Hi Ashley, maybe couple counseling would help.
Us PTSD survivors need family support not more stress & anxiety. I have no family support except for my one Aunt I reconnected last year at my half cousins funeral services. Something awesome came out of a very sad situation. She's 74 yrs old & was told all lies about me. She now knows the truth & we speak regularly. She tells me about my grandmother who died when I was only 2. They are both wise women who are teaching me how to get me back. Of course my grandmother is gone, but my Aunt tells me things her mother would tell her my father never said a word about.
This would have been my 3rd Christmas without my granddaughters because the "parents" retaliated against me for reporting abuse that came out credible in my Grandparent Rights case that I just won yesterday.
My Christmas present in 2010 was this guy who wanted me, but I only wanted friendship. On Christmas eve he acted like my friend saying, "Come out tonight. I'm worried about you being alone on Christmas without your granddaughters & daughter for the 1st time ever." He bought a ham & all the trimmings for Christmas day dinner. He also bought a bottle of long island iced teas. I told him I didn't want to drink because I was on 20 mgs of Valium. He said, "Oh, just one won't hurt." I said, "No, I can't just stop at 1 & all it will take is for 1 person to do or say something wrong for me to snap." He said, "I'll make sure that doesn't happen."
Well, one lead into a complete black out. I woke up the next morning to him laying in bed next to me. I was sick to my stomach as the flashbacks were coming back. I ran out of his son's place with everyone watching me.
I came home immediately washing him off of me. I sat in a fetal position in the shower balling my eyes out. I wanted to throw up. I blamed myself for putting myself in that situation with alcohol because I knew better. The next week he tells me he crushed up 3 blue Xanax in my drink making the drinks stronger each time. He told me I was fine until this girl told me my thong was showing on the side as I was dancing around to music. He said my head spun around & I went after her, but others locked her in a room so I couldn't beat her. Then I found out she was only 17. I reported him to the rape center months later.
Besides the date rapist, I now blame my daughter because if she would have stood by me instead of her abusive jerk, I would not have been in that situation. I would have been sober eating Christmas eve with my girls as we did before he turned her against me. I just try not 2 think about it anymore just like all the other horrible things that "men" have done 2 me. They will all get their KARMA!
My 1st husband would grab me by the throat throwing me on the bed with our 1 year old daughter(same 1 as above) in the same room sleeping, spousal raping me. One time he woke me up to wiping something wet on my arm saying, "I hope it was as good for you as it was for me." Here he masturbated & wiped it on me. I was going to blow him up with the gas stove. Glad I didn't because for the past 7 years he has been suffering from throat cancer. Now that is KARMA at its best!
My Aunt tells me the Lord is making him suffer so long because he has not yet repented for what he did to me at 23 yrs old. I have 2 others dead from what they did to me & probably others.
Hold your head high & be strong. God only gives us what we can handle. Trust me it took me a long time to believe this also, but it's true.
Best wishes, Sweetie! You are in my prayers.
