Undiagnosed Can Anyone Relate...please!

[crazygirl3000]

Hi. I have never written on a forum for ANYTHING before, so this is all very new to me. I am not sure if I am supposed to qualify or not, but....Four years ago I experienced an extremly traumatic event. I held my fiance in my arms as he died (quite violently) of a drug overdose. The wierd thing is, I thought I was fine! Well, I was totally traumatized at the moment (obviously) and didn't speak for almost ten days. I came close to being put into a psych ward, but my parents sent me to a recovery facility in Utah and the healing began. I left the facility one month later feeling better than ever. Still mourning, but not feeling any affects of the trauma. I would even think of the gorey details, amazed that it didn't seem to bother me. Four short months later i met another man (totally unintentionally) and we were married one year ago (three years after the event). I delt with the guilt, but still felt quite strong and sane. About six months ago I decided to get off my meds, in order to begin thinking about starting a family. Feeling great and proud of myself I went along my life. Meanwhile, the man I married is in the military and has deployed to Iraq twice and may be on his way to Afghanistan! None the less, I was going about my life and one day (two months med free) I felt kind of dizzy and out of sorts.

I chalked it up to not eating or drinking enough water and had a big dinner going to bed. The next day, the same. The feeling has persisted for three months!! I have been to the MD, Chiropractor, Neurologist, and the end result is....it seems to be anxiety! The only thing that made it feel better is a stiff drink or ativan. My Phsychiatrist believes that it is a Physical symptom of the PTSD, and I am only NOW starting to feel it?! Can anyone relate to this kind of delayed reaction to trauma and this type of physical symptom. Please help. Although I know the ativan helps, I cannot take it daily if I want to conceive a baby. I started the lexapro again aswell, but 10mg doesn't seem to be putting a dent in this. And there is a part of me that doesn't buy any of this and thinks something is seriously physically wrong with me! Maybe if there are others out there that have experienced this sensation, as well, I might have an easier time believing it. I am not anxious in my life (consiously), but memories keep flooding back. I hear the 911 operators voice. I see...well, the gore and blood and I have a difficult time controlling the thoughts. I guess I have written too much already. I REALLY hope someone responds to this. Sorry for going on and on and on.....(no spell check, sorry)

 

[2quilt]

Welcome to this wonderful forum!

 

[Tinyflame]

Welcome to the Forum. :hello:

I hope you find answers and guidance and peace here.
There is a load of great information and great people!

 

[dust]

Hi Welcome,

not exactly the same experience, but lots of people here are dealing with traumas from many years ago. Hope you find something to help you here.

dust

 

[morgan]

Hi Welcome to the forum. I related you. It is called delayed onset. you are not alone.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Welcome to the forum....Trauma is different for everyone, some feel the effects right away, and others it takes months to years.

I hope that you find what you need here, there is a ton of information.

 

[lsully]

What you feel is real and your not alone, welcome.:smile:

 

[Jestadud]

Hello crazygirl3000

Don't know if this helps but I was diagnosed by a GP as having Meniere's disease, which when I discovered a couple of years later you're not allowed to drive if you have, got reassesed as meneire's syndrome.
Meniere's consist's of dizzyness, nausea and noise in the ear.
Basically it's like a bad hangover or maybe like concussion, it feel's like if you don't lay down you might fall down or at least be sick.
Since having been dealing with stress problem's I'm becoming more inclined to think it's stress related, but it's a little bit too soon for me to be sure.
Be careful of the alcohol, for me it seemed you could think more clearly while having a drink and the next day you had a reason for feeling for feeling out of sort's, which seemed better than feeling like that for no clear reason.

Take care
Jesta

 

[midi]

Hey welcome! You'll find a lot of help here (as you can already read)!

 

[Leda]

Hello - and welcome to the forum.
It is not uncommon that trauma effects can occur days, months and even years after th traumatic episode. I hop you can find some help her - and that you also have a support system in RL.

 

[Perdido]

I definitely can relate, at least to the way the traumatic memories creep into everyday life.

It's the same for me, just a different traumatic event. The blood, the blast of the gun, the sirens of emergency vehicles, and I, too, have played back over and over the voice of the 911 operator.

I'm new here, too, and have much ground to gain in terms of beating PTSD. Twenty years have passed since the day my friend died in my kitchen.

Good luck to you ... talking with others who can relate can only do you some good.

 

[sallysellsseashells]

cr3000

crazygirl3000,

I can't relate to the particular experiences leading up to the PTSD, but I do relate to delayed onset of symptoms (and some of the symptoms themselves). In fact, whenever something traumatic has happened to me (usually) I have found myself to cope as if it did not happen for some time, before the memories flood the mind gates, and overflow into my life... It is hard to deal with... try not to use alcohol... If you must use some form of sedative get it from a Doctor and make sure they know you well before accepting it (because some medicines can actually make you sick if they're not right for you or the problem). Also, it does sound like anxiety. I'm not a Doctor, but I know what anxiety is from experience as a PTSD 'sufferer'.

Are you sure right now is the time for having a baby? (If so, please don’t drink during this time). It is completely up to you and your partner, and not for anyone else to determine. If you seriously want a baby though, and you want the best chances of survival for the baby (and your mental health), now may not be the right time. Talk to your Doctor. If they suggest staying on the meds, for compelling reasons... I would consider them.

Many women lose their babies during pregnancy under regular levels of stress, but the kind of stress you describe: how will you cope? You need measures in place to keep yourself sane (which you are in case you were wondering). Your post reads as though you have a sense of urgency about this? Is this accurate? I hope you are feeling well today, and that matters improve for you shortly. I do hope you can follow through with your plans to have a new addition to the family, just please take it easy, be careful with yourself not to take on too much, and do be well. Okay?

Sincerely,
S.