I voted that they sabotage my healing sadly.
Being around my family tends to create a lot of backlash and I have had to be really careful and put strong boundaries in place.
Most of my life I did not attempt to get support but when I tried very hard to change all this about three years ago and at age 41 I realised why. I think I instinctively realised that noone was capable of being a support to me.
My sister who should be the most likely one and has a masters in psychology and is registered to be able to counsel people had this response to me when I had a weak moment and told her I had entered trauma T: "shouldn't you just pull yourself together and get on with your life?".
Thank you. That set me back for weeks afterwards as I deal with monstrous levels of denial that I battle every day so hearing something like this is like the final nail in the coffin.
They all come to me and I am a support to them in life in general and choose to continue in a boundaried way since I realised that they do not have the capacity to reciprocate but I am safer keeping my problems to myself. I am fairly accepting of all this these days.
I would go as far as to say that support is a foreign concept to me and sadly now I have so little ability to trust that I find it impossible to take actual steps to make new friends that are a true potential support.
Batgirl,
so glad your family is so lovely!
Being around my family tends to create a lot of backlash and I have had to be really careful and put strong boundaries in place.
Most of my life I did not attempt to get support but when I tried very hard to change all this about three years ago and at age 41 I realised why. I think I instinctively realised that noone was capable of being a support to me.
My sister who should be the most likely one and has a masters in psychology and is registered to be able to counsel people had this response to me when I had a weak moment and told her I had entered trauma T: "shouldn't you just pull yourself together and get on with your life?".
Thank you. That set me back for weeks afterwards as I deal with monstrous levels of denial that I battle every day so hearing something like this is like the final nail in the coffin.
They all come to me and I am a support to them in life in general and choose to continue in a boundaried way since I realised that they do not have the capacity to reciprocate but I am safer keeping my problems to myself. I am fairly accepting of all this these days.
Exactly and well said Sydney. Words mean absolutely nothing. There is another one that says to listen to what someone is telling you about who they are....not to look at the words people say or write, or the feelings they profess, but ONLY at their actions. If I look at my parents' actions (or lack thereof!), the best I can say is that they are unable to provide support. ...
I would go as far as to say that support is a foreign concept to me and sadly now I have so little ability to trust that I find it impossible to take actual steps to make new friends that are a true potential support.
Batgirl,
so glad your family is so lovely!