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Can anyone help me? anyone have a religion or church?

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@Junebug :hug::hug:

My opinion...
Churches (albeit for some are quintessential for community as well as spirituality) are just a building where people congregate...and sometimes God enters.;) Much has to do with the leadership, over all congregation and if religiosity prevails with right- fight thinking concerning Old Testament Law versus New Testaments of grace with tolerance. Churches centered on minor precepts are often deemed cults by theological study.

So when wrestling with ‘a longing’, spiritual call or emptiness inside it becomes an deeply personal choice that may be found for the individual within teachings of the chosen Higher Power or within the some type of community or fold. With that being said, may I offer some love and support of who you are already- along with your journey of daily spiritual navigation.

Not everyone receives an deity in the same fashion, embraces life in the same manner or has the same need sets. That is why the deity relationship is considered a personal testimony or search. Your feelings of not fitting in among the congregation may be from the PTSD, principles variation, from some root of inner self criticism or perhaps the church just may not fit your needs in the moment.

Being LGBTQ for me, presented several quagmires in fitting in among some churches if I was to be authentic. There is finally tolerance within some buildings or church denominations which allow membership. They are mostly Methodist (no disrespect) in this geographical area which is why I often chose sermons on-line or on TV to worship.

I am glad that you attend and hope you find peace. Xx
 
Thank you @Recovery4Me . It also helps me understand better.

Well, you know, wherever I go- there I will always be, so maybe the problem is me. Perhaps accepting it and avoiding is the better route.

It's so funny you say- because I can probably describe the literal brick and mortar everywhere I've gone. :)

Being LGBTQ for me, presented several quagmires in fitting in among some churches if I was to be authentic. There is finally tolerance within some buildings or church denominations which allow membership

^^ Anyone who treats you (or anyone else) 'less-than' is criticizing God's handiwork and yes-a perfectly created person- and that is disgraceful treatment. If there's any tolerance necessary it's from you tolerating or forgiving them. :(

A person from church once asked me if it was 'ok' with me that they are gay- I said why would it possibly not be?? Were they ok I am straight? :confused:

If it were me on someone's behalf, I would say, "You're not gay? I'm so sorry, you poor dear, try not to be sad. Better luck next time!" ;)

Or I'd do the Christian thing and punch their lights out, ** lol. Oh- sorry- that's the Irish-Catholic thing.. :sneaky: :D :whistling: :p
(Sigh. If wishes were horses beggars would ride.:hug::hug::hug:)

Love @Recovery4Me from 'Mick'. ;):) :inlove::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:
(It's actually one of my nicknames. Truly. :))

** outside the Church, of course ;) :)
 
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:roflmao::roflmao: Thank you dear! I attempted to support you and yet I was graced with much love and support.:hug::hug:

Oh... insofar as your nickname it is precious.:hug: But in my neighborhood, (my Irish friends) when I grew up, would have kicked someone’s butt if anyone used that coin in reference. Perhaps it was because so many during the migration through Ellis Island had their sur names altered on the ship manifesto or down the road for various reasons. Anyway that is what they said to me.:)

However, I do find you endearing ‘Mick’ and fully respect your spiritually journey and heritage.:hug::hug::tup:
 
I love this https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1IAhDGYlpqY . Let me know what your thoughts are on it

I loved this and this is how I believe too. Thank you so much for sharing this here.

@Junebug .......

I do not go to a church because I was so branded and traumatized in it by the leadership. I have tried to find another but my higher power prefers me to stay away from them so far, I am biased against most churches and have not been able to find what I was looking for. Maybe someday, but not now.

I wish you luck in finding what you are looking for. Thank you for this thread.:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:
 
I rarely go to Church these days perhaps because I tried a whole lot and found myself disconnected. There were lot's of reason's why I discontinued but I did go several time's to each to make sure it wasn't a incorrect 'first impression' problem.

However I do consider myself to be quite religious and try to keep my relationship with God personal and present in my life by reading, listening to probably fairly traditional church songs of praise.

I think I got over cooked with religion when I was a child but even despite this, I am grateful for the grounding I did get. It has helped me many, many time's in my life, particularly with work. I have often found myself sending someone a silent prayer when I see that it is beyond my abilities to change their circumstance. I also quietly ask God to help me when I am sure I am having a HELL of a day!

I think most of all, it is my Belief that holds me here despite the chaos and uncertainty in just about everywhere I turn. It's not that I have a hotline to God all by myself. I have complete respect for everyone coming to terms with their own view's on religion and if it does or does not fit into their live's.

I am not convinced that 'going to a particular place of worship' to demonstrate one's devotion is particularly compelling as to whether you are religious, religious enough, worshipping the right religion even.etc., (The list is very long). I know a lot of people get a sense of community and fellowship from congregating in numbers. Maybe that is where I am really missing a lot. I don't know.

I cannot cope with a lot of people and noise around me (read PTSD) & another disability so for me it's not where one worship's but why one worship's. A quiet commune with God while walking can be very healing and be just as, if not more precious as the whole ceremonial church setting. I think prayer groups are another or alternative place of worship.

If I am really serious in what religion I am the most...I don't think I fit any one single Theological ideal perfectly. I don't really think anyone does or if they do, possibly there is a inner struggle going on at times. Maybe I am just different in this respect too.


Have I gone OT here?
 
I'm a devout Christian. I grew up in a semi-religious family and was taught the principles of Christianity, but my parents weren't very active in the church. Later, in my late 20's, I gradually got more and more interested in actually practising my faith. Nowadays I attend Mass (or Lord's supper as we Lutherans would perhaps say... or the holy Eucharist, or or... whatever) every Sunday.

I live in a country where Lutheranism is by far the main denomination. Almost 80% of the population belong to the Lutheran church. Which makes it interesting since only maybe 30-40% of the folks here actually believe in the Christian God. So, our slowly dying church is trying to hold on to the tax-payers (the church has taxation as its main income...) by becoming less and less religious. Which I, quite frankly, find ridiculous. I would love to be part of a religious community. But, for the time being, this church can't satisfy my spiritual needs. So, I look for and find nourishment in the books by Jesuits and other mainly Catholic thinkers.

I'm researching the possibility of joining the Anglican community. To me it seems like the perfect combination of high church -type liturgical life and open-minded ethics re LGBT issues. Of course, that's the case only in certain parts of the vast community. But anyways, I hope the Anglican church might be more of a spiritual community than the one I was born and raised in. I really need a community to support me and keep me company in my spiritual journey. I know there are plenty of people that are perfectly happy in their own, solitary spiritual lives, but that's just not the case with me.
 
Thank you everyone I hope I can find some words that make sense. I really appreciate the help. :notworthy: :hug:

But in my neighborhood, (my Irish friends) when I grew up, would have kicked someone’s butt

Oh yes @Recovery4Me , but if I can't laugh at myself Idk what, since I always have plenty of material to work with. ;):p FWIW, I'd never use such a term for anyone else, and I have other than Irish in me, tho they were the more peaceful Galway types, I think too busy surviving to need to be fighting. Tho I think my DNA/RNA Helix is shaped like a shamrock..

Thank you. :hug::hug:

I have tried to find another but my higher power prefers me to stay away from them so far.. Thank you for this thread

Thank you too - always- @Rain . Well that's the funny thing, I heard it confirmed today it doesn't matter where we are or what we believe, exactly. Though I am left more confused.

For me, I don't think it's been a question of 'who' or 'what' I 'belong' to, I'm not sure I know what 'belonging' means. But, I did see the word 'Believe' a few times, and I think what each of us believes is unique, and probably good for each of us.

I have often found myself sending someone a silent prayer when I see that it is beyond my abilities to change their circumstance. I also quietly ask God to help me when I am sure I am having a HELL of a day!

Me too, @blackemerald1 , and much of your post resonates with me.

Have I gone OT here?

Not at all, it's exactly what I meant. Not 'religion shopping', but if or where if at all, do I belong, and how does (if it does) ptsd interplay in that. You've helped me find words, thank you (and everyone).

Somehow I've lost quotes, so I'll continue below!
 
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Music and kindness are my religions and nature

Nothing amiss with that @Tornadic Thoughts - people, animals, senses, beauty, the world- the 'whole' 'church' as it were; a very deep expression off gratitude and life, I'd say. Awesome. Thank you.

I know there are plenty of people that are perfectly happy in their own, solitary spiritual lives, but that's just not the case with me.

Me neither, but probably for different reasons . That is, Idk if I feel connected, but I definitely feel a church-within-myself is not 'me', in the way I would not be a person capable of 'providing' whatever comes from attending 'from' my own self.

The funny thing is, I do think ptsd plays a part, in so far as I cannot 'hack' some things, crowds and triggers, and I am so exhausted. I only know going today, it seems to enable me to leave and 'live', in so far as for eg, I did a bit of Christmas shopping, sent a couple of texts, dealt with something at work, actually turned down an extra shift (treated myself far better, despite myself). I think it contributes to a moment of laying my burdens down, and the emotions that go with it. (Because 2 hours of sleep between shifts, bedbugs and very difficult- couple of always angry clients, plus the work, is something I'd still not turn down).

Idk. There was only one thing I didn't understand, I think they said, 'none of us have gone hungry'-?, -but surely they must have said or meant 'starved'? Because I surely can't comprehend the suffering of that. :( :cry: But gone hungry, of course. But, it's important to me to be honest with myself, and that said I'd never go to a foodbank, tho I would for children/ others. But doing without sometimes, though even then I've never gone longer than 7 or 8 days with nothing at all, I know where to more likely find thrown out food, and since a teen only ate one meal/ day. But, again tbh when I smoked if I had enough for either/ or, smokes would win. Because they gave me energy and helped me focus, plus didn't add withdrawl. Part neurotypical, part addiction.

And in that way, there's so much talk of longing and such, I don't think I'm there. I mean, for me 'God' is sort of 'inside-out', like saying God is my essence ( the reason I'm literally still breathing), but also 'within' or 'a part of me' (like saying, how do you separate your blood from your body, or red blood cells from white?, it can't happen). But also, a lot of these things people take for granted I'm not there yet. Like, I know God loves everyone the same regardless, but I don't feel in the category of 'lovable'.

So I'm not looking for community, or validation, or -Idk?- things people seem to rightfully want/ need. I'm looking more for an internal way to 'drop', a 'room at the inn'- or even stable, where it's safe enough to drop my guard. I for a long time found it at good churches, and with communion (the Eucharist, as @Freemartin refered), where perhaps even despite myself I could leave and get through, sometimes with more hope , tho both of those last words may not be the correct ones, peace of sorts, strength to continue, and to ideally- be joyful- but definitely not ungrateful or out of touch. (Try to not let the past or present make me b*tchy or hateful or bitter, and not drop to where I once was, the suicide attempts, etc.)

I don't expect miracles. Even the religion I have practiced, the 'Anointing of the Sick' they have (for physical and mental illness , addiction, surgery, pre-death), it's my understanding it's to help with acceptance of suffering and whatever follows, including death if that's the case, with strength and grace. But then again, I don't know much, even that might be wrong.

Hope that makes sense. Much gratitude to everyone , xox. :hug:
 
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Oh gosh I realized I didn't say- so somewhere the thoughts came together; like food, there is starvation (epic suffering, and a travesty ), vs just need; to be grateful; needs vs wants- some food/ no food; freedom and so fortunate to be able to have or get food; makes it a lot harder if you can't ask (foodbank); but sometimes you can't (ptsd); what parts of one's life are necessary, what are 'frills'.
 
I'm not sure, but I think we congregate around what we believe (in).

Of course, it's not just about taking, or receiving, but giving.

The people, in my experience, are pretty great, top down.

Though I know of things where people aren't supposed to be there. But for example, one helped me (I was a stranger) greatly with what he said 24 years ago- I always think, how can I judge?- or rather, I don't want to, it's not my business and life is strange.

But I suppose it leaves fear, fear that I'm present in an environment where things aren't what they appear, the cornerstone preceding many a trauma.

But most of all I am afraid. It's hard to white knuckle, or I can only do it for so long. Much present product ('me') of past, I suppose. The fear and tension/ dread/ what's coming down the pipe I always have felt the last 34 years. With a healthy measure of being absent is actually beneficial for everyone else.

I think the best bet is being totally anonymous/ not in any way known. I did that for years downtown, and funny, all of us- many there obviously had their own battles, much homelessness, etc, we were all good with it just like that. No fear of contaminating (can't think of another word?) others, no anything, really, 'friends-without-words', but yet safe enough to feel it a refuge/ peaceful.
 
Yes, I attend church, Methodist, actually. I joined it because they allowed me into the church with my PTSD Service Dog. I have since parted company with said dog, long story, but I still attend the church and have friends there.

I do have that personal relationship with God, yes, it is important. Prayer is the link between myself and God. I read the Bible, some books that have been given to me, or I heard about as interesting and so on. One that I have gotten a lot of "mileage" out of is EXPERIENCING GOD by the Blackabys. I like to read a devotion early in the day, and then pray. I pray throughout the day too. I pray for both myself and others, including folks that have given me a hard time of some sort. I pray for good things for them and a resolution to the problem(s) between us. God does not always answer "Yes." Sometimes His answer is "Wait." or "No." We cannot always have things our way.

I also joined the Methodist Church because everyone there (for the most part) was very welcoming and also the pastors have been really kind to me, one of them even taught me how to manage my money so as not to run out of it. (Also to balance my checkbook). I had been to another church that had not at all been welcoming, so this was a breath of fresh air by comparison!

The church has helped me out financially a couple of times too, like when I was ordered to group therapy after an involuntary visit to the mental ward. I did not have the money for transportation there, so the church paid it for me.

The pastor gave me her cell phone number and helps me out with problems sometimes too. Usually we discuss the spiritual aspects, but not always. Sometimes she just gives me common sense advice.
 
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