Emdr-vent/support

[Deleted member 37474]

Did a tiny trauma piece for the first time yesterday. My brain felt like mush. I disassociated one time. I love my T. "Texcat, where are you?"
I went to Christmas twice in the long set. Dreams last night. Same fear/weak theme. Woke up once in a panic attack. I can see how this is working and why grounding is so important. And it all really sucks. On my drive just now, flashback is evolving. I am getting tired of the weak feeling. At this point I am imagining a kill bill persona and kicking him and screaming at him to "get the f*ck off of me." Well, that is new. :bored: :tup: Maybe, something is happening here.

Please share your experiences with emdr here?!?

 

[Crow]

Twenty years ago my therapist got one of those light bars. She had used her hand to direct eye movement up till that point. The first time we used the light bar, I completely disociated. I left the office not sure where I was or who I was. I'm amazed I caught the correct bus. Next day I woke up in the strongest mania I've ever experienced. Hypersexual. Hyperactive. Hyperfocused. Hypersocial. Lasted several weeks. During it I decided to move back to my home city and put in notice at work. I loved the lightness of the mania but regret moving back.