Emotional Roller Coaster Relationship>..

[NCO1969]

Hi this is my first post, I am going thru some troubled times, I thought I could handle the dreams, anxieties attributed to our new shadow.

I have been on Celexa on and off about 2 years. When I was active duty I never spoke to a head Shrink because of the risk of sinking my career, I was a single parent after Desert Storm (The marriage was a hurtful event) so I had much to risk.

I have had the Panic attacks for no reason, hard time trusting, low self esteem at times and down right depressed. I have noticed is that I focus on the relationship I am in more then I ever did.

Recently Celexa hasnt been working, I spoke to a Doctor who put me on some meds that start with a M (Sorry cant remember the name) after 2 weeks on that I lost control was angry at stupid things, my Girlfriend was the brunt of some of it, It wasnt phsical and to be honest what I was mad about was stupid, we always talk I explained how I felt and what was wrong, she is a great woman and I want to keep her, its not everyday you meet someone your family actually likes. I may have ruined it because I dont think she understands that that this thing we have really plays games with us. I explained the situation with the meds, that i thought it to be a factor.

I know i am stronger then this, and will work hard to get a better handle on it, just hate the meds and issues you have with some of them. I quickly went back to my doctor (who I am seeing once a week) and had the meds changed, we increased the dosage of celexa. I hate how sleepie I get and the sex drive isnt as strong, this worries me.

My question here is can you have a relationship while having PTSD? I feel so alone at times even after a full weekend with my GF.

2nd Question does anyone have issues with seeing things on TV that causes issues. like plane crashes explosions? Please remember this is my first post I just dont know what to do. I have talked to my Doctor about this she said we will need time..

 

[ISupportHer]

I am not a sufferer, but I will answer form my perspective. I do think it's possible but I do think the shorter relationships are easier to "bail" on. Just my observation, Even longer length marriages can be strained though. But I see it as possible to have a relationship if both are open and willing to work at it. It can be damned hard.

My wife definately has issues with some shows. So, even if she doesn't want to speak up about changing the channel, I do. No big deal. There are plenty of TV options.

Gkad you felt you could post, by the way.

ISH

 

[Linda Lee Bogard - King]

Relationships are difficult but PTSD relationships can be extreme - if two have PTSD well, it is interesting to say the least but having a relationship is not impossible - it takes work, tears with plenty of patience and understanding. As for TV shows, yes.... scenes bring on certain memories and it is hard not to have a trigger go off.... So, I get up and walk away if I feel it coming on....

 

[friendlybadger]

I get the alone feeling. I get that alot too. It gets better when you can distract yourself by doing things, but the best thing I found is to figure out what's behind feeling alone--like, is it from abandonment as a child or something like that that you've carried around for a long time and the ptsd is bringing out.

Yes things on tv can trigger ptsd to flare up. I can be triggered by alot of things - smells, certain times of year, etc. Anything really that reminds me of the trauma that caused my ptsd. Trying not to be 'triggered' can turn into a full-time job though, lol. At first, I avoided triggers but over the last few years I've learned to face them--that takes time though and it requires a good counselor to see you through.

You said that you're "stronger than this" but this isn't a contest to see how much you can take, know what I mean? You're dealing with a very real trauma inside you that needs to process, however you can. Meds don't make you weak--I used to think that too. My psychiatrist upped my dose which sent me into a tizzy because "I'm stronger than that"--I didn't want to admit I needed a dosage adjustment, it seemed to me like a failure on my part. But it's not. It just takes time to accept that.

 

[hoping-to-heal]

Hi, I am new here, and i am not the best writer lol but I just wanted to share something while I am here anyway. First, I'd like to agree with the comment about "this thing plays games with us". I think that is an awesome way to describe it. I think that's why it is so hard to keep a relationship on the up and up on a good day (for most) and how it can go sour so fast. I often refer to these "things" as my demons and I have a demon for certain things that have happened to me. As long as i don't let these demons take over, things are alright. But fighting them is an ongoing battle and I know they're always there.

The only thing I can hope for is that I at least stay stronger than the demons. Even if I never kill them, I just have to keep them away for today...I try really hard not to worry about yesterdays demons, and I try not to worry about tomorrows, I just have to fight off the demons of today. It also helps me realize, when I am having bad moments, that what I am doing isn't me when I am having bad days and/or moments where I am having trouble controlling mood swings, anger-outbursts, sleep problems etc. especially, and start having bad thoughts or triggers. It helps me help myself instead of degrade myself. I used to hate myself to the very core for doing things (that i know now) were related to the trauma I had experienced through out my life. This only fueled the demons and i became a basket case. it ruined my relationships, jobs, education, sleep, self-esteem etc.

I have been battling demons since I was very small. I remember it started to come out in bad ways around puberty...while the other kids were going to basketball practice or sleep overs, I was cutting myself secretly for a cheap thrill. I was sickened by my own actions, I was and Ifelt very out-of-control over myself especially when I would zone out. I started using drugs and drinking to try and numb myself, which in turn, lead to more destructive behavior and dire consequences.

I know I am rambling on here lol, but if I can help at least one person to realize-who may not already- that, if you don't forgive yourself you will most likely, not be able to help yourself. I didn't seek treatment until last year when I had a major depressive mishap and finally had to face-up to the fact that I needed psychiatric help.

I have been living with this disorder for about 20 yrs or more- with a side of other labelled disorders- and it's in my observation that if we don't forgive ourselves, and view ourselves as weak or inferior...than we can't fight for ourselves and we can't find peace in ourselves either. everything else will wane away and crush our souls. We should all realize, like it was mentioned above, that this is not a contest as to how much we can endure. we only need to be stronger than ourselves and we don't need need to hurt ourselves just because others have. Remember, if you're no good to yourself, what good can you be to others? i guess sometimes when you have to be strong for so long, you don't even realize when it's time for help...but I hope that helped someone out there. thanx for reading. peace & take care :tup:

 

[reallydown]

Yip/...I have issues seeing things on tv...Libya really f***ed with my mind...because I remember how it all started...CAb;t watch certain types of film...unless I'm numb at the time, in which case I'll watch over and over and over again....As for the relationship question...I honestly have no idea...for the longest time I avoided even basic friendships...let alone relationships...I've recently ventured into those waters but have managed tyo drive everyone away...(at least when there was any kind of connection)...Generally, I find my trust issues and self-preservation insitncts don't allow me to bring down my walls and leave myself vulnerable in any way...so, I'm tempted to say that entering a new relationship ios very difficult...but perhaps I'm not the rule...Hope this makes sense and hope it's at least a little bit helpful.

 

[Sandra]

My relationship with my late husband was total hell. I don't know what he was hiding from, from his past. He never opened up to me about that. But whaever it was I really think that was the reason for his very heavy drinking, and his suicide.

And that makes it more difficult when you want to help someone but they don't want to help themselves.

 

[doglover]

Can you have a relationship with PTSD? I'd say yes, but it may take work. It may take understanding on both sides, good communication skills, good boundaries. It can take the sufferer being more open than what is comfortable for that person - to say hey, I'm hurting today. I don't know what I need to feel better (or I need xyz to feel better).

Romantic relationships are the hardest area for me. I have lots of trouble feeling attached to a person, due to how hard it was when I was traumatized to have that attachment severed in a harsh way. But I think it can be done.

Also yes, tv shows or scenes as triggers is really common I think. I don't really care for the news for that reason.