Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

[littleoc]

Jk it might have been the carpet itself not drying properly after a water spill?

I dunno, but I do know everything and everyone is getting washed within the next two days, this is dumb

 

[littleoc]

Nah, I just remembered that I have a severe mildew allergy

So it must be the carpet

Fixing it now

Not really too unlikely that Nestle would roll in it, as it was right by and slightly under her bed and also she loves rolling in gross stuff so who knows :P

 

[littleoc]

Are there any humans who don’t have a mildew allergy?

 

[littleoc]

I did a little research, and the CDC says yes, some people don’t display symptoms of mildew allergy in small or medium amounts, no data on large amounts. Usually that’s after floods, or incidents like farmers moving large hay piles that are infested with mildew. Pretty interesting

Most people have reactions to mildew tho

 

[littleoc]

Now my room smells like eucalyptus and mint

yaaaaay

 

[littleoc]

Still smells somewhat mildew-y so my mom bought me some carpet shampoo and I’ll be applying it after I have free time between this big huge project I have to do

And record myself for thirty minutes so hm

I promised myself I wouldn’t post again unless it was important and I don’t believe my smelly carpet is important but I’m too tired to write a long meaningful post right now

But I will say my twin bro and little bro moved out and I now technically have three rooms


One is very gross (long story) and the other is the cleanest room EVER so I’m going to make it my office I think.

Although I want to clean the gross one and make it into a bedroom. My mom, who can’t walk well, lives upstairs. She requested that but I’m very worried about her falling. Occasionally her legs just give out. The house is dangerous for her. And for EMTs who might need access if she breaks anything, because no, I will not drag her outside if she falls and can’t get up. Because her poor hip would probably hate that

So I need to get this house clean even if it’s not my responsibility

 

[littleoc]

I hope y’all are having safe nights. Sorry I complain here so much. I’m not usually certain what’s got into me, but since I almost never refer to myself in real life, this place has been great practice (slight exaggeration, I’ve gotten better about this but way back when I could tell people when I was worried about something so that’s cool, I wasn’t totally mute or anything)

Hell, my first post on here was about how to help Brandi in a strange situation. I almost failed to realize that I could get help for myself here

It’s nice to have a place to complain



Good news: my twin bro called me and wanted to chat. I tried to tell him about a new hearing aid but he says he prefers not hearing most people

Me too, dude, haha

And today, my mom was in the car with me and drank my sugary raspberry tea in five minutes (16fl oz) (473ish mL) while I was driving and I noticed and said, “Hey, be more careful, that’s a lot of sugar :c” to which she replied “well they shouldn’t make it taste goood >:c”

....me at age 58 years to be honest, haha

Although I like to think that I’ll be in not-denial enough to take all my life-sustaining medications. Diabetes no longer has to be a death sentence in first and second world countries

 

[ILoveLife]

I saw a very old lady two days ago, completely deformed in her legs due to diabetes. I don't really understand it, or why that happened, don't know diabetes well enough.
But she was eating chocolate mousse. :\

My grandma didn't take care of her diabetes either, it was a nightmare to get her to eat the proper foods.

I tried to tell him about a new hearing aid but he says he prefers not hearing most people

Me too, dude, haha

:laugh:

 

[Freida]

. Sorry I complain here so much. I

This is your diary - it's supposed to be your place to complain! You dont' have to write long posts -- just a chat is fine. And I LIKE reading about how you are tackling the challenges of your life and the disaster that is your moms life.

So -- a thought for the back of your head..... Are you enabling your mom by taking care of her and not letting her be responsible for her own behaviors? Co dependence maybe? Like the thing with the emts -- if they do have to come chances are high they will call the fire marshal -- who has the ability to condemn the house as "unlivable". That's not your responsibility to fix. That is her mental illness that she needs to fix. She's already shown that her health, (and yours and all other family members) is not important to her because of how her mental illness manifests. So you can't fix her. You can only fix the part of the house that you live in as an example to her.....

 

[LuckiLee]

Hi @littleoc , I've been thinking about your urge to steal and your shopping urges. I don't want these things to manifest into hoarding. It's a very fine line between collecting and hoarding. Keep an eye on it. Okay? XO

 

[littleoc]

I don't want these things to manifest into hoarding. It's a very fine line between collecting and hoarding. Keep an eye on it. Okay?

I will definitely do that! Thank you :)

When I was with Brandi I could just gift them away. Fungus would do the same thing, mostly because he doesn’t need anything but food. Weird, haha

She's already shown that her health, (and yours and all other family members) is not important to her because of how her mental illness manifests.

I think she tries to care. She says weird things about shows I shouldn’t watch and stuff like that. She’s in total denial about food though. Even buys me candy and then eats it D: But yes, I think I agree anyway with you

 

[LuckiLee]

You make me smile everyday. Thank you!!