-lemurlibs91-
Bronze Member
I'm not sure how much I can add to this, but I totally get what others have said about it being a spectrum. And that the best idea can often be to try and identify when it's happened, using other people's information if needed, and try to find out the triggers/what happened. I'm currently trying to note this all down for work with my T, especially to help identify triggers because I find the stress of dissociation (both mental and physical) often affects all areas of my life. I find it all so frustrating and inconvenient.
For me, I have a few different sorts of disconnecting, some I would think of as dissociation but the lower-end ones don't seem to me to be. Sometimes I apparently stop doing everything I'm doing and sit there staring fixedly, and then suddenly return - during these times, I am completely blank; they are almost like absences rather than "going" elsewhere... I also get times where I "zone out" and I'm sort of inside my head/body, I'm still responding to people but it is often in a slightly strange way because I can hear it distantly & see it far away from me but I'm not making conscious decisions relating to the situation because I'm too far away from it.
The dissociations that upset/affect me the most often seem to be triggered by something related to what I now recognise as trauma, or confusions about who I am and issues with how I look. I often dissociate when I see myself in the mirror as it confuses me and I don't recognise myself so I end up watching what is going on as if I'm a separate ghost-like person. When it's due to trauma it often leads into a flashback or is after a flashback and I'm fully "gone"; it apparently takes my name being called several times and someone shaking me to bring me back....and sometimes that doesn't work.
I totally get what @theshadowoftheliving says about often only realising that I dissociated when someone brings me out of it and it's like I've been startled/shocked back into life. I still find it hard to tell when I'm alone, but I've realised how often something happens now that I spend most of my time with someone, even if I don't know exactly what that something was.
@ghotiff I hope you're able to gain a better understanding of your dissociation so that you can feel a bit better. Good luck.
For me, I have a few different sorts of disconnecting, some I would think of as dissociation but the lower-end ones don't seem to me to be. Sometimes I apparently stop doing everything I'm doing and sit there staring fixedly, and then suddenly return - during these times, I am completely blank; they are almost like absences rather than "going" elsewhere... I also get times where I "zone out" and I'm sort of inside my head/body, I'm still responding to people but it is often in a slightly strange way because I can hear it distantly & see it far away from me but I'm not making conscious decisions relating to the situation because I'm too far away from it.
The dissociations that upset/affect me the most often seem to be triggered by something related to what I now recognise as trauma, or confusions about who I am and issues with how I look. I often dissociate when I see myself in the mirror as it confuses me and I don't recognise myself so I end up watching what is going on as if I'm a separate ghost-like person. When it's due to trauma it often leads into a flashback or is after a flashback and I'm fully "gone"; it apparently takes my name being called several times and someone shaking me to bring me back....and sometimes that doesn't work.
I totally get what @theshadowoftheliving says about often only realising that I dissociated when someone brings me out of it and it's like I've been startled/shocked back into life. I still find it hard to tell when I'm alone, but I've realised how often something happens now that I spend most of my time with someone, even if I don't know exactly what that something was.
@ghotiff I hope you're able to gain a better understanding of your dissociation so that you can feel a bit better. Good luck.
