Different People With Different Causes Of Ptsd Triggering Eachother

[Deleted member 10686]

There is a guy in my class tht has combat related PTSD , he has a very take charge attitude which he had said is because of his military training, e triggers me like no other especially when we have to work together because he is just to in yor face and dare I say it arrogant for me and he comes off to me like idk like scary because of how my abuser was in your face and take control kind if guy. This person is nice but very triggering to me and I know we both have PTSD but I just can't seem to find common ground with him still. Are we really that alike just because we have PTSD? Or how do I deal with being triggered by someone whose suffering like I am? It confuses me.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

PTSD isn't a bonding mechanism. I mean its not like you two ride horses and find enjoyment in riding horses together. You both have PTSD, and PTSD can present in very different ways. I wouldn't say that you and this other guy are "alike" because you both have PTSD. It would sort of be like saying "hey lets bond over the fact that we were both raped as children!" Uhm, no, it doesn't happen.

I think you have to deal with him just as you would deal with anyone else who triggers you. Don't NOT stand up for yourself just because he has PTSD, too.

 

[digger]

Are we really that alike just because we have PTSD?

No. It might help you empathise with his suffering but it doesn't make you 'alike' or mean that you have any common ground with him in other respects, any more than if you both had diabetes or asthma or you both broke your leg.

Or how do I deal with being triggered by someone whose suffering like I am.

The same ways you deal with being triggered by anyone else. What are your strategies for that usually? It doesn't sound like it is his suffering, or having PTSD that is bothering you. It sounds like it's the fact his personality reminds you of your abusers personality.

 

[KwanYingirl]

There may be many people with PTSD that would not be interested in a self help group such as this site. But, personally, it helps me that fellow sufferers have a common goal to share their experience, advice, and hope to ease the difficulties that come with PTSD. In this way, we bond. It is not a requirement though. Only if you feel comfortable with it.

Underneath our symptoms of PTSD we have core personalities. He may very well have been born into an assertive personality. Or he may have controlled rage as a consequence of combat. Does he know you have PTSD too? As much as you feel welcome here, he just may not be interested in anyone but himself and so you're not going to get cozy. Try to let it go so it doesn't trigger you so much. We have to try to be less avoidant of triggers since it narrows our world. Yes there are arrogant people in the world who speak loudly, hopefully you won't have to work too much with him. Try breathing in comfort and breathing out discomfort when he triggers you. Be mindful with that intention. It helps.

 

[Friday]

I don't like everyone with combatPTSD. I tend to relate better to them, but that may well be the military thing more than the PTSD thing. It's a different culture. But even if we get on, personality wise, sometimes PTSDx2 can be, ah, interesting. Like a house on fire is interesting. Other times it simply works, and works well.

Something in between... There's a guy in my life that before I knew he had combatPTSD I wanted to crawl into his lap for the duration. Now that I know? I keep mad distance. Not because of him. Because I get squirrelly around him. Sigh. It's massively frustrating. But I hid my PTSD for over a decade, and I slipped up and told him. I think. I'm not exactly sure. But he knows. I think. And when that happened I stopped seeing him as a person, and started seeing him as someone who knows my secret. And someone who I want to barrage with questions (people are not search engines). Not the totally badass awesome guy he is. So I get weird around him. :banghead:

 

[racheldiane]

My dad has PTSD too. When he was about 18 mo old he pulled a kettle of boiling water on himself and suffered severe burns. My PTSD is from a violent crime. While we have a lot of similarities and can identify with each other in some ways, our disorders are fundamentally different from each other (mine is something someone did to me, and his is something that just happened). Sometimes my dad unintentionally triggers me, and that's hard because it feels like he should 'get it' because he has PTSD too. I try to remember that everyone's reaction to traumatic events manifests itself in different ways (grammar?). I know that I have accidentally triggered him before too. Just because we share the same diagnosis and some of the same symptoms, doesn't mean he is going to understand my specific applications of those symptoms. And I'm not going to completely understand his symptoms either, the best thing we can do for each other is TRY. And letting the other person know when they do something that is triggering will help too. Hope you figure out this situation with your classmate.