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Relationship Dating A Ex Combat Vet Confused
- Post starter shorelinelove23
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They aren't going to communicate enough that's the whole thing with this disorder and you can't make them communicate. The more you try and push them to do it the more they are going to retreat from you and make matters worse.
I have a verse as a screen saver on my phone so that I can look at it everyday and it says, 'the pain that you've been feeling can't compare to the joy that's coming' and I look at that everyday and know that it will get better. And over the past few days for me it has.
I have a verse as a screen saver on my phone so that I can look at it everyday and it says, 'the pain that you've been feeling can't compare to the joy that's coming' and I look at that everyday and know that it will get better. And over the past few days for me it has.
CzechTexan26
New Here
That's a really great quote. I need to add it as my wallpaper too! Thanks for sharing :)
CzechTexan26
New Here
I just hope the books I've ordered hurry up & get here. The fact that my honey hasn't communicated at all in a week, nor have we spoken in nearly 2 weeks is killing me inside. I can't even listen to his old voicemails anymore bc they make me cry. I can't talk about it to my family or friends bc they all say this isn't normal relationship behavior. He used me. He doesn't want to be with me, but he can't man up & say so. All that sort of stuff. It's so hard not to start believing them when he's refusing go acknowledge my existence.
Other people are not going to understand no matter how much you try to explain it to them, that's why I only have a select few that I can talk to about this because they understand. Not because they know what it's like but because they actually listen when I talk,
I can't imagine not speaking for two weeks, the most we've gone is two days. All you can do is stay strong and just let him know that you are thinking of him and that you are there if he needs you. Don't send anything that he would need to or be expected to answer to, if you don't it takes the pressure off of him. I don't really know what else to say you could do since he hasn't answered in two weeks. I've read in a few places that said if they want you in their life they will keep in contact regardless. Not saying that he doesn't want you in his life, maybe he just going through a tough time right now but it's just something to keep in mind.
My boyfriend goes through his bad days in which it kills me because he won't talk to me but after a couple days he usually comes back from it. Just keep your head up and stay strong, that's all I can say. Even if you're not ok tell him that you are and stay strong for him because he needs it right now. It's been six weeks for him and I and I can see over the past four days it is slowly but surely getting better and all I can so is be thankful and take it one day at a time and hope it stays that way.
God wouldn't have allowed a challenge to happen if He didn't plan for something good to come from it.
I can't imagine not speaking for two weeks, the most we've gone is two days. All you can do is stay strong and just let him know that you are thinking of him and that you are there if he needs you. Don't send anything that he would need to or be expected to answer to, if you don't it takes the pressure off of him. I don't really know what else to say you could do since he hasn't answered in two weeks. I've read in a few places that said if they want you in their life they will keep in contact regardless. Not saying that he doesn't want you in his life, maybe he just going through a tough time right now but it's just something to keep in mind.
My boyfriend goes through his bad days in which it kills me because he won't talk to me but after a couple days he usually comes back from it. Just keep your head up and stay strong, that's all I can say. Even if you're not ok tell him that you are and stay strong for him because he needs it right now. It's been six weeks for him and I and I can see over the past four days it is slowly but surely getting better and all I can so is be thankful and take it one day at a time and hope it stays that way.
God wouldn't have allowed a challenge to happen if He didn't plan for something good to come from it.
CzechTexan26
New Here
I've read that on here as well, and that makes me even more confused and hurt. I don't understand why he thinks it's ok to treat me like this all of a sudden. I never would have thought him capable of it, & I don't know what to do with it. I could handle everything else if he'd just keep on contact with me.
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- #32
Sweetpea76
VIP Member
As bad as it hurts, sometimes when they do stuff like this, it is the end. They just don't have the emotional capability to end it properly. Shoot, it seems like half the healthy functioning males around now don't even have the emotional capability to end things properly and give a girl some closure.
You guys are breaking my heart... I can tell you are hurting so much. Would it be healthier in the long run for your own sanity to just chalk it up as "over" and start the healing process? You have to remember, sometimes when they leave, its because they leave... not because they have PTSD.
There are a lot of supporters on here whose sufferers have left them in the lurch like this and don't come back. It's not hard to find threads where supporters have been holding on for a long, long time waiting on their loved one to come back. Months, years... how long is it healthy to wait and not have your own life?
This is a hard part of being a supporter. The isolation periods, especially if they take off with no word and leave you doubting the status of your relationship, are brutal. Most supporters I know would rather be berated verbally than go through this hell. You have to make the decision though... how long are you willing to put your life on hold for something that may never be again?
You guys are breaking my heart... I can tell you are hurting so much. Would it be healthier in the long run for your own sanity to just chalk it up as "over" and start the healing process? You have to remember, sometimes when they leave, its because they leave... not because they have PTSD.
There are a lot of supporters on here whose sufferers have left them in the lurch like this and don't come back. It's not hard to find threads where supporters have been holding on for a long, long time waiting on their loved one to come back. Months, years... how long is it healthy to wait and not have your own life?
This is a hard part of being a supporter. The isolation periods, especially if they take off with no word and leave you doubting the status of your relationship, are brutal. Most supporters I know would rather be berated verbally than go through this hell. You have to make the decision though... how long are you willing to put your life on hold for something that may never be again?
CzechTexan26
New Here
The last thing he said to me was, "I know you don't believe me, but I love you, Honey. I love you & I don't want to lose you, Sweetheart. Everything will be back to normal once I get back on my medication. I promise."
I looked him in the eyes when he said it. He wouldn't let me walk away until I looked at him.
I looked him in the eyes when he said it. He wouldn't let me walk away until I looked at him.
I understand he said that to you but he also needs to show you that. Not talking to you for two weeks is not backing up what he told you before he left. Yes my boyfriend and I are separated right now but he still shows me that he wants me to still be in his life by texting me, sending me pictures of things he is working on at work or our animals that we have together that he is taking care of right now.
Yes he has his bad days but he's never gone more that 48 hours of not talking to me or responding to any message that I sent him.
Yes he has his bad days but he's never gone more that 48 hours of not talking to me or responding to any message that I sent him.
CzechTexan26
New Here
Well, I took action & went to see him. It turns out 'A' hasn't been on his meds since he came back from Wyoming.....that's 1.5 months! He's in a very dark place right now, but at least he allowed me to hear it. He still loves me, but he's definitely not loving himself bc he isn't taking care of himself. It's very hard to see him like this, but I've decided to continue with our original plan & move closer to him. I'm learning so much about patience & what it means to truly love another person. He is my soulmate, & you don't quit on that.
Oh honey! Just be careful! He has to want to get better. He has to make an effort to get better. No matter how much you love him you do NOT have a magic wand - you cannot 'fix" him. Its a matter for you how long you live in the hope that he may improve, but be cautious about making life plans that revolve around him and do NOT make life plans on the assumption that he will get better. You know what they say - hope for the best but plan for the worst. What will you do if you move and then he withdraws completely and permanently? (I'm not saying don't move necessarily - I moved interstate to be with my vet days after he told me he never wanted to see me again! - I'm just saying have a back up plan in case it all goes pear shaped.) Good luck. Hope to hear from you how things go. *hug*
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