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Deleted member 28403
Well, the problem is simple. Quite simple.
I had a month away from parents, my main current stressor, as the main trauma is years behind (the earliest I remember nearly full 8 years, and the last stuff a couple years). I spent the month on an island, with my gf and her parents, where I could normalize, and of course, about every night, I slept with her (my gf), slept really well, the best sleep in a while.
And yep, I had some rest (from them), during that time I could concentrate on learning, and did a huge amount of work in physics, math, bio and chemistry, also programming and similar. Had a huge power surge, but now, I'm back home, been a few days. And I've just been getting worse, I began stress-eating again, and really haven't had one night of sleep. The last I slept was yesterday (or so, lost in time). I went over to her house, after about 2 nights of not sleeping, and after about 10 minutes, fell asleep on her bed, and she joined me. I slept for like, 8 hours then and rested. But yeah, now, last night again, no sleep, been awake since I woke up at her house. And now it's another night, still no sleep. I don't really know what to do, and I miss her (it's been like, 4 since I saw her, it's 1 AM now).
And yeah, I began overeating again, I mean, I've been trying to keep at eating only when I'm hungry, like, actually hungry, not feeling empty and depressed. I ate a load tonight, so I guess I will try to train and not really eat tommorow to balance out. I would feel really shitty if I gained 10kg again, it took me like, a month, to get rid of them, and led to me falling into shittyness again.
Feeling shitty about that.
And the situation at home isn't getting any better, I can't believe I'm saying this but I can't wait for school to begin, then I will spend 16 or more hours not at home, and hopefully near zero talking to my parents (going to school and stuff at or before 6 AM, coming home at 10 PM, or sleeping over at gf's house). And 3 more years like that... Then I can finally move out of this damn house, and this damn city full of people I don't want to remember...
I had a month away from parents, my main current stressor, as the main trauma is years behind (the earliest I remember nearly full 8 years, and the last stuff a couple years). I spent the month on an island, with my gf and her parents, where I could normalize, and of course, about every night, I slept with her (my gf), slept really well, the best sleep in a while.
And yep, I had some rest (from them), during that time I could concentrate on learning, and did a huge amount of work in physics, math, bio and chemistry, also programming and similar. Had a huge power surge, but now, I'm back home, been a few days. And I've just been getting worse, I began stress-eating again, and really haven't had one night of sleep. The last I slept was yesterday (or so, lost in time). I went over to her house, after about 2 nights of not sleeping, and after about 10 minutes, fell asleep on her bed, and she joined me. I slept for like, 8 hours then and rested. But yeah, now, last night again, no sleep, been awake since I woke up at her house. And now it's another night, still no sleep. I don't really know what to do, and I miss her (it's been like, 4 since I saw her, it's 1 AM now).
And yeah, I began overeating again, I mean, I've been trying to keep at eating only when I'm hungry, like, actually hungry, not feeling empty and depressed. I ate a load tonight, so I guess I will try to train and not really eat tommorow to balance out. I would feel really shitty if I gained 10kg again, it took me like, a month, to get rid of them, and led to me falling into shittyness again.
Feeling shitty about that.
And the situation at home isn't getting any better, I can't believe I'm saying this but I can't wait for school to begin, then I will spend 16 or more hours not at home, and hopefully near zero talking to my parents (going to school and stuff at or before 6 AM, coming home at 10 PM, or sleeping over at gf's house). And 3 more years like that... Then I can finally move out of this damn house, and this damn city full of people I don't want to remember...
