desiderata310
VIP Member
I haven't always been like this. Actually, I used to be a very "touchy-feely" person and would give anyone who wanted one a hug.
In the last 4 months it has become more pronounced: I can't STAND the thought of someone- anyone- touching me. I thought it was perhaps just something weird because I had spent so much time alone for a few months but when my son joined me in our new home, I found that I actually got very angry when he would try to hug me. I have to prep myself to be touched in anyway. I don't like to give handshakes that I don't initiate, I don't like it if someone pats me on the back. This is all very new. I was attacked two years ago. Since then I have been intimate but now I find that I am not interested in … anything …
I noted that my first session my therapist offered a hug and I acted (and felt like) he was some sort of serpent trying to bite me. Hmmm… I wrote it off to being.. triggered and not really knowing who this person was. Since I've noticed that I don't even like it when he offers to shake my hand. It feels… gross. So.. what the what?!
Is this just kooky hyper-vigelence ? I can't say it's fear as much as revulsion an d anger at the thought of anyone touching me (male/female) for any reason.
I can count on one hand the number of hugs I've had in the last 6 months.
Lucky for me my son is a teen and isn't very interested in hugging mom (I'm lucky to be un-cool)
Yes, I would say my therapist is aware but we haven't addressed it directly (I know the hand shakes are to try to get me to trust him more)
In the last 4 months it has become more pronounced: I can't STAND the thought of someone- anyone- touching me. I thought it was perhaps just something weird because I had spent so much time alone for a few months but when my son joined me in our new home, I found that I actually got very angry when he would try to hug me. I have to prep myself to be touched in anyway. I don't like to give handshakes that I don't initiate, I don't like it if someone pats me on the back. This is all very new. I was attacked two years ago. Since then I have been intimate but now I find that I am not interested in … anything …
I noted that my first session my therapist offered a hug and I acted (and felt like) he was some sort of serpent trying to bite me. Hmmm… I wrote it off to being.. triggered and not really knowing who this person was. Since I've noticed that I don't even like it when he offers to shake my hand. It feels… gross. So.. what the what?!
Is this just kooky hyper-vigelence ? I can't say it's fear as much as revulsion an d anger at the thought of anyone touching me (male/female) for any reason.
I can count on one hand the number of hugs I've had in the last 6 months.
Lucky for me my son is a teen and isn't very interested in hugging mom (I'm lucky to be un-cool)
Yes, I would say my therapist is aware but we haven't addressed it directly (I know the hand shakes are to try to get me to trust him more)
