Emotional Intimacy/ closeness in therapy


New Here
How exactly or specifically does therapeutic emotional intimacy / closeness between the patient and Therapist look like and feel like?

And how to know if a therapist might be overly distant, more than the required professional distance?


New Here
Can you differentiate transference in the past and the dynamic of here and now with her?
Well I have felt this transference towards a teacher a few years ago but I'd say this time it's stronger. But in both cases it was/is the same type.
Yes I know that it would be complete unethical from her so she keeps the professional boundaries up, even if they really hurt

I think most therapists have hard time differentiating because they may get lost mystifying the process.

Can you entertain the idea as close as you can get, there is a limitation physically and emotionally on both parts you and her?

If you want her to act and feel like a mother, it is ethically wrong for her to pursue that intentionally. One recovery of abandonment is allowing the pain in you so you can move through rather than attempt to make the reality to fit in with your internal experience.
Not too sure if she really understands but just had a phone call with her where she stated that a goal if therapy could be that I strengthen my social relationships (which might play into my strong feelings towards her) tbh I feel that at the moment she is the most important person, and what she said is quite a bit the opposite of what she said yesterday.

Yesterday she said "it shouldn't be so close (like not the usual close) and just now she said it's fine (she referred to the frequent contact in-between sessions , even if I dont have "a crisis" and in that situation of course am allowed to contact her. Obv she talked about this (and other things) with supervisors and colleagues and the colleagues said it's out of what is typically the rule for in between contact. Not saying she overcrosses boundaries, which she does not but I probably really get more than what she gets paid for and what is usually a rule in CBT / CBT combined with schema therapy approach...

But I also noticed that the causes until now at least haven't been discussed (what's the reason for example that I often get triggered by her negatively or positively and my guess really is not "because I don't have enough strong other connections outside therapy" but it probably is rather my overall relationship theme that I so badly see this wish in her to be my mum To meet all those deeply unmet childhood needs. For now it might be good that she really tries to give me what I want and need (therapeutically) but I definitely recognized she gives more than for example my last therapist ..
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