firebloodteeth
New Here
I have a great deal of responsibility at my work. I'm the sole manager at a small business and have been so for about 2 years now. I relocated here in order to take the job. Before this, I was juggling part time jobs that didn't pay well in a bigger city, and struggling to pay rent. Now I have a well-paying job with lots of freedom and no authority over me, which is what I prefer, but it comes with incredible responsibility and stress!
When I first started, I poured myself completely into my work because there was so much that needed fixing when the previous manager abandoned the job. I was the only office employee, and I had to work 90 hours a week. By focusing on work, I was able to stop taking my medication that I had been on the max dosage of for almost 10 years. It was an SSRI that I felt had been hindering me emotionally and causing some physical side effects. I feel so much better and more in tune with myself now that I'm off it! Now things at work have gotten better, we've hired more staff. So I can work less, but my stress is still high.
I've noticed that I get stressed out more easily when I miss out on self-care, which is often. I sometimes forget to eat breakfast or I skip parts of my normal morning routine because I'm so anxious about work. And now that we have more employees, it doesn't even make sense that I would be so focused on one specific thing at work, because my employees are all fully capable of handling it. But I will let one thing bother me and not be able to get it out of my mind. For example, if there is a transaction that I'm not sure will go right and I want to make sure my employees charge the correct amount. They are all great workers, so I should be able to trust that they can do it right, but I will sweat with anxiety over it the night before or sometimes days before! I will actually lose sleep over it. I'll get angry in my head ruminating over all the possible mistakes that could occur and that I'll have to be the one to fix it. And how awful it will be confronting other people about it. And I have to hold myself back from speaking to my employees about it before I have had time to carefully think about the situation and gage my actions properly. I never want to act in any way that is unreasonable. So many times I will fret over something small like this and work out how I will deal with it in my head, but when the time comes I realize how silly it is for me to be so upset, that it's just my anxiety, and then I let it go. And it passes, and I'm fine. But I still do it.
I literally have to pull myself away from the desk and force myself to eat so I won't get stressed out that day. It helps me avoid PTSD blow-ups, which I can proudly say I've been able to keep well-hidden from my employees! In order to motivate self-care, I force myself to leave the office and do something I like to do, like watch an episode of a favorite feel-good tv show, take my dog to the park, etc. Physical exercise is a great stress-reliever! But it's a daily and almost constant struggle, and it sucks. Does anyone else have this experience with a high-stress job or job with great responsibility (being a parent counts, too!) and can offer some advice? Thanks!
When I first started, I poured myself completely into my work because there was so much that needed fixing when the previous manager abandoned the job. I was the only office employee, and I had to work 90 hours a week. By focusing on work, I was able to stop taking my medication that I had been on the max dosage of for almost 10 years. It was an SSRI that I felt had been hindering me emotionally and causing some physical side effects. I feel so much better and more in tune with myself now that I'm off it! Now things at work have gotten better, we've hired more staff. So I can work less, but my stress is still high.
I've noticed that I get stressed out more easily when I miss out on self-care, which is often. I sometimes forget to eat breakfast or I skip parts of my normal morning routine because I'm so anxious about work. And now that we have more employees, it doesn't even make sense that I would be so focused on one specific thing at work, because my employees are all fully capable of handling it. But I will let one thing bother me and not be able to get it out of my mind. For example, if there is a transaction that I'm not sure will go right and I want to make sure my employees charge the correct amount. They are all great workers, so I should be able to trust that they can do it right, but I will sweat with anxiety over it the night before or sometimes days before! I will actually lose sleep over it. I'll get angry in my head ruminating over all the possible mistakes that could occur and that I'll have to be the one to fix it. And how awful it will be confronting other people about it. And I have to hold myself back from speaking to my employees about it before I have had time to carefully think about the situation and gage my actions properly. I never want to act in any way that is unreasonable. So many times I will fret over something small like this and work out how I will deal with it in my head, but when the time comes I realize how silly it is for me to be so upset, that it's just my anxiety, and then I let it go. And it passes, and I'm fine. But I still do it.
I literally have to pull myself away from the desk and force myself to eat so I won't get stressed out that day. It helps me avoid PTSD blow-ups, which I can proudly say I've been able to keep well-hidden from my employees! In order to motivate self-care, I force myself to leave the office and do something I like to do, like watch an episode of a favorite feel-good tv show, take my dog to the park, etc. Physical exercise is a great stress-reliever! But it's a daily and almost constant struggle, and it sucks. Does anyone else have this experience with a high-stress job or job with great responsibility (being a parent counts, too!) and can offer some advice? Thanks!
