Dont trust drs or people in general

[grit]

It is really admirable that you are at least conscious of you not trusting the drs rather than let us say blaming them or externalising your distrust to them. Not that anything wrong with either as we humans often have our own limitations at any time but the fact you are conscious of knowing you just do not trust drs says a lot about you and that is a plus!

However, also in reality one needs a drs. We all do at some point. So the question is how do you reconcile these two real things?
I can tell you what worked for me and you can try or take it as an idea and find your own way.
One of the most important thing for me was knowing I did not trust therapists. I accept that. I did not know why but I accept that I have a feeling that I do not trust therapists.
But I also accept that I need therapists. So I told them. Listen I do not trust you (not you as a person since I know nothing about you but you as therapist and I do not know really) but I do need your help until I find out why I do not trust you. Since your situation is medical doctor, you do not have to go as deep but hope you got my gist.

Of course as I went deeper in therapy, it makes 100% sense I should not trust anyone that deep when I am recovering my feelings from my lost childhood. There was a reason I lost those feelings and it had a lot to do with trusting people so it made sense to me and I worked my way up from there.

So for you in terms of medical doctors, you can just indicate you have mistrust in procedures and hospitals but you need the help. Most people and most doctors will hear your conflicting feelings and understand. Language is a powerful tool and it really does help to relate to others. Saying it outloud will not cure you from not trusting, but it will allow you to get the help you need.

Just shooting it out there but hope it is helpful.

 

[whiteraven]

Wondering if you understand *why* you get anxious going to the doctor? I have an immense amount of anxiety just thinking about going. I'm discovering that there are several reasons: my entire life, health care providers have not even tried to hear me or they've been judgmental or just disregarding. There's also this fear that they will find something wrong that will be my *fault." They did that already - diabetes. So I have lots of anxiety...a couple of weeks ago, I needed to go to the doctor because I had a bad infection. I couldn't do it. So I went to an urgent care and saw a nurse.

Oh my gosh. So much better! I even had to go back for an allergic reaction to the meds they gave me. And...no anxiety.

Maybe if you try to figure out what it is that makes you so anxious, you can come up with some alternative options that will get you what you need without so much suffering.

 

[AJ45]

Wondering if you understand *why* you get anxious going to the doctor? I have an immense amount of anxiety just thinking about going. I'm discovering that there are several reasons: my entire life, health care providers have not even tried to hear me or they've been judgmental or just disregarding. There's also this fear that they will find something wrong that will be my *fault." They did that already - diabetes. So I have lots of anxiety...a couple of weeks ago, I needed to go to the doctor because I had a bad infection. I couldn't do it. So I went to an urgent care and saw a nurse.

Oh my gosh. So much better! I even had to go back for an allergic reaction to the meds they gave me. And...no anxiety.

Maybe if you try to figure out what it is that makes you so anxious, you can come up with some alternative options that will get you what you need without so much suffering.

Yes because they don't listen and when they don't listen or do jobs properly it leads to almost dying. And i get they make mistakes are human yet.... I'm glad it helped You ?

It is really admirable that you are at least conscious of you not trusting the drs rather than let us say blaming them or externalising your distrust to them. Not that anything wrong with either as we humans often have our own limitations at any time but the fact you are conscious of knowing you just do not trust drs says a lot about you and that is a plus!

However, also in reality one needs a drs. We all do at some point. So the question is how do you reconcile these two real things?
I can tell you what worked for me and you can try or take it as an idea and find your own way.
One of the most important thing for me was knowing I did not trust therapists. I accept that. I did not know why but I accept that I have a feeling that I do not trust therapists.
But I also accept that I need therapists. So I told them. Listen I do not trust you (not you as a person since I know nothing about you but you as therapist and I do not know really) but I do need your help until I find out why I do not trust you. Since your situation is medical doctor, you do not have to go as deep but hope you got my gist.

Of course as I went deeper in therapy, it makes 100% sense I should not trust anyone that deep when I am recovering my feelings from my lost childhood. There was a reason I lost those feelings and it had a lot to do with trusting people so it made sense to me and I worked my way up from there.

So for you in terms of medical doctors, you can just indicate you have mistrust in procedures and hospitals but you need the help. Most people and most doctors will hear your conflicting feelings and understand. Language is a powerful tool and it really does help to relate to others. Saying it outloud will not cure you from not trusting, but it will allow you to get the help you need.

Just shooting it out there but hope it is helpful.

Idk... My verbal voice sucks and trusting people sucks

 

[Justmehere]

I have trust issues in spades with doctors. I hear ya. It can be anxiety-producing to see a doc.

Yea I guess nurses are ok.

They really do run the offices. The doctors THINK they do, but not really. They really just assist nurses with all their education. The nurses carry it out. They explain anything that needs to happen. Nurses are cool. Medical assistants too.

So went to Drs today appt 815am was hell going sat there till 850am anxiety was getting worse a lot of people noises etc... I never got called back or anything even though checked in with person. I ended up just leaving because started to feel anxoety attack.

Well done for going! That is a long wait time.

My verbal voice sucks and trusting people sucks

I've called and asked to speak to the nurse or medical assistant for a doc, and left a message straight up to tell them, I have panic, and then told them something that would help. They are eager to help. Especially the nurses and medical assistants. You could call and ask to leave the medical assistant a message and tell them you really want to be seen, and you understand they get busy (that little bit of validation for them will help them hear your request better). Then you can tell them you need to be called back into a room quickly after you get there to avoid panic attacks. It's a totally legit request. It would help them to be able to help you better. It also gives you a chance to see how well they will listen. Test the water a little.

 

[AJ45]

I have trust issues in spades with doctors. I hear ya. It can be anxiety-producing to see a doc.

They really do run the offices. The doctors THINK they do, but not really. They really just assist nurses with all their education. The nurses carry it out. They explain anything that needs to happen. Nurses are cool. Medical assistants too.

Well done for going! That is a long wait time.

I've called and asked to speak to the nurse or medical assistant for a doc, and left a message straight up to tell them, I have panic, and then told them something that would help. They are eager to help. Especially the nurses and medical assistants. You could call and ask to leave the medical assistant a message and tell them you really want to be seen, and you understand they get busy (that little bit of validation for them will help them hear your request better). Then you can tell them you need to be called back into a room quickly after you get there to avoid panic attacks. It's a totally legit request. It would help them to be able to help you better. It also gives you a chance to see how well they will listen. Test the water a little.

Because a lot of childhood trauma was dealing with stuff on own and being minimal or i called dramatic pathetic. I guess i dont feel like im really worth anyone's time. Others come first.

Speaking up in life doesnt seem to make a difference

 

[whiteraven]

Yes because they don't listen and when they don't listen or do jobs properly it leads to almost dying. And i get they make mistakes are human yet.... I'm glad it helped You ?

Oh...I totally get this. I was just thinking the other day that I can think of at least a dozen times when I was *harmed* by doctors. Easy to understand why people don't trust them.

 

[Justmehere]

Because a lot of childhood trauma was dealing with stuff on own and being minimal or i called dramatic pathetic. I guess i dont feel like im really worth anyone's time. Others come first.

Yeah, I’ve battled this thinking as well. Being sick as a child was a “reason” my abuser gave to abuse me so it was extra compounded. Needing help was shamed.

You are not pathetic. The brave ask for help. You are taking good steps towards doing that.

Plus, getting medical care isn’t really all about the doctor doing something for you. What actually happens is that you hire someone to provide tools to be healthier. Getting medical problems addressed means you can do more in life for yourself and others. If you want others to come first, you have to take care of you. If you are drowning with an untreated health problem that doesn’t put others first.

Think about it this way: When a car breaks down, is it better to go around pushing that car every place you need to go, or is it better to take it towed into the mechanic and get it fixed?

I can’t stand being helpless. Seeking medical care can sometimes feel like being helpless. But I have been learning that I’m actually pretty damn powerful when it comes to my medical care and health. Yes there is times of being vulnerable (and I’ve had doctors make serious mistakes). But. It’s not all about being helpless. It’s hard to explain, but even just my attitude shift that hey, I’m hiring you doc... it changes things.

Right now, it seems like you have the power to choose to get care or not, and possibly who you hire. Now is a good time to get a pressing health care need addressed. If you wait, you could end up in a position where you are sick enough that it becomes an emergency and in those situations we have a lot less power, choice, etc.

I’m guessing that the sooner you go, the more power and choice you can have in your healthcare.