Couples counselling isn’t an option. He’s pushed me away so far I’m not sure there’s any hope of returning. He has told me for months he can’t give me what I want (time & effort) and when I finally listened to him and accepted it he lost his mind and blamed me for it. I told him that he should take time and focus on his healing and our relationship wasn’t getting the attention it deserved so we should take a break…. For him and I. I asked him/ begged him for days to talk about it and he became angry and volatile and then blamed me for it, saying it was my fault for pushing him. I can’t win with this man so I’ve learned to accept my losses and look after me.You don't need to tolerate this behavior. PTSD isn't an excuse, and sometimes sufferers will try and explain where the behavior comes from, but the truth is - it's just the disorder. Your husband is capable of becoming more self-aware and taking responsibility for his reactivity. It doesn't mean the reactivity will go away - but the problem isn't you reaching out, the problem is his inability or unwillingness to face his behavior and how it affects you.
Have you looked into couples counseling, even short-term, to build some communication skills around this, together?