I dissociate depersonalize and de realize sometimes it’s a relatively new thing that happens with my trauma. It started happening after I witnessed a violent crime that had previous trauma before that anyways now noticed myself zoning out I get afraid that I will have kind of like another episode of something like that go on. Most recently I keep on what I have is above so it’s just getting like insanely out of it like don’t even know what is real who is real? What is not real. Every time I think I’m dead or that I’m about to die. I don’t know it just keeps on getting built up in my head but now things are kind of coming back together in my life like some normal parts of my life are coming together and I’m terrified. It’s gonna happen again like while I’m at work or school, or if I make any close friends that it will kind of like ruin our friendship if it happens again, cause I’ve only ever had one friend that’s kind of made it through my dissociations . I don’t want I don’t know like any necessarily advice on this. I mean, if people have advice that’s fine too. We’re just looking for not being alone, with this. I keep on thinking if I can just manage it and ignore it that it won’t happen again because it used to happen. I guess I’m really hoping that work because things in my life are starting to work out better than they usually do and it’s like don’t disappoint anybody or go crazy working for a hospital. Just hope that I don’t have to go through anything like that again
Scared of dissociation depersonalization in the realization
- Thread starter Sodapop20
- Start date
arfie
MyPTSD Pro
hello sodapop. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.
my own ptsd started with recurring childhood trauma. guessing from my familiarity of adult onset is purely second-hand from siblings-in-healing, but seems to be a different flavor of ptsd, starting with the before and after. springing from the theory that dissociation is dissociation, whatever the herstory, i'll share my own experience with chronic dissociation.
but that is me and every case is unique.
steadying support while you sort your own case. welcome aboard.
my own ptsd started with recurring childhood trauma. guessing from my familiarity of adult onset is purely second-hand from siblings-in-healing, but seems to be a different flavor of ptsd, starting with the before and after. springing from the theory that dissociation is dissociation, whatever the herstory, i'll share my own experience with chronic dissociation.
how does one manage what they are ignoring, especially if there is an established pattern of recurrence with the phenom? dissociation is eminently manageable, but acceptance and observation are essential to my own management style. with mindful awareness i can catch the psychosis while it is still small enough that i can begin plying my management tools long before it escalates to hospitalization levels. with practice, i have developed the skill to get it managed before even my husband of 44 years notices it has reared it's ugly head yet again.
it helps me considerably to keep my expectations realistic. dissociation is a hard-wired part of our survival instinct. when used as nature intended, it can be a blessing. it does not become a curse until it is filtered through cultural conditioning and the denial of trauma. in my own case, i have experienced hospitalization levels of dissociation. with considerable help from my therapy support network, i reframed this worthy hope as, "WHEN it happens again, i will be better prepared than i was the last time." may i never experience catatonic dissociation again.
but that is me and every case is unique.
steadying support while you sort your own case. welcome aboard.
- Thread starter
- #3
Sorry about your recurring childhood trauma. Mine is from childhood as well. And late childhood start at about 15 or 16 through adulthood. I don’t think I can ingore it completely I guess it’s like I’m so focused on not letting myself dissociate to the point that I am needing to go to the hospital for safety reasons. Now I right when I feel it ingore the push to let it get worst and like really really really try to manage and cope. And that part is new for me. Derealization and depersonalization technically I can’t ignore into making Not happen obviously but it’s like I’m so afraid of feeling them again that I just like try to suppress the feeling
It just recently started to get hospitalization bad because I didn’t know what it was for so long that I would just like kind of sit through it and then just get like really anxious about it and be like why don’t I remember that but not tell anybody about it. Now that I can talk about it and understand what’s going on I have gone to the hospital a few times. Really focused on going to the hospital again right now. Trying everything I can do to cope and ignore which is probably not helpful to ignore before it gets to that point.
That’s a really good reframing. I got so like humiliated by this happening to me that I felt better knowing that I wasn’t alone so I appreciate you sharing your experiences also.
It just recently started to get hospitalization bad because I didn’t know what it was for so long that I would just like kind of sit through it and then just get like really anxious about it and be like why don’t I remember that but not tell anybody about it. Now that I can talk about it and understand what’s going on I have gone to the hospital a few times. Really focused on going to the hospital again right now. Trying everything I can do to cope and ignore which is probably not helpful to ignore before it gets to that point.
That’s a really good reframing. I got so like humiliated by this happening to me that I felt better knowing that I wasn’t alone so I appreciate you sharing your experiences also.
Similar threads
- Question
