Decisions....help !!!

[Pixi525]

A question.
I know noone can make the decision but me but I'd like some input.
Ive been working fulltime for 90 days. Love the job.
My ptsd stems from childhood abuse. I still live with my father and mother who were abusers. Theyve calmed down a lot...but my dad recently quit his job. Leaving him home 24/7.
when i was a child, he called me fat, worthless, useless, and physically abused me.
Once he knocked me to the floor and beat me repeatedly against the carpet until i almost blacked out.
He hasnt hit me since I was 16. I am 26 now. The memories have faded bc medication helps...but it is still difficulf to live at home.
I found an apartment for pretty cheap. Only problem, I have $5,000 in medical debt. And after rent, electric, bills, and food, i will only have 100 extra every paycheck(biweekly)
Im single. So I would be on my own.
Im also terrified bc last time I moved out, he abused my mother sexually.
Bringing her with me is not an option..ive been to conseling and they said I cannot enable her...as she was part of the abuse as well.

Any advice on what decision you would make based off your life experience would help.
I think my anxiety is clouding any clear visions.

Thank you.

 

[Heather]

Do you have any friends looking for a place? If you split the rent...you'd have more money.

Just a thought. Sounds like its a good idea to get out of your parents house.

Wish you luck

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Can you check with the medical place that you have the debt with and see if you can apply for medical hardship. Last year I had an over six thousand dollar bill for a hospital stay for a very bad kidney infection. I applied and qualified and they covered the bill. Thankfully.

I think your plan of getting away from your parents is a very good one. Good luck.

 

[Pixi525]

Also, i only have a few days to decide since I already put down the deposit..though i can get it back.

 

[Neverthesame]

I would move out.
Get out of that house, you are not responsible for your mother. She is an adult. If after you move, things get bad for her again. You can reach out to her if you feel the need to.
With her history of past abuse to you, I'd keep her at a distance. By which I mean, help her get to a woman's shelter as opposed to putting her up at your place, stuff like that. I understand that she's your mother and you care about her. That you feel an obligation to help her.
If that's what you think you need to do to sate your conscience, that's fine. Just please do so from a safe distance.

Help yourself first, that is the most important thing. Don't let them drag you back into their shit. They had no right to abuse you, they have no right to do so now. It's not fair to you to put yourself into the role of saviour. Nor is it practical.
If your presence was enough to stop those people being abusive, you wouldn't have been abused in the first place.

You have your own life to live. I honestly believe it's not really possible to do much recovery while still being embroiled in the abusive home. You need to get out of it before you can start to work on getting past it. Trying to fix their mess of a marriage is not part of your recovery. This applies irregardless of them being abusive or not.

Help yourself first.

 

[Fadeaway]

What about renting a room from someone. You need to get out of there, but unexpected expenses happen. So I would try to find something cheaper first.

 

[Kintsugi]

I need the 100 likes button for @Neverthesame's post