General Cognitive Therapy - What to Expect

[FallenAngel]

Hi all not posted for a while , but stuggling a bit at the moment so thought I would see if anyone careers or suffers can help me out a bit.
I care very much for a lovely guy who has PTSD, he is in Therapy and working really hard on it, I am very proud of what he is doing, when I think back to a year ago he has made great progress. He started Cognitive Therapy not long after Christmas, we had a brief discussion concerning it and he explained that things will get tough and he know they would get worse before they got better, ( while we talk sometimes, most of out communication is by text that seems to work as if he is dealing with something he can just reply when he feels able to, then when he is upto it we will talk on the phone ).
The reason I am posting today is because he is starting to withdraw from me again and while I have read what I can about this Therapy is doesn't really tell me much from a real life view point. What I want to understand as best I can, is what to expect? ( I know every one will react differently but any insight will help) He also has other family issues going on at the moment which I am pleased he felt able to tell me about so I don't think it is all the CBT, I just don't want to pressure him with questions yet I want to find out all I can so I dont make it worse.

Thanks Fallen :smile:

 

[fin]

Hi I dont know you very well Angel (I hope its alright to call you that) but I do know something a little of what you are asking and maybe from both sides, as I am PTSD also.

While I know the frustration you may be feeling at the moment, please understand and perhaps try to know that he is doing what he needs to right now. All any of us can do is what we are able to. If he is not up to giving more then you will have to try to accpet and understand that. He may well be able to explain better and more in the future, or things may not change.

Be kinder to yourself is about the only advice I can offer you at this moment in time, take care of what your needs are, when he is able to he will come to you and open more of himself I am sure. But he needs to do that and no one else can make him, if they were to try resentment may follow and that I believe would harm you more than help you.

I hope that this will shed some clearer light on some part of your problem, please know though that it is so very difficult living with pTSD and it takes a lot of work and courage to learn how to manage and begin to live again. I know it is for me anyway and that is where I am at on this right now.

Take care and I hope that things work out well and better for you

~fin


I think you are showing love and understanding from what you have written and this is quite a beautiful thing to be able to do, to be able to show for another person...we are all human afterall and we all have needs and yours are no less than his, please know that.

 

[FallenAngel]

Thank Fin for you kind words

I know I cant push him for more than he is able to give right now ( we are 12 months into this ) I have made that mistake before several times ! at the start, repeatedly asking questions, now i try and listen more and when he wants to talk i'm there for him. I'm sure I still get it wrong sometimes but hey I'm human....

I am very proud of him for what he has achieved so far.

 

[fin]

I have made that mistake before several times ! at the start, repeatedly asking questions, now i try and listen more and when he wants to talk i'm there for him. I'm sure I still get it wrong sometimes but hey I'm human....

I am very proud of him for what he has achieved so far.

This is me also Angel, and I am not a carer, I care though and for now for me this is all I can do. And we are all human, your guy is too, we all make mistakes, I believe it is what we can learn from them that will help us-I hope I am right in that anyway. I hope I screw up less also.

Be proud of him, it is good to be proud of our partners and friends when they do well, I know I am proud of my friend and I am trying to be proud also of myself.

We will all get there I hope -one day. All we can do for today is pace ourselves and try to manage this as best we can. And I think it is so very good for you to understand this of him-so be proud of you too. I am sure-well I hope he knows this. Be proud of yourself also. It can be lonely both sides of this PTSD.

:Hug_emoticon:
~fin

take care and have a great day~ you deserve one too~

I can never tell what to expect from cognitive behaioural therapy by the way- I dont know I ever answered your question-sorry about that, but I hope that this has helped you some. Talk about it, I believe that will help you, the carers section will have maybe more answers than I can or do have. And read, read as much as you can here it will help you, both of you to understand PTSD better from both sides. ~ :smile:

 

[wildflower]

Angel, thank you for sharing that post! My gf is in her withdrawal stage, and I pushed with questions yesterday! I did nothing but push her further away! Your post and the reply of others is giving me again a new found hope of happiness. I know this road is not going to be smooth, but rather paved with many speed bumps. However, reading post like this has helped keep me in perspective all day. Angel, I am new to this whole PTSD site, but sounds like your partner is very lucky to have someone like you.

 

[FallenAngel]

Hi Wildflower
I am sure you will find much help from this site, read and learn as much as you can, you are right there will be many bumps along the way, and many frustrations. I know I still get very frustrated and have to rein myself in a bit from trying to help and over caring too much........ This is their battle, we can only support them, when and if they want that support.

The person i care about had PTSD when we met, the syptoms have got worse as he is now facing this head on and going through some tough therapy, I don't know what the future holds but I do know I will always be there for him as long as he wants me to be.

Take care

 

[wildflower]

Angel, I agree with you about the not knowing what the future holds. I stated in an earlier post that, I take things day by day. But like you, I know I want my partner in my life and I am here when she wants or needs my support. The past few days have been better, but not by far where we were. However, this morning emotions were shown in laughter, which is always fabulous to hear! She even reached out and said she needed me to go to a Drs appt with her yesterday, and this was by far a great leap from 2 days prior. Your bf is very lucky to have such a wonderful support system within you.

I have to smile with you feeling as if you are over-caring. Sometimes I wish I could carry her burden, just so she could have a moment of peace and be at ease. Have a great day!