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Why Do Sufferers Push Their Partners Away?

Discussion in 'Supporter Relationships' started by blue_eyes18, Mar 4, 2014.

  1. Wtfiswrong

    Wtfiswrong Member

    How did you achieve these skill sets? I guess he wpjld
    you are truly insightful!

    I just found out My 40 year old bf of a year and half who sufferes from c-PTSD(childhood) has been talking and flirting with girls on social media pretty much the entire time. When I confronted him he said he didn't consider it cheating and was a way to escape.when I asked him to please explain to me how he could do this to me , to us. He told me I forced him to stay in the relationship and he should have gotten out sooner. But on the other hand he hadn't actually done anything wrong. And did it to get his mind off stress and keep occupied. I mean holy what the. We are both grown adults here. How can I force anything? He doesn't currently have a job he goes to everyday, he spend a lot of time home alone unhappy while I am at work.

    My questions is we have are both adults who spend 4-6 nights together a week. We have spoken about future plans. It's like another human did this. He has suffered from ptsd since I met him struggling everyday. I just don't get it. Does ptsd cause you to do things that are out of chatachter? Could I have been so blind by his ptsd that I didn't see he was lying cheater?
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  3. Justmehere

    Justmehere Defying the odds Moderator Premium Member

    @Wtfiswrong - that seems like a great new topic to start a new thread of its own so you can get more feedback from a number of people.
    Mytime, dulcia, TreeHugger and 2 others like this.
  4. Nicolette

    Nicolette ♡ Supporter Admin ♡ Supporter Admin Sponsor $100+

    @Wtfiswrong - @Justmehere is correct - start a new thread if you want to discuss a specific issue otherwise it may get lost. :)
    Mytime and hodge like this.
  5. PTSDWife

    PTSDWife Guest

    This was extremely informative. I could relate right down to the "I wouldn't ignore him". The first few days are an emotional ball of fire. All the crying and sadness and the why's. Then a few days later its the rational thinking, the first text from him. They are oblivious to the world and the people around them. I'm just now learning all about PTSD and the effects. This is the 2nd time my spouse of 22 years has bolted. First was for less than 24 hours, this time was 6 days. Though I knew where he was finally. I let him be. All men need time away and a little space from all the pressures. But sometimes when they are having an episode, you just want to punch them and tell them to grow up. (not a suggestion)
  6. Beans

    Beans Well-Known Member

    Jesus this is so spot on it's scary
    Junebug likes this.
  7. Songbird

    Songbird Member

    Hey, I realize this is an old post but are you still active? Would like to speak with you further to see how your relationship is doing now.
  8. lostforgottensoul

    lostforgottensoul I'm a VIP Premium Member Sponsor $100+

    I would say no since they have only posted 9 times, the last one being 11/14/14.

    You can see the last a peraon posted by clicking on their username and on the popup, click the number next to messages. It will give you all of their post from the most recent.

    Sorry to take the thread off topic. Shutting jp now.
    Songbird likes this.
  9. LittleMermaid

    LittleMermaid New Member


    Hi Yourghost,

    I'm going through something very similar and it is extremely difficult for me to handle the situation given the fact that we just started being in a romantic relationship and he checked out on me just a few weeks into it. Additionally, we are long distance, so I am having such a hard time understanding what is happening. How he can be so in love one minute and be entirely detached the next.
    How long have you been with him? What are some things that are helping you both deal with the situation?
  10. Birdy82

    Birdy82 Guest

    I am going through this with my boyfriend right now ..and trying very hard to understand...He is running from me and I haven't seen him in almost a month. ..I text him good morning every day and I get a good morning back but nothing more ...I am hanging on to that because I in my heart believe it is his way of letting me know he is still there....I figure if he was going to leave me or break up..why wouldn't he just do that or no response at all...it's so hard to understand I have read a lot about Ptsd ...and I know I am not supposed to take it personal...and Im trying to be patient not pushing him..should I hold on to that good morning?
  11. Birdy82

    Birdy82 Guest

    Thank you so much for sharing I have tears in my eyes..because you have given me hope....This is my first time of going through this with my guy and reading what you are going through gives me such a better understanding I have read hours about ptsd and it's helped some but like like this has...it's been 3 weeks i send him a good morning text and i do get a good morning but no more. ..but i hang on to that because i want to think positive and believe that ...that his way of telling me he is still there. Thanks again so very much!
  12. dubliner38

    dubliner38 New Member

    I got to ask are yous in counseling of some kind
  13. Mach123

    Mach123 Well-Known Member Premium Member Donated

    I have to test them. It's brutal, again, a pathology. They have to prove it, and earn it. It's easy to say that now. It comes from the subconscious. (IMO) It's like "you're going to leave me anyway, everyone does." Then if you're really lucky you'll be looking at someone someday and realize you hit them with everything you had and they're still there. And they hit you back with everything they had, and you're still there. A worthy opponent.
    lostforgottensoul, LuckiLee and Sietz like this.
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