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Relationship Dealing with physical distance

Derailed

New Here
How do you deal with your partner distancing themselves? Is this normal with individuals with ptsd and gad?

Over the last 4 months, my partner and I have not spent even an evening together. He calls and talks and messages me every day. I have asked specifically if we could spend some time together. We haven’t even been intimate in a while. He keeps saying he’s tired and just needs to decompress from the week. I feel as though my needs are not being met but that I’m also walking on eggshells. We sometimes meet up after work for about half an hour a week but it feels too little. He likes his alone time and I’m try really hard to be considerate and allow him his space. But this is starting to take a toll on me and I. I don’t even understand if this might be his way of slowly breaking up with me or something. We’ve been together for a year and half. Some of it for financial reasons but I sense there’s a degree of complacency. We haven’t been out on a date for almost 18 months. But I love this man. Is this kind of distance normal? He’s in a much better place compared to a year ago and we live in the same city. It feels like I’m just an afterthought in his life.
 
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i'm not going to claim to be a global norm, but that distancing is normal-for-me. when i am in episode, my sensitivities, both emotional and physical, sky rocket. being around someone who inspires my passion on as many levels as my partner does sends me into sensory overload. it's BECAUSE i love him so much that i need to increase my social distance while my ptsd is roaring.
 
i'm not going to claim to be a global norm, but that distancing is normal-for-me. when i am in episode, my sensitivities, both emotional and physical, sky rocket. being around someone who inspires my passion on as many levels as my partner does sends me into sensory overload. it's BECAUSE i love him so much that i need to increase my social distance while my ptsd is roaring.
Thank you for sharing this!! It’s very helpful insight, as supporter of a sufferer who has isolated himself (it’s been a week so far). I truly appreciate your candor.
 
Is this kind of distance normal?
Not with the people I date…

…but friends, family, f*ck buddies? YEARS of zero contact, followed by picking right back up where we left off is totally normal. And zero problem. 4 months? Zero contact, I would be considering myself single. Distance contact, we’d probably have broken up months back. Not always. I’m perfectly fine with certain extended periods away, zero contact (hunting, touring, gig work), and daily contact is bonus. But most of the time? My clock for where I’m HAPPY being apart is waaaaay sooner.

I tend to both live/work with the people I’m dating, though.
 
How do you deal with your partner distancing themselves? Is this normal with individuals with ptsd and gad?

Over the last 4 months, my partner and I have not spent even an evening together. He calls and talks and messages me every day. I have asked specifically if we could spend some time together. We haven’t even been intimate in a while. He keeps saying he’s tired and just needs to decompress from the week. I feel as though my needs are not being met but that I’m also walking on eggshells. We sometimes meet up after work for about half an hour a week but it feels too little. He likes his alone time and I’m try really hard to be considerate and allow him his space. But this is starting to take a toll on me and I. I don’t even understand if this might be his way of slowly breaking up with me or something. We’ve been together for a year and half. Some of it for financial reasons but I sense there’s a degree of complacency. We haven’t been out on a date for almost 18 months. But I love this man. Is this kind of distance normal? He’s in a much better place compared to a year ago and we live in the same city. It feels like I’m just an afterthought in his life.
Me and my partner have been together 11 years - and lived together for 10. he has had ptsd since August 2020. Struggled with it immensely this last 18 months. Following a period of mayhem that was bringing me down too - he was staying away from home late at night because he needed space. So we decided it best that he stays home safe and in the beings I stay at my parents. This has gone on now for 6 weeks or so. It has calmed him right down. We are in touch constantly - talk on the phone every day and evening - sometimes even in the middle of the night when he can’t sleep. I desperately want to come home, have our evening back together for dinner, our Netflix series and the odd glass of wine - but it’s not time yet. Don’t know how to solve it, but this way it stops him staying out and me making myself ill with anxiety at home
 
@Derailed I'm going through something similar. We talk almost daily. He tells me he misses me regularly. He sends me relationship reels from Instagram. He made it official with me a little over a month ago but our "dates" are him coming over for dinner. The last actual date outside of my home we've been on was back in October. It's absolutely frustrating and I keep having to remind myself that it might be a byproduct of his PTSD. Does it feel safe for them to keep us at arms length? I have no idea but maybe knowing it's not just your PTSD relationship that is enduring the same thing might make it easier to digest that it's not you? Idk but that helps me.

I'm an empath and I'm really good at reading people and sensing energies. Unfortunately, when actions don't match the energies I'm feeling, I start to short-circuit and makes me second-guess my intuition.
 
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