Cptsd And Me

[moogie]

Hello.
I need to talk to someone right now.
Have served my country for many years.
Now i am back.
But what am i.
Have done awful things, being in the army.
I did my duty. Was given medals, for what i did.
Did not make me feel proud.
I can not find myself anymore.
I get so angry for no reason.
When i came home, people booed at me.
Was so proud to serve my country.
I feel so bad now.
Sorry my words are so broken.
God please forgive me.
I wan't to talk to someone right now, but do not know how to.
So sorry to post this here.

 

[intothelight]

Moogie,

I hope you found someone to talk to. As the wife of a veteran, all I can say is bless you.

Wishing you peace.

Debbie

 

[moogie]

Thank you for your reply Debbie.
Spoke to someone on here earlier.
They were so nice to me and did not judge.
Have tried the CPTSD forum, but says i need to sign up.
TY for comment.

 

[intothelight]

Hi Moogie,

The Combat forum is part of this, but separate. You just sign up like you did for this one. It is just more focused on the effects of PTSD for veterans and their families.

Take care.
Debbie

 

[NIKI]

Dear Moogie, Thank you so much for your services and keeping us all safe! It takes a special kind of person to do what you had to do. God Bless You!

Take care of yourself.

NIKI

 

[shadowchaser]

Don't worry Moogie. Even if some of us were never in the war we can understand what you are going threw right now. We may be on and off at times but we still care and want to listen.

 

[bob fawcett]

moogie, i have too done things that are so wrong they are inexplicable. I have done the worst of the worst for the wrong people. I have been used to do things normal humans cannot even think of. I came here as a last resort before I find a way to leave everything behind. you are not alone. I don't know if I am coming or going most days. I am soulless and lost and broken and not even considering any chance of a recovery. But I thought before I go I could maybe listen and try to help some others. Feel free to spill to me. Nothing you say can rock me..... Hope this helps.

 

[cat]

moogie

I am so sorry you feel so lost, finding the courage to talk about how you feel takes a lot of strength. Hang on to that strength, it will see you through this incredibly difficult time & will play a huge part in your recovery.

Bob

It's good you found this site, sharing how you feel is one of the keys to your recovery. You must consider a chance of recovery, 2yrs ago I didnt either, but I can tell you that with the right professional support recovery is possible for each one of us. Yes we can never go back to to how we were before trauma but i feel we become much stronger & more compassionate because of the insight into life that ptsd & recovery gives us.

To you both -

As you find your way through this very confusing & shattering time can i recommend some books to you (given to me by my psychologist) they have supported me so much. 'Waking the Tiger' by Peter Levine, this really helped me to understand the affect trauma has on us both physically & emotionally. 'Care of the Soul' by Thomas Moore - this book helped me to understand what my soul was & how to be kind to it.

Please take good care of yourselves, stay strong & try to understand that what happened was out of your control & while you keep fighting there is hope for recovery. There is always someone here to listen & try to understand how you are feeling, so keep talking.

 

[cat]

Hello.
I need to talk to someone right now.
Have served my country for many years.
Now i am back.
But what am i.
Have done awful things, being in the army.
I did my duty. Was given medals, for what i did.
Did not make me feel proud.
I can not find myself anymore.
I get so angry for no reason.
When i came home, people booed at me.
Was so proud to serve my country.
I feel so bad now.
Sorry my words are so broken.
God please forgive me.
I wan't to talk to someone right now, but do not know how to.
So sorry to post this here.

Moogie

I can only apologise for the lack of understanding & bad manners of those people who booed you, what do they know of the things you have seen & been expected to do. Please dont let these people and their small minds hamper your recovery, you deserve better than that.

 

[deer_in_headlights]

(((((((((((((Moogie)))))))))))), ((((((((((((Bob)))))))))))))))

I come from a military family, and am holding you in my heart.
With deep respect and care,
Deer

 

[WantToGetBetter]

Moogie, you were in unimaginable circumstances, in fear of your life. You had to do what you did to survive.

I have Marine friends. They are not the same. You have to come to terms with it. Unfortunately, it takes longer for some than for others.

It takes a lot of time. You are a changed man for life. But, Moogie, life goes on.

I am an optimist, but at the same time, I am a realist. You will have demons for life. You will need to learn how to confront them, and how to deal with them. They will come back. But you eventually grow a thick skin.

I highly recommend that you join a legion in your area, to become friends with fellow vets. It's a slow process, but you will overcome this.

Cheers Mate. May I ask, Semper Fi?