bravepoint
New Here
I have a male friend who I believe is in an emotional abusive relationship. He is in denial. But he has signs and some of the things he tells me she has done sound like crossing boundaries, lies and manipulation to get what she wants, and gaslighting. He has low self esteem.
Background, I have ptsd from something a long time ago. He has ptsd as well. He is someone I knew when I was young and is one of the few people who knows I have ptsd. One of the big things with crossing boundaries is she wanted to move to a different state. He didn't. He had a good job. She refused to work. She did work but quit. Where she wanted to move to was higher housing cost. She sent his resume in to a job there, pretending to be him and by email set up a time for that job to call him and didnt tell him. He found out about this when he got the phone call. She convinced him to at least interview. She promised if they move she would get a job.
He was offered the job. Less pay and housing was twice as expensive but he did it to "keep a happy home." He says he does lots of things he doesnt want to keep a happy which sounds like a red flag in itself. They moved. She never got a job. He struggled paying all the bills. They had no money for anything extra.
He was isolated from close family and no money to visit them. He was depressed and waiting to die. There are so many other things that he told me that are red flags but that is a big one.
Does this sound like abuse? My problem is I worry about him. My worry is aggravating my ptsd. I don't want to just walk away as a friend but I don't know what to do. He is currently pushing me away because I've been honest with him. He claims he made a bigger deal of things than they are and calls them snapshots. My understanding is that's also a red flag of someone who is abused. They make excuses and downplay the abuse. I don't want to walk away but this is making me feel depressed because I feel helpless.
Background, I have ptsd from something a long time ago. He has ptsd as well. He is someone I knew when I was young and is one of the few people who knows I have ptsd. One of the big things with crossing boundaries is she wanted to move to a different state. He didn't. He had a good job. She refused to work. She did work but quit. Where she wanted to move to was higher housing cost. She sent his resume in to a job there, pretending to be him and by email set up a time for that job to call him and didnt tell him. He found out about this when he got the phone call. She convinced him to at least interview. She promised if they move she would get a job.
He was offered the job. Less pay and housing was twice as expensive but he did it to "keep a happy home." He says he does lots of things he doesnt want to keep a happy which sounds like a red flag in itself. They moved. She never got a job. He struggled paying all the bills. They had no money for anything extra.
He was isolated from close family and no money to visit them. He was depressed and waiting to die. There are so many other things that he told me that are red flags but that is a big one.
Does this sound like abuse? My problem is I worry about him. My worry is aggravating my ptsd. I don't want to just walk away as a friend but I don't know what to do. He is currently pushing me away because I've been honest with him. He claims he made a bigger deal of things than they are and calls them snapshots. My understanding is that's also a red flag of someone who is abused. They make excuses and downplay the abuse. I don't want to walk away but this is making me feel depressed because I feel helpless.
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