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Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

She says hi better now lol
she is beautiful!
I'm yelling this at you too, btw.
@Freida is right. What happened to you was awful and you deserved none of it.
You are a very very good person.
I feel so thankful that we've crossed paths (even though I hate what brought us both here), because my life is so much better with littleoc in it :hug:
this^^^!!!
It was seriously a minor issue. I promise. :)
sure it was. :laugh: :hug:
 
So I thought my family was gonna come get me for food now, not later, so I put Dove-o to bed and ... there’s no where to sit and I’ve been waiting for like thirty minutes....

Good thing I have a back brace I guess. But kinda sucks that I can’t even sit on the couch.... only one accessible chair in the whole house.

Why not count the chair in my mom’s office? I used it to print forms yesterday. It’s dreadful. My back is hurting a lot from the weird angle I had turn to type a password... ninety degree angle :/
 
sure it was. :laugh::hug:
It really was though!! It was barely a flesh wound, lol. He literally just wanted some skin. It was WAAAY better than everything else!! He didn’t even try to keep a nipple or a limb. He kept a clothing article and a piece of skin, not even from my genitals directly. From what I’ve heard, I can rightfully count myself lucky!

I mean, it’s still haunting me, so it shouldn’t have happened, clearly, but in the grand scheme of shit I or other people have gone through, I’d call it a minor occurrence. Disturbing, for sure, though. Honestly I’m more worried about the clothes he kept than the skin. THAT was an insult to my self esteem and feelings of being a person and not a trophy prize or whatever.

this^^^!!!
Thank you :hug:

I’m glad we’ve crossed paths, too :):)

she is beautiful!
Thank you!!! I’ll tell her tomorrow, she’ll appreciate it :D
 
Okay, I’ve been trying to think up a good response for hours, so I’m just gonna be blunt... I’m REALLY surprised y’all find this so disturbing. o.O I’m almost sure you’re just reacting that way to be validating...? Or maybe close to home...? I hope that’s not sounding rude. I’m appreciating the sympathy, just am baffled by it.

It really was minor, though. It haunts me but it was the least of my problems at that point. The clothing gives me more nightmares than that. That was disturbing for me, and it does make me feel sick when I flashback to it, but it wasn’t the worst. Humans have mole-sized holes cut out by doctors, for example.

I have learned from the police who talked to me when I was 14 (three years after it ended) that some types of people like to keep trophies of kids or adults they kidnap and let go. Like a momento. It’s a normal occurance and messed up, but makes pretty good evidence.

I mean, he never got arrested, because of things, but if he had.

I do kind of wonder if he took his entire collection to China. I wonder if he brought them back, too. I’m still curious about why he felt confident enough to come back and ask me how I was doing. He probably wanted me to accept his apology. It was really bothering him.

I’m half convinced I saw him at the grocery store last week. I reminded myself that I’m still facial blind so I’d never know unless he spoke — and I wasn’t about to get that close with my dog next to me. No thank you.





Anyway, good night. I’m gonna quit thinking about all that mess. :) WISH ME LUCK ON MY DRIVERS TEST!!!!!
 
What would you think if I told you someone did that to my kiddo?
Wow - this.

Also, that's surgery. Without sterile instruments. Without a license. Without anesthesia. Without the consent of the person being operated on (you). Trust me, I know all about this. You easily could have died as much at that juncture as the rest of the abuse.

I'll be thinking about you today and hoping you get your license!
 

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