I have serious problems with dealing with emotions as well, I am hyper vigiliant, and can hardly ignore bad things said to me. Even a 5 year old calling me and idiot hurts me. I have barely any self confidence. Can't deal with stress.
If you find better ways of balancing, tell me. Btw, as some help, here is a bit of techniques for grounding, which calm people down a bit. Though for me the thumb squeeze one doesn't work, as I am often numb to pain due to constant self harm... :(
These are techniques Santa_Lauria gave me, and I'm thankful for that.
Technique 1:-
Called the "Thumb Squeeze"
What you do is grab your thumb tight inside a clenched fist, either hand will suffice.
At first use only one hand andd with your eyes open focus on the thumb and stare at it/
Squeeze it as if you intend to literally break it, (you won't trust me it is not possible :) )
Focus on the pain in your thumb and keep watching the point of pain in your hand.
With your mind focused on the pain receptors in your hand you make the point of pain
travel up your arm slowly, following that pain with your eyes. All the time regulate
your breathing (in through the nose - out through the mouth) slowing your breathing
down to a normal inhale and exhale. Whist still gripping your thumb as hard as possible
follow and visualize that pain travelling up the forearm, past the elbow towards your shoulder.
Your breathing and heart-rate will slow to a regular pace whilst you are focusing on the pain.
(As it is hurting this will keep you in the present day and should after practice stop you mentally regressing to childhood)
When the pain reaches your shoulder blade you need to close your eyes and focus your mind in your shoulder.
The pain will now be very intense and you need to slowly breath in through your nose nice and controlled
and deeply. On a controlled exhale you very gently release your thumb and visualise all the anxiety
falling off you from the top of your head, past your shoulders. falling off of your body like droplets
onto the floor.
When you have released the pain from your thumb it will ache but all the anxiety and feeling of negativity
will literally just fall off.
Technique 2:-
Called the "Butterfly Hug"
As the name suggests this groundingtechnique is just that you literally hug yourself back to reality.
When we need to ground ourselves what we are doing is primarily bringing ourselves back to earth after
a trigger or a flashback (stopping regression to a trauma time in the pastand keeping our focus on the present day).
We need to bring ourselves back safely,or we risk harming ourselves if we stay in the past at the time of trauma thathas taken us there.
You fold your arms across your chest and rest the tips of your fingers on theopposite shoulder.
Then whilst slowly, and gently rockingfrom hip to hip, you tap your finger tips gently on your
shoulders one side at a time in rhythmwith your swaying hips. Whilst swayingsay the words left,
right, left, right in your mind.
(Don't panic if when you are leaning tothe right your mind is saying left and when leaning to the
left your mind is saying right. This is completely normal as from practice we can re-wire our brains
to the correct rhythm so that we are*Left on Left and Right on Right* When we start using new
grounding techniques our brains are often confused and this reaction is totally normal, especially in newly diagnosed sufferers.)
Close your eyes and focus on your breathing and heart rate, slowly regulate your breathing to
stop yourself hyperventilating. Concentrate on your breathing and keep the rhythm going.
Slowly you will start to breath normally and your heart rate will gradually return to a regular beat.
When your breathing is at a healthy slowed rate and your heaft-rate is normal slowly open your
eyes and tell yourself in your mind what day it is and where you are.
Allow yourself however long you need to start with when using this and after time you will
be able to ground quite quickly. Once you have got the hang of the main technique you can
adapt it so that you can even use it when triggered in a public situation when the full
technique may look strange.
Technique3:-
Diaphramatic Breathing.
Basically our physiology for breathing is to breath from the diaphragm and not the chest.
With your eyes closed.
Place your hands on your stomach and concentrate breathing in and pulling your
stomach muscles up towards your rib-cage, this squeezes the stomach muscles and
contracts around the internal organs.
Breath in for a slow count of 4 through the nose,
breath out through the mouth for a count of eight whilst slowly saying "Haaaaa".
This will seem really weird at first but is really worth perceiving with.
After practice you will be able to do it without even placing your hands on
your stomach as you come to re-balance your breathing regularity techniques.
This is the technique used by actor and singers to regulate their breathing,
especially Opera singers to bee able to maintain long notes.
The breathing technique is ass old as time itself and was used by the Hawaiian tribes
people centuries ago as a way of filling themselves with good energy. You can do this
for as long a time or as short a time as you want to.
Good luck on recovery and welcome to the forums :hug:.
