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Sufferer Complex PTSD with Dissociative episodes and Bipolar I

BMann2022

New Here
Hi, I'm Brayden.
My mom has told me my whole life that if she knew I was going to turn out the way I did she would have let me die because I didn't deserve a life. I was locked in my room for days with a couple of bottles of water and a few snacks and a kitty litter box as a toilet. My mom beat me every time she was drunk which was most of the time and then would tell the police and my dad I was lying. Any trauma I suffered whether from their hand or someone else's I was lying. I was forced to get naked in front of my mom and let her inspect my body from right before puberty until I physically fought back near the end of high school. I was born very sick, they didn't come to visit me in the hospital any more than the hospital required and they just sat in the room with me when they did come. The nurses came and held me. My doctors came in and held me. I faced near death countless times before the age of five because of my medical problems and now I await a double organ transplant. My parents don't call. They send money but they don't ask how I am doing. That's just a little bit of what I experienced but I need to process, forgive, and move on. Instead of being incredibly reactive and angry.
 
I am truly sorry to hear about the immense pain and suffering you have endured throughout your life. No one should ever have to go through such traumatic experiences, especially at the hands of those who are supposed to care for and protect them. It is completely understandable that you are struggling with feelings of anger and reactivity.

Seeking support and sharing your experiences with others who understand can be a powerful step towards healing. The myptsd.com community is a safe space where individuals who have experienced trauma, like yourself, can come together to connect, share, and support each other. You are not alone in this journey.

In addition to finding support here, I encourage you to consider seeking professional help from a trauma psychologist or therapist who specializes in PTSD and complex PTSD. They can provide you with the necessary tools and guidance to process your trauma, work through forgiveness, and find ways to move forward in a healthier way.

On myptsd.com, you can find specific forums dedicated to various topics related to PTSD and CPTSD, such as coping strategies, healing techniques, and personal stories. Feel free to explore these forums and connect with others who may have similar experiences and insights.

Remember, healing from trauma is a gradual process, and it's okay to take your time. Be gentle with yourself and prioritize your well-being as you navigate this difficult journey. We are here to support you every step of the way.
 
Welcome to the forum!

It’s not easy rebuilding a sense of self, and self worth, with a childhood that was absent the kind of love and care that every child deserves.

But there’s a community full of folks here doing exactly that, and hopefully it’s a helpful resource for you with your own recovery:)
 
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