EMDR Not Effective?

[SweetPeaandSunBird]

I found EMDR tough due to all the emotions it exposed me to, but it did help some in the long run. And my T said EMDR makes you worse before it makes you better!

It's been over a decade since I underwent EMDR (one session) and it broke so much loose. I went through it to deal with an assault during my late twenties, but the EMDR broke open so much from the childhood abuse. EMDR was still so experimental then and the interns didn't put the closure section on. Wow, I was a freakin' mess. Plus, a week after I had to move to another state (without a T for another year). Ten years later I've found I've been able to process a lot of things and incrementally move forward.

Your posts on this discussion hav me reconsider things because there are still some things that I can't seem to process. I'll have to wait though until the summer when my workload is less.

Glad you all started this topic. Thanks.

 

[dharmaBum]

I experienced the incomprehensibly fast racing thoughts and interconnecting memories and images when I first started EMDR. My practitioner was using hand-buzzers and I had my eyes closed. Later she got a light-bar and that really helped to focus the sessions. For me it was only helpful to work on a very small specific memory/experience target and not let it spiral into everything traumatic that ever happened to me. My practitioner described it as finding the therapeutic window of tolerance.

After a while with the lightbar, sessions began to stall out, where I would not find total relief. She experimented via consultation with her mentor/supervisor and used a higher speed for the alternating flashes. That helped greatly. Then when my symptoms over the original trauma that I was seeking treatment for stalled out again in not really improving to an optimal/minimal baseline, my provider wanted to target early-trauma more directly. We did that, and I found I could tolerate the sessions, but outside of the session I was quite dissociative and decided it was too disruptive in my current life to target early-trauma.

Now we sometimes use the bilateral stimulation for Resource Development and Installation and make sure it doesn't trigger trauma memories/beliefs. I've had the nausea stuff too, but I never ended up throwing up. I have had EMDR trigger dissociative ego-states that were not properly mitigated. I don't want that to happen again, but I've found that being clear and assertive about my experience and goals has helped me get enough benefit to make EMDR useful to me.

 

[Powder]

Does EMDR not work so well for complex, early childhood traumas with ego states?

 

[dharmaBum]

I think there are accepted protocol adaptions for this scenario Muse. I think that if ego states meld into dissociation, the primary strategy of EMDR isn't as applicable, because the idea is that the client should be fully present while able to selectively attend to past events without becoming nontherapeutically overwhelmed. I know there is a book out there that I found on google reader that goes into working with dissociative clients in EMDR, but the title is not coming to me.

 

[therapybankrupt]

Hi PTSD suffer! My experience with the EMDR include: vomiting, burping, crying, rocking, dissociating, quiet grieving with sobbing and blowing my nose mostly. Some times there are beautiful memories that come back and very cool visions of love of self associated with my inner child. This for me has not changed as of yet with the EMDR processing.

Generally at the end of processing which can take one pass or three sessions of several passes my mind changes the story. I reprocess the way I wished I had done at the time because I was always frozen in fear. Stopping the action of the abuser by perhaps bitting, yelling, lecturing, kicking. Next I feel calm and walk away. I do not force any of these thoughts I watch it like a movie in my mind. It takes one or two passes. It feel so good I want to reprocess for ever. Then to safe place. Its done!

Do also note this is only after one year of preparation and about seven one and a half hour sessions. Three major trauma seem to be done. I found also that once you figure out how you reacted to your first trauma in cases of child sex abuse it becomes the way you function in your life . For me I froze, did nothing and dissociated. After the first trauma you react to new abuse in a similar way through out your future. Wow I can look back and see it! It became so clear.

Does EMDR not work so well for complex, early childhood traumas with ego states?

Hi Muse! Do you mean fragmentation when you speak of ego states. The EMDR worked better using the inner children that presented themselves with early child hood multiple traumas. Actually that preparation made the EMDR for me easier and less confusing. The trauma was more strait forward with the memory recollection. As far as the dissociative aspects that dharmaBum mentioned. My therapist and I actually both know when this is happening. We always stop and ground. I gain control faster now and we go directly back to EMDR for processing. This has taken practice.

Sending all the members going through EMDR a Hug tonight! TB

 

[Powder]

Thanks so much TherapyBankrupt for sharing your EMDR experience and development. You have given me hope that this could possibly be a path of healing for me when I can get this help.

What did you mean, if you don't mind my asking, about a year of fragment memory work?
And, did you have a hard time finding a therapist you could trust and not push away/leave?

I can't seem to keep a therapist.

THanks!

 

[intrasearching]

Afterwards I feel bad for a few days. I suppose it it things shifting around inside of my brain.

Like you it also makes me feel bad for a few days afterwards. Yesterday in EMDR I worked on my phobia of insanity. Because of some things in my family history, I have a couple mental illness-related traumatic memories, and then developed a fear that I would one day lose my mind. I worked directly on that yesterday, and lo and behold, that night and throughout much of today I have been a total mess! My anxiety shot way up, and I felt some moments of sadness mixed in with my anxiety. My fear of insanity was really killing me inside and all day I was obsessing over it, deciding that I had indeed lost my mind for real this time. It's amazing how hypervigilance can convince you that the dangers you most fear are present and real.

Anyway, it seems like in dealing with a certain issue in EMDR I experience all of the pain associated with that issue for at least a day or so afterwards. What hell! I have been so upset, so scared for the last 24 hours or so. I did hear before that in doing this kind of work things often get worse before they get better. At least something is happening!

 

[therapybankrupt]

EMDR is not a walk in the park. But as everyone said the practitioner or Therapist is the key. You can check the qualifications on line. Yes there is processing that continues after you go home. You need to take care of yourself. Call therapist for any discomfort. You can do another session right away to resolve or finish a issue. The couple session's were the worst for me. I needed to stop and add more preparation because the EMDR revealed hidden or amnesia trauma memories. To no ones fault! It was not known. So this is not an easy process but if you have a trusted well educated and prepared therapist it is life altering.

Therapy has been over a year now. Weekly at one and a half hours. Additional sessions if in distress. My mind is clearer and the memory is kicking butt. Cleaning all that garbage out has helped my concentration considerably. I am not there yet but I am looking forward to reinventing myself after finishing the therapy. I am so capable of returning to my functioning self!

I think the body memories were very disturbing if they lingered. Thats when I found out you can do more than one session in a week. Right now things are moving very quickly and I suspect I will finish in six months the longest. This by far has been the most helpful in my then years of therapy. I never did exposure therapy but I cant imagine it being easier than EMDR. DBT and CBT stabilized me. Talk therapy was crap for me. EMDR means freedom to me.

tb

Anyway, it seems like in dealing with a certain issue in EMDR I experience all of the pain associated with that issue for at least a day or so afterwards. What hell! I have been so upset, so scared for the last 24 hours or so.

Call your therapist! Discuss what you can do. If it is body memories that are lingering go in an do another session right away. This process is not easy. You can expect some discomfort. Always talk to the therapist about this they may be able to help you in ways you would never think of.

 

[therapybankrupt]

What did you mean, if you don't mind my asking, about a year of fragment memory work?
And, did you have a hard time finding a therapist you could trust and not push away/leave

Hi muse! After starting the EMDR I had distress because of traumatic memories I did not remember. We did inner child work then. I explored my broken off or fragments of me. The times as a child I was so injured I dissociated causing fragmentation due to fear of the traumas. Not alters. It was a healing process for those parts of me I was unaware of. It was a process of loving myself as a whole being.

It seems because of the type of trauma I had. I hated myself for what happened. This helped me begin to heal. I learned to change how I talked and treated myself. Very different work at first I was skeptical but now I understand its importance. I do not think of it often anymore. Just another part of the healing and learning that was necessary to grow and move forward.

tb

 

[intrasearching]

Call your therapist! Discuss what you can do. If it is body memories that are lingering go in an do another session right away. This process is not easy. You can expect some discomfort. Always talk to the therapist about this they may be able to help you in ways you would never think of.

By body memories are you referring to the pent up feelings that don't always have a clear memory attached to it? If so, I'm definitely getting those.

Thank you for your wonderful input. It means the world to me to know others understand and relate to my experience...

I will consider contacting my therapist before our next session if things get worse. I seem to be handling OK for now. *fingers crossed*

 

[therapybankrupt]

y body memories are you referring to the pent up feelings that don't always have a clear memory attached to it? If so, I'm definitely getting those.

Body memories can be anything that you feel when linked to the trauma. Anything you felt when in the initial trauma you feel now. A very cool way my T addresses these lingering or stuck physical feeling is to use my third eye during EMDR and look inside at the pain or ill feelings to describe what it looks like. Then we do more passes I just sit with it and fill her in with what happens.

Sometimes the body memory was so strong it would not let up and I visualized putting warm sand on it to heal the area of discomfort. This issues resolved when done in EMDR and they have yet to return. Occasionally taking an hour and a half session to resolve. I suffer a body memory with most every trauma. I have not knowing I could go back and do another session in the same week suffered needlessly for Five days. When doing the rating for EMDR on the trauma I always check in physically to! Best wishes intrasearching on your journey to wellness!

tb