I started dating a combat vet 4 months ago and he means the world to me. He made me feel in ways I’ve never felt for anyone. He’s made me feel safe and protected. We laugh the whole time we spend together. He’s become my best friend. I think I’ve fallen in love with him.
However, he mentioned very briefly when we were first dating that he has PTSD but it manifests in nightmares and sleepwalking. I didn’t think much of it because I thought it was controlled and he was going to therapy. Over time, I noticed more and more that he would randomly become unresponsive. Sometimes for days. I didn’t know that isolation was a symptom of PTSD until I did some digging. Before I knew it had something to do with PTSD, I would get really upset with him because I told him time and time again that ignoring me was the one thing I hated most. I’d rather him tell me something I didn’t want to hear than to be ignored. He assured me each time that he wasn’t ignoring me and he just got caught up with things and would pretend like nothing ever happened.
As our relationship deepened, the ignoring would get worse. During the week he would tell me how much I mean to him and no one makes him feel the way I do. In fact, one time I said he forgot about me and he said “don’t say that! I never forget about you, ever! You’re always on my mind. ALWAYS! I’ll be done with work in an hour.” After that text, I didn’t hear from him for the next 48 hours. I know he’s very stressed at work and his work ethic is impeccable so that might be part of it.
Last night, we made plans to see each other and we were excited, he told me that I’m all his until he went unresponsive. I’m getting ready and I’m texting him to confirm but no response. I wait an hour and I call him, he doesn’t answer. I texted him that he’s made me cry (because me crying is his kryptonite), no answer. I know he saw the message because he was active on WhatsApp a few hours later. At this point, I’ve made the decision to give space and walk away.
I’m falling apart. I love him and want to be supportive but I can’t tell if it’s PTSD or something else. He assures me that he’s head over heels but he ignores me more frequently and is pulling away from me. I haven’t seen him in over 2 weeks. We’ve never gone this long without seeing each other. I don’t know what to do. Someone please help me understand and enlighten me on what’s happening.
P.S. I’ve always respected his space. When I found out it’s a PTSD symptom, when I notice him ignoring me, I give him space and don’t contact him until he does. He always comes back but there must be a better way to manage him ignoring me
However, he mentioned very briefly when we were first dating that he has PTSD but it manifests in nightmares and sleepwalking. I didn’t think much of it because I thought it was controlled and he was going to therapy. Over time, I noticed more and more that he would randomly become unresponsive. Sometimes for days. I didn’t know that isolation was a symptom of PTSD until I did some digging. Before I knew it had something to do with PTSD, I would get really upset with him because I told him time and time again that ignoring me was the one thing I hated most. I’d rather him tell me something I didn’t want to hear than to be ignored. He assured me each time that he wasn’t ignoring me and he just got caught up with things and would pretend like nothing ever happened.
As our relationship deepened, the ignoring would get worse. During the week he would tell me how much I mean to him and no one makes him feel the way I do. In fact, one time I said he forgot about me and he said “don’t say that! I never forget about you, ever! You’re always on my mind. ALWAYS! I’ll be done with work in an hour.” After that text, I didn’t hear from him for the next 48 hours. I know he’s very stressed at work and his work ethic is impeccable so that might be part of it.
Last night, we made plans to see each other and we were excited, he told me that I’m all his until he went unresponsive. I’m getting ready and I’m texting him to confirm but no response. I wait an hour and I call him, he doesn’t answer. I texted him that he’s made me cry (because me crying is his kryptonite), no answer. I know he saw the message because he was active on WhatsApp a few hours later. At this point, I’ve made the decision to give space and walk away.
I’m falling apart. I love him and want to be supportive but I can’t tell if it’s PTSD or something else. He assures me that he’s head over heels but he ignores me more frequently and is pulling away from me. I haven’t seen him in over 2 weeks. We’ve never gone this long without seeing each other. I don’t know what to do. Someone please help me understand and enlighten me on what’s happening.
P.S. I’ve always respected his space. When I found out it’s a PTSD symptom, when I notice him ignoring me, I give him space and don’t contact him until he does. He always comes back but there must be a better way to manage him ignoring me