Date Being A Trigger?

[ellienad]

Without going into too much detail, I was retraumatized a few months back when I was in an experience similar to the original trauma I endured.

Through therapy and time passing in general, the flashbacks and nightmares from the recent event have subsided a bit and are more manageable. However, I've noticed that the times when they get much more intense and hard to manage is on the exact date every month (and a couple days after) that the recent retraumatization happened. I usually won't even realize the date until after the fact.

I'm just wondering if anyone else can relate to this? Is my mind really automatically remembering the date?

 

[franciemarnie]

Yes and I believe so.

For example, for decades, I would get extremely anxious from 5-7 p.m. and finally realized that's because those were the hours as a little girl I would get nervous anticipating my dad's arrival home each night. I would get nervous at ten p.m. because that was the time for bed as a kid. And so on.

I used to get very down every August and into September because my mother died in September.

I sound like a broken record lately saying this, but - the body remembers. It really does.

 

[Friday]

Yep. Anniversaries can really suck.

I used to say that I "had" a perky little case of PTSD back when, but now am totally fine except for a few souvenirs. (Like panic attacks & insomnia for 2-3 months a year, every year). It was just so much better than what I had been dealing with for several years I simply didn't care. They were manageable / didn't impact my life "at all".

So for 10 years my autumns were difficult. But I didn't care.

These days my life is in the blender, again. Wheeeeeee. One of the many many things that is making life fun are recirculating triggers. Anniversaries, days of the week, times of day. Also months, people, places, noises, sounds, scents. I'm stuck in a time machine. My body is here, but my insides are jumping around in flashbacks, panic attacks, anxiety, hopelessness, depression, anger. Thwibbt. It's a major pain.