EMDR feeling successful, then feeling totally drained

[bee60]

Hi everyone,

I’ve been in EMDR therapy for about 2 months, and I have a long history of C-PTSD. I like my therapist a lot, and we’ve reprocessed some minor, and some major, trauma. For the first time in my life, I feel like I’m seeing a positive change in myself from therapy. I’m less reactive, less “ready to jump into action” so to speak, I’ve been less anxious, and I find myself using the coping skills I’ve learned often.

However, there’s one side effect that’s.. odd? Foreign to me maybe?

For the first 1-3 days after a session, I’m feeling good. Productive, etc etc. After that however, some weeks, I can barely peel myself from my bed. I just want to rest. I want to take naps, I want to lounge and do nothing (which isn’t like me at all.) I’m normally uncomfortable if I’m not doing something.

My therapist said that this is my body finally beginning to find what safety feels like, what rest safely feels like. My nervous system adjusting to healing trauma.

I don’t hate the rest I crave, I like it. It’s just… new for me, and I feel lazy for it.

Has anyone else whose completed EMDR experienced this, and did it improve?

Thank you all, and I hope everyone here has a good day.

 

[Freddyt]

For the first 1-3 days after a session, I’m feeling good. Productive, etc etc. After that however, some weeks, I can barely peel myself from my bed. I just want to rest. I want to take naps, I want to lounge and do nothing (which isn’t like me at all.) I’m normally uncomfortable if I’m not doing something.

EMDR Hangover. It just happens. At times it starts before I leave my T's office, sometimes later. It can be very different for different people or different based on what you are working on in therapy.

I have never found a way to avoid it and when I came here I found its a normal part of EMDR.

Think of it this way, your brain is sorting through memories like a card file, finding the ones with the feelings you worked on in therapy, and changing those memories. It can be very mentaly tiring at times.

 

[Dark.Green.Feathers]

i haven’t done full on EMDR yet but i do parts of it in therapy, just a little bit, safe enough dose for me and not as intense as the actual EMDR full version but even just doing the resourcing like that… exhausting!
therapy with any kind of processing wipes me out.
the improvement i can feel it and it is happeneing but oh it makes me so tired and i can be wiped out for weeks also i think. so yeah fallout after even helpful thrapy is normal i think, brain reshuffling and wiring and arranging, and new stuf having the space to come to the surface, old stuff being finally put to bed (or closer to) and everything. It is a lot of work!! for your brain.

that’s why therapy is hard to explain for me, yes! it is helping!! no, i am not feeling great and more able than before right now! it is really really not linear at all. things get better INSIDE and then it’s harder outside (and also inside!) for a while.

does it get better? im not sure, i guess it depends what better means to you. i think you get better skills at managing the fallout and stuff, or looking after yourself during, and things can hit less hard but i think a lotof it depends on whaf it is youre processing. sometimes i feel surprisingly alright and sometimes i really get hit. that’s my experience anyway! not really predictable but i understand it enough now that i can ride it out and kind of know what i need to and not to do, when it happens.

Someone I know whose been through EMDR says it gets so much worse before it gets better and i can say the same. My therapist has always said i need to be in a good place environmentally / current events wise if we ever are to do actual EMDR. And same for trauma therapy in general. It is very tiring and destabilising… and it works!! when it’s good it's actually good but also when it’s good it’s not going to be nice either. just in the “it’s working” way and not “my therapist is terrible and making things worse” way.



Processing trauma sucks, for body and brain it is not like taking a weight off, more like suddenly feeling all the effects of carrying the weight all that time and how that’s been straining ur mind and body.. and Then feeling the nice effect of not holding it anymore. Have to feel the thing -and then recover from that, and then it’s ok, then onto the next thing that’s floated up.

If you get too cold for too long it goes numb but then warming back up can hurt Bad before you can enjoy not freezing anymore.

Not lazy at all, it’s painful to feel like ur losing ability/going backwards with therapy but it is normal and real. I feel tired just having typed About it.

 

[arfie]

hello bee. welcome to the forum.

i did my formal therapy before emdr coalesced, but that feeling of exhaustion accompanied every single one of my therapy breakthroughs, no exceptions. i took it as a positive sign that i was reaching the deepest wounds. i process far more deeply during sleep than i can with the chaos of the day distracting me,

 

[Movingforward10]

I haven't done EDMR but what you describe I think is common with trauma therapy? And when we have used adaptive strategies of keeping busy to occupy our minds. And when our bodies hold all that energy/adrenaline from the trauma.
It makes sense that as we address the trauma, how we hold it in our bodies will change.
We need rest. We need stillness. And that stillness no longer feels as threatening as it used to.

I kind of see it like grief. When someone dies: everything slows down and my body just 'pauses'. It takes me forever to do nothing.
It's me healing and processing.
And I think it's the same as processing trauma in many ways. That taking forever to do nothing. The pausing.
I find/found it quite frustrating. But I also have come to accept it.
It's a sign of healing?

 

[bee60]

I kind of see it like grief. When someone dies: everything slows down and my body just 'pauses'. It takes me forever to do nothing.
It's me healing and processing.
And I think it's the same as processing trauma in many ways. That taking forever to do nothing. The pausing.

This is a very good way to put it. It’s sort of like that part of me is… unbecoming, or evolving, and new neurons are waiting to become. I was trying to describe how I was feeling to my fiancé a few days prior to making this post, and I phrased it as “I feel like I want to hibernate.” But the way you put it makes more sense to me. Thank you for your insight. Trauma therapy is new to me, and it hurts, but I’ll be darned, I think it’s working so far. And what a gift that is.

 

[bee60]

hello bee. welcome to the forum.

i did my formal therapy before emdr coalesced, but that feeling of exhaustion accompanied every single one of my therapy breakthroughs, no exceptions. i took it as a positive sign that i was reaching the deepest wounds. i process far more deeply during sleep than i can with the chaos of the day distracting me,

Thank you so so much. Trauma therapy itself is new to me, though I’ve done CBT, DBT, you name it otherwise. You’re spot on about sleep. The need for rest does feel positive for me as well, just so new to my body that’s used to “we need to stay moving” mode. Sleep as well.. I’ve found that after a particularly.. intense/breakthrough session, my dreams for a day or two will be the most nonsense melting pot of memories. I’ve never had fabulous dreams, but these are next level. It’s very interesting how our brains process. I really appreciate your insight, as I’ve suffered for years, and this is my first time doing something where I’m seeing success. Thank you truly, and all the best of luck and healing on your journey.

 

[bee60]

EMDR Hangover. It just happens. At times it starts before I leave my T's office, sometimes later. It can be very different for different people or different based on what you are working on in therapy.

I have never found a way to avoid it and when I came here I found its a normal part of EMDR.

Think of it this way, your brain is sorting through memories like a card file, finding the ones with the feelings you worked on in therapy, and changing those memories. It can be very mentaly tiring at times.

Thank you. I have heard of the EMDR hangover, but I guess I assumed (you know what they say about assuming haha) that the hangover would be the day of or day after. Typically, I feel great after a session and the following day. This is usually 3-4 days after, like a slow fall a bit.

I like your comparison to a card file. My therapist says something similar, about your brain and trauma being a bit like computer programs needing to reset and reprogram.

I do really appreciate your insight. This is all new to me. Therapy itself, I’ve been in a long time, but something that’s helping me? This is a whole new world. Thank you for sharing your experience with me. Even though it’s hard work, I can’t even describe how grateful I am to have found something that’s even kind of working.

Much appreciation, and best of luck to you wherever you are in your journey. :)

 

[arfie]

I’ve found that after a particularly.. intense/breakthrough session, my dreams for a day or two will be the most nonsense melting pot of memories.

ditto, but growing up sharing a bed with two sisters to share my dreams with every morning gave me unusually vivid dream recall. in my engineering graphics career, a talent that didn't quite fit on my resume but earned me quite a few word-of-mouth referrals is what science calls, "dream solving." that is where a scientist goes to sleep with a problem and wakes up with the solution. science history is chockful of examples. personally

my sensory data has me wondering if the post therapy dreams are of the same nature. the psycho snot knots i am in therapy for touch unknown and unpredictable parts of my psyche. is that "nonsense melting pot of memories" an untangling of those psycho snot knots?

 

[Freddyt]

Thank you. I have heard of the EMDR hangover, but I guess I assumed (you know what they say about assuming haha) that the hangover would be the day of or day after. Typically, I feel great after a session and the following day. This is usually 3-4 days after, like a slow fall a bit.

Yes it can be weird. I will admit a lot of work was done before the latest EMDR standard was released, so I'm not positive it will behave the same.
Hard for me to qualify if there are changes as I am not really moving along in therapy lately. Not the therapies fault, just that how do I say, there's a huge ball of "stuff" that started with a bunch of trauma's and moral injuries in a few hours.

 

[Friday]

Thank you. I have heard of the EMDR hangover, but I guess I assumed (you know what they say about assuming haha) that the hangover would be the day of or day after. Typically, I feel great after a session and the following day. This is usually 3-4 days after, like a slow fall a bit.

There’s a bit of a bell curve that happens. In 2 ways.

Therapy Hangover Part One - Immediate/Delayed Effects & Duration

- For some peoole? The effects are immediate, but short lived. They’re gonna be wrecked for the rest of that day, but wake up fine tomorrow… or only be wrecked for a few hours, fine by lunch or dinner.
- For some people? The effects are immediate, but have some serious leeeeegs. Wrecked today, tomorrow, up to the next week or so.
- For most people? There’s a bit of a delay, but in a few hours or by the next morning, they’re gonna be wrecked.
- For some people? There’s a bit of a delay, and then the sucker’s got some serious legs.
- For some people? There a big delay, but in a day or three? They’re gonna feel it!

Therapy Hangover Part Two - Intensity over time, in relation to what’s being worked on, and skills they’ve learned.

- A few
- Some
- Most
- Some
- A Few

^^^ That ^^^ With how intense the reaction is in relation to how new / how skilled they are at trauma therapy, what’s being processed, & how practiced they are at mitigating the effects. For most people? It gets easier as they get better/more practiced, so the “little” things that crush them in the beginning? Are worse than their big bad juju, later. With people who are the opposite in it staying just as hard, always, no matter what they do; and people for whom it gets harder over time.


***

It makes sense to me that PTSDpeeps handle the effects & after effects of PROCESSING trauma differently, as PTSDpeeps also handle EXPERIENCING trauma differently. <<< I’m so durn predictable on the delayed reaction thing, that when something happens in my life that my employers / etc. want to grant me bereavement leave, or take a few days, and everything in between? I’ve learned I really need to get it in writing from most jobs/bosses that I WILL need that time… but not now. Sometime over the next few months to a year I’m just gonna flip a switch and be fine one breath & shattered the next, and need to take that time off. I won’t know when it will happen, but it will happen, and I’ll reeeeally need that time off.

It’s not uncommon at all for people to have a BIT of a delay, showing up to work the next day, next few weeks, and then have to knock on the office door & take them up on the time off. But my fig fat long delay is uncommon enough, that no matter how understanding & sure-sure-sure, just let me know in the moment? 8 months later they’re just like… C’mon. No. It was almost a year ago. WTF? Use your vacation time, or quit, I’m not approving time off for BS. (Or, just finish out this project, or this month, or any other arbitrary time period they’d never attempt to negotiate if your mom died yesterday, kind of thing). So Either straight up rejection, or behaviour they’d never tolerate in others or themselves, if it was inside their own experience of “when” people “should” be a wreck. C’est moi? I’m find in the moment, and it suddenly hits me… later. Much later.

Shrug.

So that therapy-hangovers HAPPEN? Drop dead normal with PTSD. But when, and for how long, & at what intensity? Bell curves.