Dissociation Experience

[Femaleptsd]

Maybe reread @Ragdoll Circus's reply again. My thoughts were very similar and still a...

Thanks, I just re-read and I don't have DID. I've been screened using a questionnaire (can't remember the name of it but the most common one). I came out high depersonalisation/derealisation though. It's happened 3 times to me now over. The first time I don't remember, and still have no recollection of it (even though I've been shown my records). The 2nd and 3rd times are a bit foggy but I remember most of what happened and of my experiences. I just don't seem to fit in to any particular box where this is concerned and that worries me.

 

[Abstract]

Could you ask your treatment providers to explain how this is dissociation and what they think is happening for you - in writing - and share it here? If you feel OK doing that. Or at least for you to see it in writing so you can look at it further.

This sounds very worrying for you and I agree with the others that its hard to understand exactly what they mean. Do you know what set this episode off? I'm glad you are safe.

 

[Muttly]

The reason I asked how you were screened for DID is because I was wondering if it was a questionnaire. *If* you have DID, it could easily be missed in a questionnaire in my opinion. Obviously I don't know what you have and I don't want to make any assumptions. Since you do dissociate heavily, perhaps you can try some of the things that work with DID (whether you have it or not) to get better internal communication.

I've used journaling and art to understand what's going on inside.

 

[Femaleptsd]

Could you ask your treatment providers to explain how this is dissociation and what they think is happe...

Yeah, I think I'm going to ask my community psychiatric nurse (cpn) when I next see her to ask my psychiatrist her thoughts on it. I'm not scheduled to see my psychiatrist unless I'm in hospital so I need to do it this way. I just know that both times I've come through a&e, the liaison psych nurses have both said it's not psychosis. Thanks for understanding my concern.

 

[Abstract]

Yeah, I think I'm going to ask my community psychiatric nurse (cpn) when I next see her to ask my ps...

I know how horrible it has been for me when I don't have control and have been in danger so can only imagine how this feels for you. Could you write a letter for your CPN to hand to your pdoc so that nothing gets lost in translation? And ask for it in writing so that you have time to absorb it properly?

Has this only come from the liason psych nurses or from your pdoc in the past too? Have they seen you when in that state? Maybe you can include a paragraph about your experience in the letter.

 

[Femaleptsd]

Sorry forgot to mention about triggers. My therapist said it has happened when I've had excess stress and I've not been able to cope. It's as if I go to another kind of place until I'm in a safe environment again, which is why when I get to hospital, I 'come around' and get back in to reality again. Not sure if that makes any sense?

 

[Femaleptsd]

I know how horrible it has been for me when I don't have control and have been in danger so can only im...

Yeah my pdoc admitted me to hospital the second time it happened so has seen me in the state. She said I was euphoric but not psychotic. She has known me for about 4 years and so pretty much knows me and my states.

 

[Abstract]

So they are saying you depersonalise/derealise to an extent that numbs out present reality until you feel your environment is safer? I guess that could make sense. I often say that dissociation feels a little like I am inebriated at times in a sense. Drunk on dissociation. I guess when we are drunk and our consciousness is not all there we can come up with fanciful ideas and feelings. Its great your pdoc has seen you like that and knows you. I think you can feel reassured by that. Even though it doesn't solve your present problem.

It sounds like you need to find a different way of feeling safe or place to go to when triggered. There is a thread on here that is on a different track but its possible you may be able to use some of the ideas of helping with this problem. Parts That Want Us Dead

I know that if I ingrain things enough in waking life then I can influence what happens when dissociated to an extent.

 

[Kailani]

It could be dissociative PTSD. A member that was on here said he would have delusions with his PTSD. And I sometimes feel people can hear what I'm thinking cuz I'm having a conversation with them in my head. but then realize it's not true. Have they told you what it is?

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

The problem with the questionnaires is not how you fill them out, but who fills them out. If my work-self fills one out I score super low for dissociation overall. If the part who writes here fills it out? Off the charts.

 

[Femaleptsd]

I don't have parts/alters though, I don't have DID

 

[The Albatross]

I don't have it either, however I can at times disassociate... people can have tendencies. The way it was explained to me way back when, was that basically at some point I decided my body wasn't necessarily a safe place to be... so when stuff would happen "I" would bail and leave the body to deal with it and then "come back"... except, at some point I stopped trying to come back because I was thoroughly and completely convinced after many traumas that it was NOT a safe place to be. Trying to "put" myself back in was not very easy. I did a good/fair amount of cranial sacral to help with that.