was the only person in my life that protected me, as a child. I have been having a real hard time telling the difference between the present and the past.

I was alone in the house and I was in my bedroom, I became extremely scare and alone so I wrote to him experience acting him to protect me again.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

So now you're taking your medication, but how do you explain her ruining your birthday? Did she apologize for that?

 

[Bookoffee]

Yes she did. We had a long talk and how our communation is not on the same page so we need to work on it. Tomorrow she has off so we are going to library to find self help book.

And the best part, she is taking me to the state to visit my favorite farm called The Gentle Barn. I am in love with a cow by the name of Dudley and his new friend Density. I follow there page and I want to build one in the state I live in. This has been a childhood dream of mine. I always wanted save animals and have foster/behaviour children and special needs people that could volunteer and hire.