Poll Does Your Family Neglect You Emotionally?

[PaintedTurtle]

I don't think that's it. I think my needs are greater and so it can FEEL like that. Everyone has a different capacity for compassion, love etc. I have had to learn to match my capacity to others (so I'd stop being put in a situation to be victimized) and weed out those who aren't able to give what I can. I now fill my world with like minded people. I am a giver, so I fill my world with givers and eliminate the narcissistic personalities from my life. It has changed my world. Literally.

 

[PaintedTurtle]

I do not have much family left. I have my husband who has dementia and he cannot be there for me anymore....

After losing my father at 15 and watching my mother go through what you are going through and knowing what it's like to have a toxic family and not much family left, my mother and I discovered a couple of things. Some of it is comforting and some of it is just the way it is. 1.We are very lucky in this life to get any time with anyone. 2.We got really tired of hearing people talk about "healing" or "getting over it" because there is no such thing. What we DID learn was really helpful. First it was getting educated about the stages of healing from death (so you know what to expect through it over the years). Second was that the more TIME that made its way between us and the events (our losses) the more we were able to build up the strength we needed to keep going and the strength HAS come. We have learned to be patient with our own healing (healing rates). 3. Everyone has a different resiliency against the damage of loss. 4. Resiliency CAN be improved because the neurons in the brain build according to what we focus on and weaken according to what we neglect and that includes sad or happy thinking and positive and negative thought patterns. 5. Forcing smiles sucks, but it works. It releases chemicals that promote feeling better. 6.It is OKAY to snap at someone who tells you "they know how you feel because their dog died last year". It won't make you feel better (it made me feel worse) but I forgave myself for doing it because a person has a limit 7. Friends who really know how to laugh can fill up your time and get you through another day. Even via phone or Internet. No matter WHAT anyone says, the trick is time. Do what you need to do to survive until enough has passed that you feel you might make it, then will. I realize I don't know you and some of this won't apply, but I am hoping some of it does. I was lucky enough for someone to say something similar to me and mom when we needed it most.

 

[420kitty]

Most of my family has neglected me but my sister and father have always been there. Even after the PTSD.

 

[Deleted member 487]

They denied me feelings for a long time. Now they are gone and I'm left trying to pick up the pieces.

 

[Changing4Best]

So sorry that happened to you @cactus_jack. I was often not allowed to express feelings either, so as an adult I can often be a kind of emotionless person, who has a very LONG fuse. But when it blows, MAN! Watch out!!! I don't get violent or anything, but even I don't know what I am saying. I just blurt it out and regret it later. I have lost friends because of my anger. It hurts.