Childbirth and disassociation?

[Rose White]

sensory overload likely

Yes! I couldn’t listen to music and if I recall correctly I only listened to that link I shared a short while and then said to turn it off. You are so right.

 

[Aprilshowers]

What is lamaze classes?

Back when I was birthing babies no one in our county would deliver a baby by natural childbirth unless the mom went through Lamaze classes. It was mandatory - even for my 4th, and I had the hang of it by then. Mom and her "coach"(husband, partner, mom, best friend, whoever) attended 6 classes together, preferably no sooner than 8 weeks prior to birth. They are taught the stages of labor, breathing techniques, what to expect, helpful hints, given a tour of the labor and birthing facilities if delivering at the hospital, convinced you will only feel discomfort and not pain, etc. When women started getting spinals there wasn't a need for it any more. My daughters and daughter-in-law didn't use it. I taught the breathing techniques to my kids and coached them to use them through painful medical procedures throughout their childhood. Definitely helped!

 

[Roland]

Back when I was birthing babies no one in our county would deliver a baby by natural childbirth unless the mom went through Lamaze classes. It was mandatory - even for my 4th, and I had the hang of it by then. Mom and her "coach"(husband, partner, mom, best friend, whoever) attended 6 classes together, preferably no sooner than 8 weeks prior to birth. They are taught the stages of labor, breathing techniques, what to expect, helpful hints, given a tour of the labor and birthing facilities if delivering at the hospital, convinced you will only feel discomfort and not pain, etc. When women started getting spinals there wasn't a need for it any more. My daughters and daughter-in-law didn't use it. I taught the breathing techniques to my kids and coached them to use them through painful medical procedures throughout their childhood. Definitely helped!

Oh yes, I was recommended a child birth class but I decided to just do my own research instead.

 

[Friday]

That sounds interesting, for those of you suggesting music, you and @Friday what about sensory overload? With everything going on with your body, multiple people, etc is sensory overload likely? I mean everyone is different but I’m not sure about playing music

You won’t know until you do it.

For some people? Even someone else breathing in the room is enough for a full on sensory overload tantrum, and that’s before all the bodily smells, sounds, tastes, pain, etc. hit. (Not everyone gets hit by anything going on around them. Like throwing up in the worlds filthiest toilet, just leaning your head into the WONDERFUL cool cool porecelain hides the filth/stank/nasty. Until you feel better. And then it’s recoil-bleach-shower); they’re so focused on what’s going on with them, nothing outside registers until later.

For others, deliberate outside sensory info allows them to focus & distract from all the not fun, keeping them from a sensory overload meltdown.

My neighbors had some deep bass something or other that I ADORED (I could feel the vibrations through the walls, in theory each suite was soundproof, in practice they absolutely were not), but I nearly took someone’s cellphone (they’d decided to put on something “soothing” <rawr ragemonster> and threw it in the bath to make it shut up).

It’s a guessing game, until you’ve had at least a couple kids… and know how you “usually” are. But even then? Anyone with 3-5 kids will tell you they’ve had some wacky births! Totally outside their “norm”. 10+ kids? Get some reeeeeally hilarious stories.

Preparing yourself to be flexible & adaptable? Is the BEST advice I could ever give.

That, and perineal massage with oil &/or superlube, to avoid tearing.

***

IMO/IME a whoooooole lotta pressure is put on births & weddings. When, really? It’s the kid/marriage that’s important. This is one or three days of your life. That will suck. So making them suck less? Thumbs up! Good-Good! But the important part? Is what comes after. Get through the “this”. (And you will.) And get on with “that”. It’s like food poisoning, or the flu. Sucking less is great. But the Rest? Is what matters.

 

[Roland]

You won’t know until you do it.

For some people? Even someone else breathing in the room is enough for a full on sensory overload tantrum, and that’s before all the bodily smells, sounds, tastes, pain, etc. hit. (Not everyone gets hit by anything going on around them. Like throwing up in the worlds filthiest toilet, just leaning your head into the WONDERFUL cool cool porecelain hides the filth/stank/nasty. Until you feel better. And then it’s recoil-bleach-shower); they’re so focused on what’s going on with them, nothing outside registers until later.

For others, deliberate outside sensory info allows them to focus & distract from all the not fun, keeping them from a sensory overload meltdown.

My neighbors had some deep bass something or other that I ADORED (I could feel the vibrations through the walls, in theory each suite was soundproof, in practice they absolutely were not), but I nearly took someone’s cellphone (they’d decided to put on something “soothing” <rawr ragemonster> and threw it in the bath to make it shut up).

It’s a guessing game, until you’ve had at least a couple kids… and know how you “usually” are. But even then? Anyone with 3-5 kids will tell you they’ve had some wacky births! Totally outside their “norm”. 10+ kids? Get some reeeeeally hilarious stories.

Preparing yourself to be flexible & adaptable? Is the BEST advice I could ever give.

That, and perineal massage with oil &/or superlube, to avoid tearing.

***

IMO/IME a whoooooole lotta pressure is put on births & weddings. When, really? It’s the kid/marriage that’s important. This is one or three days of your life. That will suck. So making them suck less? Thumbs up! Good-Good! But the important part? Is what comes after. Get through the “this”. (And you will.) And get on with “that”. It’s like food poisoning, or the flu. Sucking less is great. But the Rest? Is what matters.

Thank you I so hear you on the wedding vs. marriage and labor vs. child thing, that’s my mindset too.