DID Did denial

[Jobriel]

I am feeling confused and am hitting up against denial. My alters have never taken over completely, even if I ask them to.(I just want one note from them to prove they are there.) This makes me think I am making everything up. What if I just dissociate a lot and mistake mood swings for alters? I just finally told my Mom about the DID, and now I am thinking that I am unconsciously making it up just because I've been dx'd twice. I just read a book about DID(First Person Plural) and it made me alternate between thinking I don't have it because I am always conscious, to thinking I definitely have it because his journal entries looked almost exactly like mine. I feel like I am in a painful holding pattern and I want to move forward, but I can't do that unless I can be sure which way to go. I have no memory of trauma, but when I read books about it, it is clear that I have nearly every symptom. I don't want to be a liar. I want to know what is true and move forward, but I don't know where to go.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

I am also a person with DID, it can be quite confusing and complicated to understand, it's taken me loads of time to manage to get my head around how they function and categorization, and I'm still not quite sure how much do I know about myself. I can never be sure if there is another one or if some is actually two that act similar. Though, difference would be, I managed to in a way communicate with them. There are quite a few others on this site that are similar, so you will get much better advice than you can from me. But from me, you can hear that it's possible to work on it. I couldn't quite communicate with them before, nor knew much about the splitting other than that there were blackouts in my memory. Stay strong

The mentioned thread: https://www.myptsd.com/threads/dissociative-indentity-disorder.54055/

 

[Ronin]

If it helps, it's not possible to 'make up' D.I.D. Mood swings don't even come close & they don't change the identity of the person, even when presentation & feeling like yourself may change considerably.

Also, if you're co-conscious like that? It may be worth to research DD-NOS specifically. Doctors diagnosing D.I.D. often treat D.I.D. patients with strong co-consciousness and insecurities like this with that diagnosis, instead of labeling D.I.D.

Have you looked at small details? (We have different way of holding things, body posture in slight details we can't quite immitate even when focusing on it/aware which it is, hand writings, style of noting things, visual preferences, smell & taste sensitivity even where we agree on food & body limits are shared, different reaction to triggers where trauma is concerned off the top of my head.)

That confusion and switching between denial & not is also super common. I haven't met a plural that wouldn't experience it.