City Living

[seville]

Hi,

Okay, so just over a year ago I was attacked twice within a very short amount of time. I was extremely fortunate that I escaped serious harm each time, but the awareness of what could have happened and the attacks themselves left me traumatised. While I am over the worst of that now (after a few months the extreme anxiety of going outnseemed to go) I still experience some symptoms... is this normal?

I am a student, so I live between a city where I study, and I small town. I am hypervigilant here in the city - I am always on the lookout for someone who may attack me, even if its bright day light, busy etc. It's draining, I hate going outside here (though I am fine in my hometown). Is this normal? Has anyone else experienced this?

I feel expremely trapped here - I know I'm probably a bit irrational, but I a couple of months ago someone horrible was going around the area near where I live in the city attacking women in their twenties such as myself. I felt retraumatised, even though I didn't experience those attacks, and this has left me hypervigilant in my area ... I am constantly on the lookout for this man, who attacked women even in broad daylight - because I have been attacked, I can no longer tell myself 'stuff like this never happens'.

No one undertands me. My mother has been a great support, but I feel I am tiring her out with my constant worries. She doesn't get the mindset I have. And I can't explain to my friends, I think they'll think I'm crazy. I had councelling in the months after the original event, but didn't really help

Please, any thoughts? And advice? I can't wait to leave the city, but for now, I really do feel trapped and unable to get on with life. Its been over a year, I should be over this by now.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

You were traumatized. The life you once knew is different from now on. Your sense of safety has been dramatically altered. Your worries are normal for the pain you have endured. I think being here and talking about your experience will be very helpful. You are not crazy, you endured a crazymaking experience not once but twice. Now with more attacks going on, of course you are hypervigilant.

I'm sorry the couseling did'nt help you. You might do well with some anti-anxiety medications.

It is still fresh and ongoing. This is a big deal. You may want to be over it, but trauma is trauma. it happened and it happened to you. You don't have the buffer of denial, the thought that said stuff like this does'nt happen, Your fears are valid. considering what you have gone through.

Talking about it is a good start. I hope you have friends that are safe and trustworthy. Mabe give them a chance and share alittle with them and see how sensitive they are to you. I do not think they will think you are crazy. It sounds like you are being too hard on yourself. You are normal for what you went thru.