Can flashbacks mix with something/someone happening now?

[KRS]

I just had something happen for the first time (I think). I don't want to give too much detail, but I "saw" my new husband doing something that really bothered me due to my past abusive marriage. However, he and others there at the time say what I saw didn't happen. Later that night I woke from nightmares of what I assume was the actual even...my ex doing the actual that I "saw" along with everything that followed. Is it possible that I had a flashback that mixed people in my life now in with an event that happened 20 years ago? Causing me to "relive" it, but as if my now husband was doing it? Maybe it's mixing a flashback with my anxiety/fear that it could happen in my new marriage? Even though new hubby is completely different and does not deserve that. Feeling like I'm going crazy :(

 

[Ronin]

That's kind of a definition of a flashback.

Being it's literal reliving of any aspect of the trauma.
You're not going crazy. It's what flashbacks do. It's a bit of a mindf*ck, but can be gotten through :)

 

[sleepingwolf]

Thanks for sharing about this difficult situation. I would say most certainly things now trigger flashbacks, as that on the whole is how they work for me. But I'm not sure if you are wondering what you 'saw' in reality, the now, was exactly like a flashback? Something obviously happened, enough for you to dream about it too, so a part of you is reminding/warning you. But, perhaps what you saw/experienced with your new partner was more of a trigger than an actual event?

I'll give an example:

My partner and I are having an argument over something, it gets more heated, they have a pencil in their hand (as they were doing work at the time), and their hand (with pencil) is raised up. This triggers a flashback to previous abuse, as a part of me perceives it as a weapon and I am in danger. But in reality, the now, perhaps they wouldn't even notice they had it in their hand, and the situation was just a normal argument. But for me, I'm in full flashback and could accidentally think my partner is now dangerous.

I hope that helps!

 

[AliciaEff]

My flashbacks are often like that. Generally what happens to me is that something my partner does, no matter how inconsequential, can remind me of what my abuser did. It’s not always exactly the same, so I do end up questioning what is real and what is not.

I think the important thing is to tell yourself that it’s okay for you to see something that others say didn’t happen and it’s okay that it feels real to you. It doesn’t mean you are wrong or delusional. People’s brains are always manipulating sensory information. For example, one’s nose is generally in their line of sight, but your brain chooses to ignore it so you can focus on other things. Your brain is sort of doing the same thing.

Now, if you think your husband did something that is harmful to you, and he says that he never did it, that issue may not be eased by my previous explanation. I hope these responses have been helpful to you.

You are not alone. Take care