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Do you have maladaptive daydreaming?

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Yes that exactly!!! That is how it is. I am no longer being abused or in the severe dysfunction of my childhood home life yet I would say around 75-90% of my day also is me being in a daydream which causes everything around me to fade away and thus I miss A LOT! I can't seem to get out of this. My heart hurts. Support to you @Ms Spock
 
Maybe call your thread "Adaptive vs Maladaptive Day Dreaming".
That would be quite senseless, but perhaps a thread titled Maladaptive dreaming = Adaptive dreaming.

I have a thread I authored a couples years back under anonymous, as I was quite embarrassed about it at the time. I know @Ayesha has made threads on it, and i have spoken about it quite about under other people's threads.

Since I don't seem to be expressing myself well, let me backtrack a bit. There was a time where it did make up the bulk of my day. Where it did seem like I couldn't stop. I was very distressed by it. That is when she explained to me to stop looking it as MAL adaptive. and to see it as something beneficial.

You are stuck in it right now because it is serving a purpose. Even when you are no longer stuck in it, it will continue to be beneficial, but to get unstuck you need need to fill the void that it is filling. To reduce the frequency you have to replace it with alternatives. trying to reduce the amount of time spent is not going to help, it could even be worse, because then you fill the void with even more unhealthy coping mechanisms.
 
Since I don't seem to be expressing myself well, let me backtrack a bit. There was a time where it did make up the bulk of my day. Where it did seem like I couldn't stop. I was very distressed by it. That is when she explained to me to stop looking it as MAL adaptive. and to see it as something beneficial.
Thanks for explaining that to me.

You are stuck in it right now because it is serving a purpose. Even when you are no longer stuck in it, it will continue to be beneficial, but to get unstuck you need need to fill the void that it is filling. To reduce the frequency you have to replace it with alternatives. trying to reduce the amount of time spent is not going to help, it could even be worse, because then you fill the void with even more unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Yes I am trying to do Self Compassion and Radical Acceptance. I can make myself a lot worse by trying to control it.
 
I'm grateful to find this post.

I'd not heard of maladaptive daydreaming until now but when I read the words my gut clenched and there was a uh oh not another cruch exposed!

I just posted in my diary 'his is the hour when I fantasize about being in a relationship with someone I don't know and am too scared to meet', then I find this!

I've used this maladaptive daydreaming/fantasy all my life to take the edge off, much like smoking might for some.

I agree @Ms Spock
 
Oh..didnt get to finish...

I agree that it can be very disruptive to ruin someones life. I feel like it adds to the thick sludge of avoidance that I wade around in. It certainly adds to my emotional and socially self depriving behaviours, gets in the way of having relationships and living in the present moment.

I was in a 12 Step process addiction program for a while and had a bottom line to not fantasize. I started this before the program and it worked but it was sooooo painful but it really helped. I was much more available to really hear myself and others and it also helped my creativity. Instead of getting anxious about writing then drifting off into daydreaming about being interviewed about my writing! I'd have to sit in the anxiety and/or crack on and I did. Over that two and a bit yearss I wrote a collection that has brought be a lot of goodness in terms of my art.

@Ms Spock I sense this is the finer layer of recovery - not that I know that much about that! but I feel like this maladaptive daydreaming is a very fine film around the protective sphere that those with PTSD sometimes live within. What do you think?
I guess I'm saying that I admire you want to work on this and you're at the point of working on it.

As for me - I'm back on the maladaptive daydreaming and in all honesty I've got too much else to clear before letting that crutch go. Well it's more than that, it's been a friend but it's not working anymore.

Also wondering if the maladaptive daydreaming ties into rescue/salvation fantasy - keeping that going. Any thoughts?

Probably useless but thought I'd share my experience and thoughts.
 
@Neverthesame Good questions. Hard to answer.

In my own experience it's about the pain the MD is masking and of course habit formation.

I stopped for under a year quite suddenly following a very painful peeling of a new layer of shit and all the new levels of acknowledgement, feeling re traumatised/flashbacks that go with it. I think it was going through this, releasing and working through it, alongside a mindfulness practice that made the pause with MD possible.

Since discovering the term (day before yesterday!) I've been paying more attention to when I drift into the MD mode. I've noticed on a few ocassions it had been prompted by feeling in contact with the new layer of shit surfacing.

Just my couple of pennies worth.

I wonder how things have been for you on the MD front today? @Ms Spock
 
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