Derealization

[Deleted member 37343]

Whenever I am derealized, it feels almost like a dream state and artificial. Like the world itself is a machine and the people, animals, everything that inhabit it are robots on autopilot. When people try talking to me, I don't see the point in responding to a robot. I'll look at them almost curiously trying to figure them out and wonder how they operate. Who's moving them and am I the only human in this world? I feel like I'm just going through with the actions, weaving through the robots and hoping I don't get spotted and taken away. If I just act normal like them, they won't notice that I have control over my body.

 

[BlueOrange]

That sounds like a really evocative metaphor for the way that we all tend to live our lives according to patterns, and we tend to repeat ourselves.

Does thinking of it as a metaphor seem valid to you?

 

[littlestar]

nimali, I have moments like that. Like just existing, but not sure I exist either.

 

[Deleted member 37343]

That sounds like a really evocative metaphor for the way that we all tend to live our lives accordin...

When I experienced my first derealization episode, that's the closest of a description I could give it while also helping me, and others, to understand it.

 

[BlueOrange]

It's a really powerful image, and I think it communicates things quite well. I've just come out of a session with my therapist and talked about this thread in the context of my own fears and difficulties.

He indicated to me that diagnosing psychosis can be difficult because sometimes people talk about metaphors in a way that can sound very literal.

Treatment will vary depending on whether your experience of these distressing thoughts and images is 'like it's happening' or whether you're describing exactly what your experience is. I'd suggest informing your therapist about that as best you can, and explaining also about why you choose the words you choose.

I remember having a really disturbing flashback where I had a really intense recollection of my son undergoing a painful medical procedure. The words I used were "I was back in that room, I wasn't in the lecture theater anymore." Careful questioning revealed that although I remembered exactly what the procedure looked like, the signals from my eyes were unchanged. When i said "I could see", I was referring to a really powerful imagining of what it looked like, and i was not describing a hallucination. Helping your therapist to understand what your experience is will help them choose a treatment that is helpful.