Do you experience a therapy high?


I've just now related it to when my mom's boyfriend just finished beating the shit out of me. I was about 6 at the time, I had the bright idea of quoting a movie line, "Is that all you got?!"
At some point, you get hurt enough it doesn't matter any more. Unfortunately it isn't just physical that hurts.

There is no "lets find how you can join in" in the schoolyard there's just getting picked last and picked on because it's easy and everyone thinks your exaggerated startle response is funny.

Doesn't matter though, it gives you that attitude that you are damn well going to do it and you are tough enough to handle the results. Except PTSD attacks in the one place we can't we can't defend.


I’m not sad about it really, but it is interesting. Stuff to unpack and sort through that I haven’t even considered. Rabbit hole. I’ll take that to my journal though.

T has made the comment, several times, that she doesn’t want to push too hard, because she doesn’t want it to be too much and I don’t return. My knee jerk response is challenge accepted.

The more I explore this the more I think I need to back off, let the process happen. On the other hand, quantifiable evidence shows me my current approach is still effective and completely valid. There is progress.

Don’t fix what ain’t broken.