Hey. I'm sorry you're going through what you're going through.
I get both flashbacks and panic attacks, and I don't quite know what you're experiencing here, but I'll try to help.
Flashbacks for me have more imagery and I feel like I'm literally back in the abuse. Panic attacks I just feel this crushing sense of doom and dread and like I'm gonna choke on my own breath. Both are awful, but different strategies work better.
With a flashback, I use grounding techniques. Stamp my feet, drum rhythm on my knees, try to think of a song only now-me would know. Touch works best for me. This is my chair that I bought only a year ago, this is a shirt I own now, I can smell (whatever), I can taste whatever, I'm big and I'm okay here, in time, in space.
Panic attacks I know where/who/when I am, I'm just fkd with panic.
I take slow breaths, because deep ones I can start to hyperventilate. I try and distract myself from the feeling until it passes rather than ground myself in it. I still drum, but I might put on loud music and try to sing along, or read something, or flash my phone's light off and on and try and really look at how that effects the colours around me.
Fun fact, our bodies will naturally calm after 20 minutes from the adrenal flood if they don't sense any extra danger, and for me, if I'm not dissociative. So I just try to keep myself alive and unharmed for those 20 mins.
Is there anything specific I can help with?
