Emdr Question About Memory

[Deleted member 38383]

I'm new here; sorry in advance if I'm doing this wrong. Anyway, my therapist says she wants me to try EMDR. On a brochure she gave me about it, it says that it shouldn't be done, for example, if your testimony is expected in an upcoming court case because with EMDR memories may fade. My question is about the fading of memories. While I don't have any court case to worry about, my trauma-related memories, though horrific and painful, are also very precious to me. The trauma is related to the birth and death of my daughter and those memories are all I have of her. I want to get better--I need to get some relief from these flashbacks and nightmares--; but, I don't want the memories of her to be lost even a little. Does this make any sense? Am I worrying about something that doesn't need to be a concern? Hoping someone who has done EMDR could maybe share what happened to the clarity of their memories after EMDR. Thanks.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

(((becky0302)))
Welcome to the Forum! You are in the right place for sure!

I have had EMDR, and I have lost a daughter. I still have ALL the memories, but was able to "reframe" them so that I could more easily be able to remember her with less pain. I was "stuck" in the anger and grief for over 10 years, and the EMDR really helped with the flashbacks and nightmares. I understand your fears, and wanting to remember everything. Rest assured you won't forget something so deep and profound.

I am sorry that you have lost a daughter...it's SO VERY painful! It's been 23 years this year, and the memories are just as fresh as the day I held her. We knew from her birth that she wouldn't live into adulthood. She was born with severe brain damage, but we had her for 11 years. The doctors thought she MIGHT make it to 3 years, but they underestimated her resilience.

Blessings to you....I hope this relieves your mind a bit. I can get more detailed if you would like. I can tell her story without much pain now. I believe she is doing all the things she couldn't do here on earth. I really related to Forrest Gump, when he ran and his braces came off. It was just like I pictured my Dina, throwing off her braces and wheelchair, and was able to speak, and run around singing. I think she is STILL talking and dancing.

I hope to "see" you soon. I am glad you found us!
AKJ:hug:

www.spaciousskies.me/Dina/

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Although I have only had one EMDR session that went bad because I wasn't ready and we haven't gone back to it yet, the way my therapist explained EMDR to me (as in layman's terms) is the past gets shifted to the background and filed into longterm memory where they belong and the happy good memories more into the foreground.

PTSD is reliving the past as if it was happening today. That is what EMDR helps. That reliving it as if it were the present and all the symptoms that happens with that.

But you don't just forget the trauma. Other than brain damage or denial or drugs, I have not seen anything that forces you to forget trauma or I'd do it. And those last two as temp "forgetting" anyway.

I have never heard of EMDR explained in a way as saying you don't have the memories anymore. It's more you don't have the effects of those memories anymore.

 

[Crow]

I haven't lost memories but the cutting emotional edge has been softened. I actually remembered more details of certain things.

 

[Seasounds]

Welcome to this forum! You are sincere and dedicated to your growth. I think you will find good company here.

Regarding grief memories being precious, yes, I understand this through my experience. They are treasured moments for me, through this day. The difference for me, from your experience Is that grief counseling was effective for me, over time.

After counseling and time, those special moments don't cause me to collapse in grief or depression. Now, because I've created a new center-where I am whole without the person,

From that new vantage point (liken unto the new framework-that a previous member noted in this thread from using EMDR), I remember those intimate and joyful moments, while feeling peaceful and grateful, most (95%) of the time. Surely, this time of year is when some of the 5% of the sad vestiges of grief surface.

Regarding EMDR, I've had friends whose grief and flashbacks were helped through EMDR sessions.

Good luck on your journey!
:hug:

 

[BlueOrange]

Nobody really knows how EMDR works, but we believe that it modifies something about how memory is stored. So, if you're planning to testify in court, then anything that might allow a lawyer to cast doubt on your testimony would be a bad thing.

My experience is that EMDR has connected things together more, not made anything go missing.

 

[Deleted member 38383]

What great feedback and insights. It is a relief and very encouraging; thank you!

 

[Keming]

Did EMDR for five months. It's a light hypnotic suggestion guided by the therapist - nothing else. If hypnotherapy sounds good to you, let 'er rip.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

@Pteredacted ...Well said...short and to the point! My therapist explained EMDR as a way of getting into the subconscious area of our brain. The amygdala is the "memory keeper" of our brain, and it is responsible for processing emotions, and memories. EMDR targets that area.

I chose my therapist specifically because he was trained in EMDR. I had stopped therapy because I had talked, and talked, and talked, but never got very far. A friend had been traumatized sexually by a male physician, and was fearful of being alone in a room with a male professional. I sat in on her sessions, out of sight, and watched as the therapist "guided" her from tears, to a look of total peace on her face. The change was PROFOUND! As we left, I asked if I could be seen by him. He agreed, and my healing since then, has been huge, and I process my emotions in a much better way now.

I hope that you will have similar success!:tup: