Depersonalization, PTSD and burnout

[Hope2]

PTSD, Burnout and depersonalization

I’ve had traumas for 18 years ago, both physical and psychological along with fatigue. It made me suicidal a depressed, anxious etc…

A little over 6 years ago I was tapering out both cymbalta and lyrica that I had at that time but crashed so hard. After that I haven’t been able to feel myself, my body, super hard to feel emotions for things I’ve always could before despite my condition. Imagine and fantasy is not functioning. I feel as I’m in a dream, like I’m a stranger to myself and my surrounding. I hear myself talk but doesn’t feel like me, very strange. When I read about depersonalization today it’s sounds just like it. And on top of it all I’ve a heavy brain fatigue which isn’t gets so much better. Hard time to socialize, read, shopping groceries, my brain is just mush in 1000 pieces, everything I do is affected by it.

The last crash feels like it erased all the last things I had a positive familiar connection to, and it’s almost 7 years ago. It has been little better but not much and sometimes it’s like back to start.

I just wonder how do I get better from this. PTSD on its own is hard, add the depersonalization and then brain fatigue, which in its own is very crippling for all people who experience it. I’ve always had hope in God, treatments, medications etc but after the last crash I lost it all. I don’t function in any situation and I’m just living for my mother, sisters and their children because I don’t want them to suffer if I take my life. I’m not saying I’m suicidal now but I’ve just lost hope is it possible to come out of this depersonalization and improve the brain fatigue while having PTSD, it seems impossible?

I live in a small place with great distance to bigger city so the therapy is very limited but I got contact with a therapist in the closest city that offers EMDR, and some trauma treatment. I’ll speak more to her after the summer.

 

[arfie]

hello hope. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.

I’ve just lost hope is it possible to come out of this depersonalization and improve the brain fatigue while having PTSD, it seems impossible?

in my just-a-patient understanding, the depersonalization and brain fatigue are symptoms of the ptsd. in my own case, both started as coping mechanisms and grew into destructive habits. as the ptsd heals, the symptoms ease. personally, i still struggle with both habits --and a host of other symptoms-- but i manage them with the radical acceptance and mindfulness i learned in my "acceptance and commitment therapy." i'd still prefer a CURE, but my psychotherapy tools work when i work them.

but that is me and every healing journey is unique.

steadying support while you find what works for you. welcome aboard.

for what it's worth
with my 20-20 hindsight glasses, i wonder more and more if the too many times i have lost hope on my long and winding recovery road have been the times i was placing my hope in unrealistic places. just wondering. . .

 

[Hope2]

Thank you so much for sharing and commenting. It felt good to join this forum and to reach out. It wasn’t until two years ago I understood I carried a lot of traumas after I read Body keeps the score, but always knew my problems sat deep and nothing else really worked.

I’ll actually start a rehab program 8 weeks for the physical and pain part and I know they teach ACT acceptance and commitment therapy in the rehab course among everything else. Even if I’ve tried a lot during the years I hope to get something useful on my healing journey.

After the program has ended my plan is to contact a therapist to start working with trauma treatment etc, which I haven’t done before.

 

[Paul007]

Thank you so much for sharing and commenting. It felt good to join this forum and to reach out. It wasn’t until two years ago I understood I carried a lot of traumas after I read Body keeps the score, but always knew my problems sat deep and nothing else really worked.

I’ll actually start a rehab program 8 weeks for the physical and pain part and I know they teach ACT acceptance and commitment therapy in the rehab course among everything else. Even if I’ve tried a lot during the years I hope to get something useful on my healing journey.

After the program has ended my plan is to contact a therapist to start working with trauma treatment etc, which I haven’t done before.

I’m in the same situation and I know the feelings of trauma and pain and both mental and physical pain and emotions it’s hard but I’m glad you got on here

 

[Hope2]

I’m in the same situation and I know the feelings of trauma and pain and both mental and physical pain and emotions it’s hard but I’m glad you got on here

Thank you! Have you had any success with it, if so do you mind sharing what has been helpful?

 

[Paul007]

Thank you! Have you had any success with it, if so do you mind sharing what has been helpful?

Thanks for responding and the advice I’d give is stick to what you need in life and not what others think and eventually move you to where they think is best I have been in this situation and it has made me worse cause I’m not going on my path and I’m always thinking about what others need me to be doing that is no way to live and now I’m going through a new phase I’m getting a van for myself to convert to camper for a real life to see outside instead of just 4 walls and that’s when it is not moving forward it’s just going through day to day life held back from the outside and the world and I was always nervous and scared of what others might think and meeting people and going anywhere outside it was not good but I know this will get me focused on my life and my journey x

 

[Hope2]

That’s great tip thanks, I’ll absorb that. Good luck with everything on your healing journey.