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Caregiver Burnout

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Changing4Best

MyPTSD Pro
I've been a caregiver for several years now. I have had about five clients throughout this time. All of them have had Dementia. My husband, mother and father all had it too.

My most recent client just reached the point where she no longer recognizes me. This, in a way, feels like she has died. I never realized how much this would affect me, but it really does in a very real way.

My previous clients did not really reach this point in the progress of their decline. I came into their care either before this point or after it. So this is new to me. Frankly, I'm kind of in a state of shock.

So, I'm taking a leave of absence while I get some therapy and much needed rest.

Feel free to join in on this discussion if you are a caregiver, have been diagnosed with Dementia, or are a family member of one. Or even if you are just curious or interested. All are welcome.
 
I've been a caregiver for several years now. I have had about five clients throughout this time. All of them have had Dementia. My husband, mother and father all had it too.

My most recent client just reached the point where she no longer recognizes me. This, in a way, feels like she has died. I never realized how much this would affect me, but it really does in a very real way.

My previous clients did not really reach this point in the progress of their decline. I came into their care either before this point or after it. So this is new to me. Frankly, I'm kind of in a state of shock.

So, I'm taking a leave of absence while I get some therapy and much needed rest.

Feel free to join in on this discussion if you are a caregiver, have been diagnosed with Dementia, or are a family member of one. Or even if you are just curious or interested. All are welcome.
Bless your heart for the work you do and kudos for recognizing what you needed to do! That can be really hard. When my dad had dementia and I was his caretaker, he didn't remember me. It was achingly hard, but knowing he was not being neglected like the place did where we pulled him out of, carried me through until my sister took over and then, finally a WONDERFUL care home was found for him before his passing.

I have been saying for years now that I need to switch from being a caretaker to something like working in a factory or ice cream shop. While I will always care a great deal about the Autistic kids I help, the yelling between their parents, their siblings, to myself, or the yelling they do while in a meltdown even not directed at anyone...it really effects my nervous system now like never before. Leaves my nerves feeling like they are stabbing beneath my skin the whole day at work after a yelling match. Lately I'm crying too often at work and if it wasn't for the fact that their parents cannot find anyone else to help them, I would leave already. Luckily I have moments where I can hide the tears, from all except one child who knows me too well. He heard me simply sniffling from upstairs and I hear "Are you OKAYYYYY??" So then I put on actor mode, and a big smile to reassure them.

It would be great if it was a requirement for there to always be a backup on hand for us care takers, so we could just let our bosses know asap when we need a time out to bring someone else off the bench for us.
 
Bless your heart for the work you do and kudos for recognizing what you needed to do! That can be really hard. When my dad had dementia and I was his caretaker, he didn't remember me. It was achingly hard, but knowing he was not being neglected like the place did where we pulled him out of, carried me through until my sister took over and then, finally a WONDERFUL care home was found for him before his passing.

I have been saying for years now that I need to switch from being a caretaker to something like working in a factory or ice cream shop. While I will always care a great deal about the Autistic kids I help, the yelling between their parents, their siblings, to myself, or the yelling they do while in a meltdown even not directed at anyone...it really effects my nervous system now like never before. Leaves my nerves feeling like they are stabbing beneath my skin the whole day at work after a yelling match. Lately I'm crying too often at work and if it wasn't for the fact that their parents cannot find anyone else to help them, I would leave already. Luckily I have moments where I can hide the tears, from all except one child who knows me too well. He heard me simply sniffling from upstairs and I hear "Are you OKAYYYYY??" So then I put on actor mode, and a big smile to reassure them.

It would be great if it was a requirement for there to always be a backup on hand for us care takers, so we could just let our bosses know asap when we need a time out to bring someone else off the bench for us.
It's just like my client, I feel for her because she is alone. But I must take care of me. My life was falling apart. It still is to some degree. She called me last night. It was hard not to answer, but I knew what she would say.
 
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