Columbine Survivor

[Yumeko-chan]

Yep, that would be me.

I'm Amanda, I'm 25 years old, and I have been dealing with PTSD for almost ten years now. Long time. If I hadn't known how long it had been and someone were to tell me it's been that long, I wouldn't believe them. I can just think about it and boom, I am 15 again and back reliving that day, back hiding in the library.

(Heck, not only do I still feel like a teen on the inside, I still LOOK like one too. I get mistaken for 14 or 16 on a regular basis.)

There have been a lot of horrible things that have happened in my life. The shooting was only the beginning of it. But I can certainly trace my current troubles to then.

I hope to learn a lot here.

 

[cragger65]

Welcome to you. I know what you mean, one traumatic event seems to attract/exacerbate further trauma. I think you will find this an incredibly helpful and welcoming place.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Welcome to the forum....

 

[kers]

Welcome to the forum. There are a lot of excellent people here to support you in your healing work.

 

[Grama-Herc]

Welcome to the forum. I have always wondered about the kids from your school and how they were handling the life changing event in their life.

I am curious, but do not want to intrude or cause any grief to you. I would very much like to begin a conversation with you once you are out of moderation.

I'm sure others would be interested also. We welcome you and look forward to being able to help you through this difficulty.

 

[ga yankee]

I was there as part of the media covering it. I can't tell you how sorry I am for the way we treated the event. The shooting changed my life and caused much of my PTSD. You have found a wonderful place where people understand and you'll have the support you need. Yes, when you're ready...we should talk.

Good luck to you.

 

[nic]

Welcome to the forum. I'm a teacher, and our school just implimented Rachel's Challenge in hopes to honor Rachel and other vicitims as well try and prevent future happenings. My best to you.

 

[Yumeko-chan]

From the way the media handles it, you'd think the kids who died and were injured were the only ones there that day. The non-injured survivors are never brought up at all, especially recently.

For a while after the shooting, you'd see the cafeteria survivors get attention. The kids who hid in the science hall, the ones in the math hall (although that hall was never in the line of fire). The library survivors? Ha! No one's ever paid attention to us. It annoyed me so much, and it still does. I don't think a lot of survivors (from any part of the school) really want to talk about it, and I'm pretty sure everyone else is sick of hearing about it. So I guess in that sense I am strange, because I want to tell everyone about it, to dispel the myths that are out there, although as a result I've had a few people on YouTube think I'm a poser, or worse, an attention whore. Oh well.

Although if I have one more person tell me "bless your heart" I think I'll scream :crazy:

 

[blue_eyed_angel]

Hi and Welcome to the forum :)

 

[morgan]

Welcome to the forum! We get it here. You've been through hell and are still surviving it. It takes time and effort but you can recover from this and live a fairly decent life. I wish you the best.

Take care, Morgan

 

[Mercy]

Welcome to the forum. I'm glad you have found this place. There are many kind and helpful people here as well as lots of info about PTSD. I get flashbacks too. For me, they are unpredictable but I am learning to change the way I deal with them when they are over.

 

[Joey Padula]

Morgan,

Welcome to the forum. I hope you find healing here. Know that you are never alone. I hope this forum provides you with the opportunity to learn and grow.

PS. I too look alot younger than my age, especially when im clean shaven people think im 15 and im 2.